wizenheimer
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it's the dog days of summer, so then....
a buddy of mine who I used to play a lot of pick-up BB games with visited me a while back. We got to talking about our glory days and got in a little debate about which type of 'minor' injury was worse: a sprained ankle or a solid shot to the nutbag...
now, I'm not talking about a Josh McRoberts level of sprained ankle where you're mostly horizontal for two weeks with bruising and swelling from your toes to your knee and where you have to use crutches and a walking boot to get around...
no, this is the kind of sprained ankle where your brain short-circuits for 10-15 seconds because of the blast of pain; you look for something to grab onto, like your best buddy (more on that later), and you hop grunting and moaning to someplace you can collapse and suffer and curse your luck and anything else until the pain level drops enough you can hobble your way home while vowing to give up basketball and then self-medicate for a day or two (or seven). Your ankle is tender for 2 or 3 days and you stay away from anything physical for 2 or 3 more days.
I'm also not talking about a crushing slam to your manhood like Joel Przybilla had where he missed 3 weeks of a season because of a contusion down there. I mean, how hard did he get crushed to end up with a contusion on his essentials? I shudder to think about it
no, this the type of nut-slam where your eyes immediately bulge out of your head, you combine an immediate mix of a gasp-squeak-squawk-groan-squeal into a single exhale of misery and you sink lower and lower to the floor and a pool of self-pity while you crawl to a wall to lean against, break out in a cold sweat, and try not to puke. If an anemic 5 year old with the flu and broken arm wanted to steal the shoes off your feet, you wouldn't have the strength to stop it. The pain and the shock are pretty much gone 30 to 40 minutes later but the ptsd remains and you waddle home and don't even want to visit Pornhub as a distraction
so which is it? what is the lesser evil? which would you endure if you had to endure one?
* the more later: way way back when I was a student at the UofO, on a sunny and hot spring day, six of us were playing a pick-up game on an outdoor court. I came down on somebody's foot and the above outlined sprain occurred. Unfortunately for one of my buddies, he was right in front of me with his back turned toward me. My reflex, to keep from collapsing, was to reach out and grab him for support. Somehow, I managed to get his trapezius muscle in a vice-like-mr-spock-vulcan-death-hold grip that just about paralyzed him. I had no idea what I was doing...just reaction. So, a friend of ours walked by at the time and saw me grimace-gasping in pain and directly in front of me our buddy with the same stupid oh-god-help-me-please expression. He was still laughing about it 25 years later. For some reason, the friend I had the death grip on didn't see the humor till a day or two later
a buddy of mine who I used to play a lot of pick-up BB games with visited me a while back. We got to talking about our glory days and got in a little debate about which type of 'minor' injury was worse: a sprained ankle or a solid shot to the nutbag...
now, I'm not talking about a Josh McRoberts level of sprained ankle where you're mostly horizontal for two weeks with bruising and swelling from your toes to your knee and where you have to use crutches and a walking boot to get around...
no, this is the kind of sprained ankle where your brain short-circuits for 10-15 seconds because of the blast of pain; you look for something to grab onto, like your best buddy (more on that later), and you hop grunting and moaning to someplace you can collapse and suffer and curse your luck and anything else until the pain level drops enough you can hobble your way home while vowing to give up basketball and then self-medicate for a day or two (or seven). Your ankle is tender for 2 or 3 days and you stay away from anything physical for 2 or 3 more days.
I'm also not talking about a crushing slam to your manhood like Joel Przybilla had where he missed 3 weeks of a season because of a contusion down there. I mean, how hard did he get crushed to end up with a contusion on his essentials? I shudder to think about it
no, this the type of nut-slam where your eyes immediately bulge out of your head, you combine an immediate mix of a gasp-squeak-squawk-groan-squeal into a single exhale of misery and you sink lower and lower to the floor and a pool of self-pity while you crawl to a wall to lean against, break out in a cold sweat, and try not to puke. If an anemic 5 year old with the flu and broken arm wanted to steal the shoes off your feet, you wouldn't have the strength to stop it. The pain and the shock are pretty much gone 30 to 40 minutes later but the ptsd remains and you waddle home and don't even want to visit Pornhub as a distraction
so which is it? what is the lesser evil? which would you endure if you had to endure one?
* the more later: way way back when I was a student at the UofO, on a sunny and hot spring day, six of us were playing a pick-up game on an outdoor court. I came down on somebody's foot and the above outlined sprain occurred. Unfortunately for one of my buddies, he was right in front of me with his back turned toward me. My reflex, to keep from collapsing, was to reach out and grab him for support. Somehow, I managed to get his trapezius muscle in a vice-like-mr-spock-vulcan-death-hold grip that just about paralyzed him. I had no idea what I was doing...just reaction. So, a friend of ours walked by at the time and saw me grimace-gasping in pain and directly in front of me our buddy with the same stupid oh-god-help-me-please expression. He was still laughing about it 25 years later. For some reason, the friend I had the death grip on didn't see the humor till a day or two later
