Favorite Simpsons Quotes

[TimmyDMVP]

Since i saw the other two threads i wanted to see what are some of your favorite quotes from the Simspsons?

Homer: Let that be a lesson to you lisa, never love anything
Lisa: Even you dad?
Homer: Espicially me

 

[P.A.P.]

ugh another thread..cut my reply out from the other thread to post in here:


One of my fav parts of the Simpsons is where Apu has the 8 kids (autuplets or whatever) and theyre cash strapped and Marge gives them banana bread and Apu talks back sarcastically
<font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><font size="2">
<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">
Marge: I knew you had your hands full with the babies, so I baked you some banana bread.
Apu (sarcastic): Oh hallelujah, our problems are solved. We have banana bread.
Marge: Well, you don't have to be sarcastic.</div>
Audio
</font></font>
<font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><font size="2"><div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">Marge: Maybe you two should get a nanny.
Apu: Yes, and what would I pay her with? Banana bread? Sorry, sorry, it's just that we haven't slept in days, and we're running out of money and ... banana bread? What the hell were you thinking? Banana bread. Apologize, apologize again. As a token of forgiveness, please take this baby.
Homer: No, Marge, no!</div>
Audio

http://www.lardlad.com/assets/quotes/
http://www.lardlad.com/assets/quotes/season11/eight.shtml</font></font>

 

[Bobcats]

^ LMAO. That one's great.

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

Lenny: Wow! Homer must have got one of those robot cars!
(Car crashes in background)
Carl: Yeah, one of those AMERICAN robot cars.

 

[M Two One]

I'm not a fan of the new stuff but the old seasons of the Simpsons are classics. One of my favourite quote is when Homer is eating ice crwam, not sure if this is exact anyway.

Homer: "Marge, what's the thing you use to dig in the food?"
Marge: "The Spoon?"
Homer: "Yeah, gimme, gimme!"

Or another when Homer stole all that sugar and the bees were coming to take it all and he was being stung by them.

Homer: "Oww.. Owwww! They're defending themselves somehow."

 

[TheFreshPrince]

<div class="quote_poster">Quoting Bobcats:</div><div class="quote_post">^ LMAO. That one's great.

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
</div>

that is one of my all time favs

 

[P.A.P.]

Sideshow Bob: Homer, to identify your killer, I must follow you through the course of a normal day. Just do as you usually do, and the killer will reveal himself.
Homer: Gotcha.
(cut to Bob and Homer hang-gliding)

 

[Chutney]

I was looking at a site with a bunch of quotes and these ones made me laugh the hardest:

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life?
Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.</div>

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">Homer: [Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!</div>

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">Homer: When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power ... like God must feel when he's holding a gun.</div>

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">Wiggum: Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown.
Officer: That's "Homer J. Simpson", Chief. You're reading it upside down.
Wiggum: Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros.
Officer: Uh, Chief? You're talking into your wallet. [wallet unfurls]</div>

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.</div>

 

[Really Lost One]

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">
Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
</div>

Yeah, I still remember that. lmao. I was like wtf? That grandpa really has some issues.

 

[I-Miss-MJ]

man anything Ralph says is gold these days.

Me fail english? That umpossible

my cats breath smalls like cat food

etc etc.


Homer: Lisa, if the bible has taught us nothing else...and it hasnt...its that girls should stick to girls sports such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing and such and such

 

[Really Lost One]

Well, this isn't really the most funniest quote, but I just thought of it from the top of my head, thanks to I-Miss-MJ.

Ralph: Lisa Simpson is a girl in my school.

Detective: I know! you've been saying that for the last 10 minutes! Do you know anything else?

Ralph: One time, I picked my nose and my nose started bleeding.

 

[I-Miss-MJ]

Ralph: When I grow up I want to be a principal or a caterpillar.


Ralph: Yay, I'm a fire truck wooooooooo *runs around*

 

[Karma]

There was one episode in which Marge is trying to hint at Homer about having sex. She says something to the extent of

"and a little later, I have a suprise for youuu, just you wait"

Homer: NOOO I WANT THE KIDS TO SEE!!

LOLLLLLLL

Almost all of the classic episodes are filled with memorables moments and quotes.
Another one of my favourite has to be during that lassie dog episode when Wiggum comes to the house where the burglary call was placed, kicks the door down and THEN rings the doorbell. HAHAHA

 

[NTC]

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">Lionel Hutz: Well heres your Pizza.

Marge: But we won the case.

Lionel Hutz: That's ok, the box is empty.</div>

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">*Bart & Lisa Wake Up Lionel hutz*

Lionel Hutz: Stay out of my things! Hey, this isnt the Y.M.C.A.</div>

Lionel Hutz = Best. Simpsons. Character. Ever.

 

[Chutney]

He's certainly up there.

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">Hutz: Uh-oh, we've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kind of ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Hutz: Well replace the word "kind of" with the word "repeatedly" and the word "dog" with "son."</div>

 

[dunksworth]

Too many quotes, so little time.... but here's a few:

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">Homer: Hello my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me
Postal Worker: Okay Mr. Burns, what's your first name?
Homer: I don't know</div>

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">GRANDPA: That Doll is Evil!!!!
MARGE: Grandpa, you've said that about every toy
GRANDPA: I know, I just want attention.</div>

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">HOMER: If you've been good...pizza, if you've been bad...poison.
LISA: What if one of us has been good, and the other bad?
BART: Poison pizza.
HOMER: Oh, no! I'm not making two stops!</div>

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">BARNEY: (stands up at girl scout meeting): Hi, my name is Barney, and I'm an alcoholic
LISA: Mr. Gumble, this is a girl scout meeting
BARNEY: Is it, or is it that you girl scouts can't admit that you have a problem?
</div>

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">
Audience: Boo! Boo!
Burns: Smithers...are they booing me?
Smithers: Uh, no, they're saying "Boo-urns! Boo-urns!"
Burns: Are you saying "boo" or "Boo-urns"?
Audience: Boo! Boo!
Hans: I was saying "Boo-urns"...</div>

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">Homer: Oh Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos</div>

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">Barney: Uh oh my heart just stopped..... ah there it goes</div>

 

[I-Miss-MJ]

Mr Burns: I think I'll donate a million dollars to charity...when pigs fly
Burns and Smithers laugh then a pig flies across the window
Smithers: So will you be donating that money now?
Mr Burns: No, I think I'll still keep it