Internal Corporate Customer memo

[Fez Hammersticks]

I'm willing to bet money that Mike Barrett wrote this corporate customer memo. The resemblance to what MB would say is uncanny:

Q: I want out of my seats.
A: We will accept your cancellation although we hope you do stay with us as the team needs our support more than ever.

Q: You sat on this information and knew all along. You just waited to tell us until you sold seasons and packages.
A: This news is surprising and disappointing. I'd like to send you a copy of the press conference from last night where our medical staff speaks specifically to the nature and timeline of Greg's most recent injury. Please take a look and then let's speak again.

Q: The medical staff does not know what they are doing.
A: We have the utmost confidence in our medical staff. Injuries are part of this game.

Q: The season is done.
A: This is very disappointing for all of us. Greg is family and we all feel like we've been hit in the gut. What I do know is that this team has faced adversity before and has risen to the challenge. We have a deep roster full of guys who simply don't quit.

Q: Greg's career is over.
A: Greg is family and we believe in him. He is just 22 and one of the hardest workers. He wants nothing more than to play and make Portland proud.

Q: How do you know that he'll be back?
A: We can't be certain. What we do know for certain is that he has our full commitment as an organization to support him in his comeback.

Q: What about Brandon, will he ever be the same?
A: Brandon has evolved his game in each season he's been with us. He is a smart and skilled player and if he needs to evolve his game again, he will.

-BlazersEdge

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

my internal memo is this:

Fuck off Band-wagoners.

 

[Fez Hammersticks]

If I could endure the Telfair/Monia/Khryapa/Ha/Ratliff era this is a walk in the park in comparison. But it wouldn't surprise me if the fans who bought the season tickets when we won the draft lotto canceled their tickets. I'd actually expect it.

 

[Blazer_Hippie]

The era of Ha was nice because I could always get dirt cheap tickets...

 

[Webster's Dictionary]

But... but... but... it's not about performance! The reason the fans went away, and are now back is all because of character, right? If we'd won championships with the "Jailblazer" squad, the fans would have definitely still stayed away, because our character was bad. So very, very bad.
[/sarcasm]

I want a team that represents the community well as much as the next guy, but it was so laughable to read posts on the boards of stuff Canzano said, that we were, "Responsible for bringing a good character team to Portland and demanding that the Jailblazers be gone."

Yeah, it's about winning. The team wins, does well, the fans come. Regardless of character.

 

[Natebishop3]

Eh, what do you expect them to say?

Q: I want out of my seats.
A: I don't blame you. I already sold my season tickets on stub hub before the Roy and Oden news broke.

Q: You sat on this information and knew all along. You just waited to tell us until you sold seasons and packages.
A: I had to meet my quota. I have a feeling we're going to have a hard time selling tickets for the next few years.

Q: The medical staff does not know what they are doing.
A: They've been trying a new method... It's centered around that board game "Operation".... very fascinating stuff.

Q: The season is done.
A: Well, not technically. We still have 69 games left, but we won't make the playoffs, if that's what you mean...

Q: Greg's career is over.
A: Probably, but we think he'll make a great dentist.

Q: How do you know that he'll be back?
A: The Magic Eight Ball told us so.

Q: What about Brandon, will he ever be the same?
A: Define, "the same"...

 

[hasoos]

The fact is they should always treat you nice. That's their job.

 

[BBert]

my internal memo is this:

Fuck off Band-wagoners.

Nice!

 

[BBert]

If I could endure the Telfair/Monia/Khryapa/Ha/Ratliff era this is a walk in the park in comparison. But it wouldn't surprise me if the fans who bought the season tickets when we won the draft lotto canceled their tickets. I'd actually expect it.

If any bandwagonners want to sell me their 200-level or better season tickets for half-price, please contact me.

Thank you,

-BBert.