How long would you wait...

[julius]

for the right person?

Now, I don't mean "I'm saving myself for marriage" or "I'm desperate to get laid and if I don't within X dates, screw her" way, or "she's married and I'm waiting for her marriage to end" or whatever...

But how long would you wait for the right person before you just said "fuck it, I'm done"?

Not that this has any bearing on anything, just was watching a movie on TV and it made me think about it.

 

[MARIS61]

What is the reason you have to wait?

Bottom line if she/he is "the one", you MAKE it happen.

 

[Fez Hammersticks]

Still motherfucking waiting.

LaSigh.

 

[julius]

What is the reason you have to wait?

Bottom line if she/he is "the one", you MAKE it happen.

I get that idea, but I don't necessarily mean that you KNOW the person. Like, if you're single, and there's no one out there that speaks to you/other clap trap that they say.

Another way to think about it...if somehow you knew that you'd meet someone who would be the yin to your yang, the abbott to your costello, but you wouldn't meet them for 10 more years..but you could continue to date people who were more like your Curly Joe DeRita to your Mo Howard, would you date even if it meant that you might not get the right one.

The movie that "inspired" this was What Dreams May Come, and how the end was where they have to re=live life or whatever it was.

damn movie making me introspective.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

for the right person?

Now, I don't mean "I'm saving myself for marriage" or "I'm desperate to get laid and if I don't within X dates, screw her" way, or "she's married and I'm waiting for her marriage to end" or whatever...

But how long would you wait for the right person before you just said "fuck it, I'm done"?

Not that this has any bearing on anything, just was watching a movie on TV and it made me think about it.

I don't care how long you wait, I'm never having sex with you.

 

[julius]

I don't care how long you wait, I'm never having sex with you.

But you promised!!

 

[SlyPokerDog]

But you promised!!

Saying you have a nice avatar is not a promise to have sex.

 

[julius]

Saying you have a nice avatar is not a promise to have sex.

well, what was with the nude photos you sent to me?

granted, they were of wookee and rosie o'donnell, but still. Naked is naked.

 

[BLAZER PROPHET]

How long would I wait?

As long as it takes.

 

[PtldPlatypus]

Personally, I think that the notion of finding "that perfect person" is one of the reasons people have so much difficulty making relationships last. They expect the other person to be a flawless fit, and surmise that if the relationship has difficulties, then it's not "meant to be" and that person isn't "the one."

My opinion, the "perfect person" doesn't exist. We are continually adapting and evolving to our circumstances, and in a relationship, we have to continually adapt and evolve to the needs of the other. Relationships don't work because people find their perfect complement; they work because people are willing to subjugate their selfish desires to the wants/needs of another whose well-being they consider to be more important than their own.

/rant

 

[jlprk]

Another question is, how long would you wait for a psycho to finally divorce you? Because only a loser would let it go on and on for years.

And the answer is: ...Never mind.

 

[3RA1N1AC]

Don't wait

You could die tomorrow

 

[julius]

Don't wait

You could die tomorrow

That can be a good m.o., but not always. I've rushed a few relationships, thinking she was more serious than she was, and it blew up in my face (go ahead, make the joke about me rushing a few relationships and blowing up in her face).

 

[donkiez]

Love is an emotion and an ability, if you are not able to open yourself up then you will never find the right person. After I realize that I found the right girl who I love very much. Before that I found the right girl once but it was the wrong time, and we both ended up hurting each other badly. In between the two I found many wrong girls at the right times and punished them all appropriately.

 

[3RA1N1AC]

That can be a good m.o., but not always. I've rushed a few relationships, thinking she was more serious than she was, and it blew up in my face (go ahead, make the joke about me rushing a few relationships and blowing up in her face).

no, i meant keep looking for the right one, but no need to wait for shit, it happens, it happens, it doesnt, perpetual strange

win/win

 

[MARIS61]

If you've already met her and are waiting, you should be having this conversation with her. But if you'd met her we'd probably not have this thread.

If you haven't met her yet, you need to change up your lifestyle. Go to new places, take up new interests, that's how you meet new kinds of people. She's not going to walk into your neighborhood bar if she hasn't by now. Expand your horizons.

 

[julius]

This wasn't about me, it was about the movie, and what it caused me to think about.

 

[3RA1N1AC]

The correct answer is don't wait, and don't quit

 

[crandc]

Platypus has some good points. But I still am uncertain as to the meaning of the question. What does "give up" mean? Adjust to living single, figure you will for the rest of your life? Stop dating? Or keep dating with the assumption it will just be today's fun? Or worst of all marry/civil union/commitment ceremony someone who you know is not really "right" just to avoid being single?

After my mother died, a few years later my father remarried. He was over 70 and the woman whom he married a few years older. She'd had a bad marriage (although it left her very wealthy, he was a Hollywod producer) and divorced at a young age, lived happily single, and found what turned out to be the "right person" when she was nearly 75. She thought she'd never have a real relationship and he thought he'd never have another. Never too late. Incidentally, they cohabited for a while before tying the knot. I reminded my father how shocked he'd been when my cousin Maria did the same back in 1969 or so and he rather sheepishly said something about times have changed.