The Laws of Life

Discussion in 'Blazers OT Forum' started by MARIS61, Oct 15, 2011.

  1. MARIS61

    MARIS61 Real American

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    1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with
    grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

    2.Law of Gravity- Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped,
    will roll to the least accessible corner.

    3.Law of Probability-The probability of being watched is
    directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    4.Law of Random Numbers- If you dial a wrong number, you never
    get a busy signal and someone always answers.

    6.Variation Law-If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one
    you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now
    (works every time).

    7.Law of the Bath- When the body is fully immersed in water,
    the telephone rings.

    8.Law of Close Encounters-The probability of meeting someone
    you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you
    don't want to be seen with.

    9.Law of the Result- When you try to prove to someone that a
    machine won't work, it will.

    10.Law of Bio mechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely
    proportional to the ability to reach.

    11..Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the
    people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive
    last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times
    to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before
    the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the
    aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs
    or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance.
    The aisle people also are very surly folk.

    12.The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot
    coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last
    until the coffee is cold.

    13.Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a
    locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    14.Law of Physical Surfaces- The chances of an open-faced jelly
    sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated
    to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

    15.Law of Logical Argument- Anything is possible if you don't
    know what you are talking about.

    16.Brown's Law of Physical Appearance- If the clothes fit,
    they're ugly.

    17.Oliver's Law of Public Speaking- A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    18.Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy-As soon as you
    find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

    19.Doctors' Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to
    go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better..
    But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
     
  2. EL PRESIDENTE

    EL PRESIDENTE Username Retired in Honor of Lanny.

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    The Law of Rip City: Once you pour your heart and finally say "we're going to win it all now", the Blazers will rip your heart out in a spectacular manner . Whether it be Oden's Knees, Jordan's 3's or Magic's lob pass as time expires. :sigh:
     

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