Harry Potter fan commits suicide. Hilarity ensues

[Fez Hammersticks]

A rabid Harry Potter fan took his life yesterday after inadvertently learning a plot spoiler from the soon-to-be-released J.K. Rowling movie, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince." 



Jude Ralston, 32, of Hudson, Ohio left a suicide note indicating that since overhearing the plot spoiler at a shopping mall earlier in the day, "I no longer have a reason to live." 



Family and friends who gathered for a candlelight memorial outside Mr. Ralston's house remembered a man who seemed to live only for Harry Potter - and wondered if they could have done anything to prevent his tragic fate. 



LINK​

 

[Colonel Ronan]

and wondered if they could have done anything to prevent his tragic fate. 



Perhaps they could of bought him the book...

 

[RickyRubio]

This happened in 2005

 

[Colonel Ronan]

Do you mean one similar, or this exact story?

 

[Natebishop3]

Perhaps they could of bought him the book...

Yeah...... he did realize that the movie was based on a novel?

 

[Colonel Ronan]

Yeah...... he did realize that the movie was based on a novel?

Haha, I wonder if that was his last thought when he was pulling the trigger.

"Shit, didn't I already read that Snape killed Dumbledore?"

 

[Natebishop3]

Haha, I wonder if that was his last thought when he was pulling the trigger.

"Shit, didn't I already read that Snape killed Dumbledore?"

At first I was sad that Dumbledore was killed..... but actually I'm relieved, because the current Dumbledore sucks ass.

 

[Colonel Ronan]

Yeah, his voice is dreadful. The original Dumbledore was exactly how I pictured him.

 

[Natebishop3]

Yeah, his voice is dreadful. The original Dumbledore was exactly how I pictured him.

The original Dumbledore actually had talent. The current Dumbledore is just creepy... Pedo alert!

 

[chris_in_pdx]

The original Dumbledore actually had talent. The current Dumbledore is just creepy... Pedo alert!

Well, duh, he's gay!

(completely joking for our resident rainbow people)

 

[julius]

I know what they could've done for him. Got him laid.

 

[Fez Hammersticks]

I haven't seen a single Harry Potter movie.

I think I'd rather watch re-runs of C-Span.

 

[alex42083]

I know what they could've done for him. Got him laid.

What the hell is wrong with some people... geezus..

 

[BrianFromWA]

I'll admit I was peeved when I finished the book in a 9-hour binge and found out SPOILER. I threw the book across the room.

Haven't seen a movie since the first one. I'm generally not good with watching movies where I know what it should be like. Started with the Firm, and then Return of the King was the end of it for me.

 

[alex42083]

I'll admit I was peeved when I finished the book in a 9-hour binge and found out Albus was dead. I threw the book across the room.

Thanks for ruining it for me.

 

[BrianFromWA]

Sorry. Edited.

BTW, Darth Vader is Luke's father.