A guy dies

[Dark Hero]

A guy dies and arrives in hell.</p>

He's met by the devil, who tells him that</p>

everyone in hell picks how they want to spend the next 1,000 years.</p>

The devil leads the guy to room after</p>

room and torture, each one even more</p>

unspeakable than the one before it.In one</p>

room the condemned are screaming in a giant</p>

lake of fire.In another demons are stabbing them with pitchforks.</p>

Finally, the devil leads they guy trembling</p>

into a room where a hot young blonde is</p>

performing hardcore oral on a smelly old</p>

bum drinking beer.</p>

"This is more like it!"the guy says.</p>

"Are you sure?"the devil says."It lasts for 1,000 years!"</p>

"Oh yes, I'm sure!"the guy replies.</p>

So the devil walks over to the young</p>

women and says, "you could go now, honey.</p>

I've found your replacement."</p>

LMAO</p>

 

[Universe]

Haha that's awesome.</p>

 

[pegs]

hahaha...pretty predictable he was gonna take the blonde's place, but i laughed anyways</p>

 

[LakerBlood]

Lol, pretty cool man.</p>

 

[CelticKing]

We have a joke in my country, i'll try and explain it here lol.</p>

Ok so a guy dies and right away he meets god, and god lets him know that because he has been so so in life (not very good but at the same time not that bad either), he's going to let the guy decide whether he wants to spend the rest of the time in heaven or in hell. So god tells him to take a peek at both places. the guy looks to the heaven and sees nice green fields, lots of trees, everything is beautiful but all the people are old. then he goes to see what hell is about and there he sees all young people, smoking, partying, but they're stuck in shit from waist down. (basically the legs)</p>

so he thinks about and tells god that he's going to choose to go to hell and god grants his wish. As soon as he goes there and starts talking to people, god makes an announcment, "break is over", and they have to put their whole bodies in crap, with their heads and everything. lol</p>

</p>

 

[JE]

Three ants crawl on to a woman's body one nightin bed.</p>

They all talk to each other on where they're going to sleep for the night.</p>

The first ant says "I'm gonna sleep in her mouth" and he crawls in her mouth.</p>

The second ant says "I'm gonna sleep between her tits" and he crawls between her tits.</p>

The third ant decides to go sleep in her vagina. So he crawls down there.</p>

The next morning all the ants get together and ask each other about their nights.</p>

The first ant says "My night was wet, but OK."</p>

The second ant says"My night was kinda sweaty, but for the most part good."</p>

The third ant says "My night sucked!!"</p>

The others ask why.</p>

The ant says "Well, I was just falling asleep, when some one-eyed man came in, rammed me up against a wall, spitall overme, and then left!!"</p>