To say that I’m feeling pressure would be an understatement. I seem to find myself in a difficult position and on the peripheral edge of some controversy. You see tonight I am sitting on Press Row. It maybe the 200 level press row, or what I call the Isle of Misfit Press, but I am still a credentialed member of the 4th estate. That shouldn’t be a problem right? I’ve sat here before, I was on press row for 3 games last year. 3 games! But what some of you may or may not know is that our continued existence on press row is not guaranteed. We are on double secret probation. What I write tonight will determine if we have a seat here for the rest of the season. What I write has to be witty, insightful and so damn good that our Blazer corporate benefactors fling open the gates to press heaven. There are just a couple of problems with this, first I’m not a journalist and worse… I’m a fan. You see as press you have to be dispassionate about the team, you have be stoic and at all times very serious and very professional. This was made clear to me last year when I was explained the unofficial rules of press row. You cannot wear team memorabilia. No jerseys, t-shirts, hats or anything with a team logo. You can only stand for the national anthem. You can’t show emotion. No cheering, high fiving, cussing, yelling, booing. You can’t say that the ref sucks or that scream when a player hits a big shot. No matter what happens you are required to remain in your seated and upright position. Wait… phone just pinged… email from Blazers… press pass not confirmed… “Jam packed crowd tonight.” SON OF A &^%$^&% I guess I’ll put this on hold and go get a haircut.
Congrats! Cheer anyway. Roses, puppies and delicate Olshey testicles are the topic of your article. Good luck.
Sly, I really enjoyed your takes after the few games last year. Ramblings about the bathrooms and periphery events made me feel I was right there with you man. You'll do great! Have fun!
Don't worry, most of the press, especially bloggers look like they eat mac and cheese out of a box and drink mountain dew like water. you'll fit right in.
FWIW, I'm told they're working on getting us the press pass and that a definitive "no" was not given to us.
This, BTW, is one thing I would be very good at. Not necessarily being witty or insightful, but setting my fandom aside and being virtually emotionless while watching the game. I'm sure you'll be fine, SPD.
He's been on press row before, it's nothing new. He's letting us know a bit of the first hand experience.
I compartmentalize very, very well. If I put myself in an analytical mindset, I would have no problem staying in my seat.
Don't wanna be a dick, but I can't stop myself from being one. Sorry. "Maybe" vs. "may be" is one of my pet peeves.
But seriously, though. Even the "misfit pressrow" needs to adhere to the no emotion policy? Sounds bogus
There is absolutely zero chance for me to ever be on the press row. I will not hold back cussing at officials, enemy or the imaginary friend that always bothers me at games!
