Automatic First Down: The Cursed Patriots, Carson Palmer and a Very Funky Ball

So you guys are probably wondering, and rightfully so, what exactly is Automatic First Down? Well, Well, Automatic First Down or AFD, for those if you that enjoy acronyms, is a new weekly column here on Sports Two about our favorite game. Football. No, this isn’t your run of the mill football column. This isn’t going to tell you who won last week’s game or how many yards Peyton Manning threw for. You can find that out yourself, you don’t need me telling you. If you do need me to tell you then you are wearing the wrong undergarments. A diaper would be more appropriate.
I’m just kidding, but I pride my self on delivering content that won’t be found anywhere else. This was a lesson I learned at a young age. You see I had a job writing for this golf magazine. Instead of writing about my personal experiences on the green I chose to write about Ángel Cabrera’s US Open win. It was a disaster. It turned out that the editor thought I copied it from somewhere. I didn’t. But there is only that much to write about one persons golf win. And most of that was already taken by big news agencies. So it looked like I had just copied and pasted. Anyone can write the news (they’re called tabloids) but it takes a real journalist to deliver that news in his own way. Enter me.
This new column will be published every weekend either Friday or Saturday. It would be great if you all could check it out and I will be very strict to myself on getting it to you in time. If I miss a week please feel free to come to my house, break down the door and haul away my TV so I can’t watch football anymore. You see I can’t live without watching football so it will never come to a faceless James Bond drop-kicking my plasma.

1. Terrelle Pyror will be good in the NFL. Maybe it’s the Buckeye in my writing right now but I see him as a good player. Maybe not as a quarterback but as an NFL player he will excel. Sure, he has hurdles in front of him. But who doesn’t? Everyone has hurdles in life but the people that overcome them are champions. Or track runners. And since Pyror doesn’t run track that means he is a champion. He might have hit the self-destruct button when he went to Oakland. The Raiders aren’t exactly known as a factory to build young players. More like a place to crush dreams. In the last ten years only two first picks by the Raiders have blossomed into stars. Those two players are Nnamdi Asomugha and Darren McFadden. One of them finally got fed up and left to a real Super Bowl contender. The other wasn’t played in his rookie season despite being praised by the media as the most complete Raider rookie. Another player from the Raider factory to kill dreams is now considered as the biggest draft bust of all time. His name is JaMarcus Russell. As for his game? It sucks. How’d the Raiders screw that one up? He was great in Baton Rouge and as soon as he hit Oakland. BUST. Of course the Raiders did do one thing good in that draft selecting Zach Miller. But he too left the not so promising fields in Oakland.

That being said I believe Terrelle Pyror will be able to buck that trend and perform well. He is no stranger to adversity. Heck, he played in the tainted era of college football in a program that is spelled Ohio State Football*. While him and fellow rookie Cam Newton have different views on tattoos they are roughly the same player and everyone jumped out of their seats handing Newton a Heisman and a couple million dollars. Pyror got squat. Truthfully he was a better quarterback. He had three good seasons while Cam Newton had one great season. Pyror did not get much glory at Ohio State. Of course since he was a quarterback for a national football team on par with the NFL he got glory. But not a lot of it. In High School though he was the greatest thing since sliced bread. These up’s and down’s in life will make Pyror work hard in the NFL and finally succeed.
But if he can’t there are thirty-one other teams!


2. The Buccaneers will be good, er elite, this year. Yeah, I said it. Someone had to. Josh Freeman might be my favorite quarterback in the NFL after Tom Terrific. He’s young and dedicated and heavily underrated. But he won’t be throwing to a fan in the stands. He has a young speedy receiver in Mike Williams who basically throws the ball to himself. Then they have a young, fast, powerful back in LeGarrette Blount. Him having another 1,000 yard season is inevitable and will complement the passing game perfectly. Did you notice a trend? All the players I mentioned are young and can only go up from here. The Bucs can only go up from here.
DeQuan Bowers and Adrian Clayborn will infuse energy into the defense that will propel them into being an efficient unit. The whole world expects Tampa Bay to regress after an amazing 2010 season. Well then I’m from another planet. Raheem Morris has finally got this crew in 2002 form, they have a trusty leader and expect the Bucs to have their swagger back in 2011.

3. The Patriots will not win the Super Bowl. If I were Marty McFly I would tell you who will win. Sadly, I’m not. But I can tell you that the Pats will not be dancing on their rival’s field in January. As a fan of New England it pains me to say this but they are still under the curse.
Like the Beast in Beauty and the Beast they will never be able to return to their old form. No matter what. The curse all began a few days before the Super Bowl against the Giants. The New York Times broke the story of Spygate just days before the epic culmination of the NFL season. In the days leading up to the Super Bowl many other news organizations such as the Boston Herald and ESPN caught on and since then the story blew up. The story is history. The Patriots were fined for videotaping New York Jets' defensive coaches' signals during a September 9, 2007 game from a sideline location, an act deemed by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to be in violation of league rules. They were never forgiven for this act. The Patriots lost the Super Bowl and have never won a playoff game since. That streak will continue this year. Sorry but karma’s a b*@&%h!

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