A heartfelt message from MM

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in 2004, my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her oncologist could not accurately stage the cancer because in the early 90's, she had a lumpectomy on the same breast. That surgery removed most of the lymph nodes on that side of her body to determine if the cancer could have spread. Fortunately, the lab results from the lymph node biopsies was negative. But without those lymph nodes, the oncologist, thru the lab, could not gauge her stage of cancer in 2004. But the assumption was at least stage 3, but might have been stage 4. it was a rather large tumor

now, for decades, the fairly standard protocol for a series of chemotherapy treatments was a treatment every three weeks. Keep in mind that chemotherapy is, for the most part, a fancy word for poison. Anyway, the protocol was every 3 weeks because not only do the chemicals hammer your cancer, they also hammer your blood by wiping out your red and white blood cells. So, the three week interlude between poisonings is meant to give your body time to recover your blood counts such that you are strong enough to go thru another poisoning without dying. It's the old "the cure is worse than the disease' conundrum. But the big problem was that at the same time the blood cells were rebuilding, so were the cancer cells. Two steps forward, two steps back can be a death sentence in cancer treatment

However, the University of Washington has a 1st class oncology research school. And they were able to develop two drugs that were capable of rebuilding your red and white blood cells to normal levels in 3-5 days. Thus, they developed a new protocol: dose-dense

it was a simple math equation. If a single dose of chemotherapy kills 50% of the cancer cells but the cancer cells only recover marginally in that first critical week, being able to apply another batch of chemotherapy a week later, instead of 3 weeks later, wins the battle, at least in theory on a mathematical level. Those two drugs maintain an acceptable level of blood counts allowing a blast of chemo every week instead of every 3 weeks

that's what my wife faced. First, a double mastectomy to eliminate any cancer-prone breast tissue, and the installation of a port to allow for easy chemo injections. That was pretty impactful surgery but they started he chemo treatments about a week after the surgery. Chemo every week...for 40 consecutive weeks. Even with the drugs, that's an extremely aggressive protocol. And she was wiped out after 30 weeks. After the 40 weeks of chemo, she was scheduled to undergo 10 weeks of a drug like chemo called Herceptin. She had 2 injection of that but her temperature kept spiking and falling and they couldn't get in under control so they discontinued the Herceptin for a period. And in that period new data came out questioning the effectiveness of herceptin. So they discarded that protocol

bottom line was she went into remission for 20 years. That was an excellent outcome and I'd encourage anybody who knows a woman who gets diagnosed with breast cancer to ask about dose-dense protocol.

unfortunately, during a laryngoscopy Monday, the doctor discovered a mass in my wife's esophagus he suspects is malignant. And esophageal cancer is a different, more deadly battlefield, than breast cancer. So, we are waiting for the results of biopsies of the tissue samples taken during the procedure. But chances are pretty high it will be cancer. My wife is brave for sure. Probably braver than I would be. She has already decided that she will only go a certain distance in treatment. She'll have surgery, if it's a viable option. Maybe a little radiation; maybe some mild chemo...but not both. And depending on the prognosis, maybe none of the above. That 'treatment worse than the disease' has robbed too many people of some decent weeks and months at the end of life. Somebody in their 40's or 50's has good reasons to utilize every option. Somebody in the mid-to-late 70's doesn't have the same reasons.

so, that's where she's at. I feel kind of helpless but I don't really matter right now. I just have to be what she needs me to be

Sounds like your wife is fighter. Hopefully, she can beat this too. Glad they found it. Hope they found it soon enough. Esophageal cancer is a tough one. Just nearly escaped it myself a few years back.

I truly hope surgery and/or chemo help her beat this. From what you shared she and you with her have already endured a lot. My thoughts are with you both.
 
So how is she?

She doesn't tell me details, but she's proud and a fighter (as several husbands will attest), and seems to be doing fine. The nurse at Fred Hutchinson says she's the trophy they talk about. She claims it's because she hits the gym treadmill every couple of days.

Instead of repping so many posts in this thread, I'll just say that I wish you all well. As you get old, your relatives and former friends drop like flies. The worst is when the ones younger than you go. I learned of a cousin more than 15 years younger than me. Now my other cousin's daughter, a full generation younger than me. When you're young, you think, that's sad. When you're old, it's, I'm overdue!
 
She doesn't tell me details, but she's proud and a fighter (as several husbands will attest), and seems to be doing fine. The nurse at Fred Hutchinson says she's the trophy they talk about. She claims it's because she hits the gym treadmill every couple of days.

Instead of repping so many posts in this thread, I'll just say that I wish you all well. As you get old, your relatives and former friends drop like flies. The worst is when the ones younger than you go. I learned of a cousin more than 15 years younger than me. Now my other cousin's daughter, a full generation younger than me. When you're young, you think, that's sad. When you're old, it's, I'm overdue!
Thank you for sharing. Yes, as you get older and people younger start passing it hits different.
 
Fuck cancer. Just had a friend's sister pass away way too young after her battle. I didn't know her well but I do remember vividly one summer 24 hour Relay for Life that I spent with their family. Heartbreaking
 
Wow, this is a rough but really meaningful thread. My first experience with cancer was my best friend's Mom battling pancreatic for 6 years before it took her from us. She was an amazing person.

Another of my good friends got Hodgkins the year after we graduated from highschool and he's been cancer free now for over 25 years.

It took my grandma from us and although she was 70 it was still just way too soon. She was still walking 18 holes a couple times a week and going out dancing once or twice a month... seemed to be the model of health. That Christmas we were all together and she was coughing a lot but just thought it was a dry throat. She went to her doctor a couple of weeks later, he referred her to an oncologist who told her she had esophageal cancer and only had weeks or a couple of months. She was in the hospital the following week, in a coma a few days after that and then she was gone within the next week.

Fuck Cancer! It can torture for years which is merciless but it can also take so quickly which is unbearable in it's own way. I'm so sorry for those of you who are fighting it right now but I'm pulling for you and just hoping for whatever outcome gives you the most of what you want and need.
 
I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer on 12/6. It was the worst. I cared for him his last week and am grateful I could be there for him.

we just had his celebration of life this Sunday. It was beautiful and sad all at the same time. RIP Sedatedfork Sr.
 

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