Long distance relationships

[Sir Desmond]

Have just entered my first. I am 21 years old (22 this coming Saturday). I live in Melbourne in Victoria, she will be in Bunbury in Western Australia. The Aussies here will know where these places are, but for everyone else, it's about a four hour flight between.

I'll give the background information first. We have been dating about a month after forming a pretty close friendship after meeting in September last year. Now, due to a combination of family issues and work commitments (both unavoidable) she is going to be away for the next 4-6 months. Ending it wasn't an option for either of us as we have something pretty special, so we both committed to doing the whole long distance thing. She has done it before and had it work, but this is my first time. She is 11 days younger than I am, so pretty much the same age.

Now obviously I am confident we'll be able to make it work, but at the same time I know most people who make that sort of commitment would think the same thing, and realistically long distance relationships wouldn't have the negative stigma they do if they worked out most of the time. It probably helps in our case that we know it's not going to be for a massive amount of time, half a year at the most. We'll still see eachother every six weeks or so, and talk on the phone, online and message pretty much every day.

Just wondering if anyone else has been through such a situation (I assume a few people here would have tried it when going from high school to college etc), whether or not it worked out, any advice etc.

Thanks in advance, fire away.

 

[Casual]

My advice is to postpone the relationship until she gets there and hump as many girls as possible in the meantime. If she asks if you slept with any girls while she was away you say "Of course not" with your fingers crossed in your pocket. It doesn't count that way! Now, I know what you're thinking. "I don't want to do that, I want to be faithful and I'd feel guilty." But that's half the fun. Adds some spice to the relationship. You never know when you're going to get drunk and accidentally blurt out something you'll regret. And the best part is, you won't hate her enough to blurt out anything that big until you're both too far into the relationship to abandon ship! Trust me on this.

 

[44Thrilla]

Happy jerking.

 

[Sir Desmond]

I love you Cas. Now I just need Shiek to visit this thread and post the exact opposite of everything you've just said and the cycle will be complete.

Then, and only then can this thread be closed.

 

[Sir Desmond]

<div class="quote_poster">44Thrilla Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">Happy jerking.</div>

Bingo.

 

[Mr. J]

I don't know, I haevn't had any long distance relationships (the lonest was an hour on the train), so the only advice I can give is just be patient, I guess. It won't be so bad since you can talk to her on the phone, online, and everything else and if it's that special than it's worth being patient. At least it's only 4 months, unlike some which last like 4 years because of college or grad school etc.

 

[Casual]

Your Valentine's Day gift to her should be a high-powered webcam.

 

[Casual]

For cybersex.

 

[J_Ray]

I know I'm sorta getting off topic but there's this chick at my school that's going to date this guy from Kansas she met on Myspace. He's even coming to Cali for 2 weeks just to see her and they've never even met in-person before. He's going to be staying at her house too and her parents have no problem with it.....is it just me or is that **** weird?

 

[Sir Desmond]

That's weird.

Anyway my girl is coming down here for a week in mid February, so that will certainly make things easier and give me something to work towards. I figure the time will be easier to handle if it gets broken up.

 

[monty001]

Sometimes being away from each other can help. If you guys won't see eachother for a while...then when she comes back, maybe your relationship will get stronger. I personally haven't had a long distance relationship but I have seen it where that happens. You realize how much you care for that person when they're not around.

 

[Mel JBB]

I've seen many long distance relationships among my friends...and for the most part, it gets too difficult to last. They almost always settled for an open relationship / on-and-off kinda thing in the end.

My bestfriend was in a long distance relationship for over a year, with a girl that was halfway across the country. The only reason why they lasted so long was because they were ALWAYS talking to each other on the phone.

4-6 months is doable, but constant communication is the only way it'll be possible.

 

[huevonkiller]

I really don't believe in long distance relationships. In fact, I think about MTV's "Real World" (the show) every time I hear that term. Images of MTV sluts going to clubs and cheating on their boyfriends/girlfriends in the jacuzzi come up.

 

[Mamba]

It ain't that hard to hold a long distance relationship if you keep in contact and trust each other.

 

[NTC]

Doesnt the "long distance" part defeat the purpose of a relationship anyway?

 

[Mamba]

If your purpose in a relationship is to bone, then yeah it does. If you aren't that shallow-minded, then no.

 

[Bahir]

<div class="quote_poster">Mamba Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">If your purpose in a relationship is to bone, then yeah it does. If you aren't that shallow-minded, then no.</div>

So you are saying long distance relationships only work for women (who are not sluts)?

 

[Mamba]

^eh? Throwin' me off. Sarcasm?

 

[Bahir]

Well, not really sarcasm but a joke no less, seeing as men mostly bone first and ask questions later...

 

[Mamba]

Haha, that's what I thought you meant haha. You have to understand I'm running on 8 hours of sleep over two days, I thought I had to work at 530 this morning, so I got up at 430, but I don't work until 530 this evening.

 

[Shapecity]

I could never last in a long distance relationship. After awhile you run out of things to talk about because you aren't experiencing anything together. You end up getting bored with one another.

 

[Sir Desmond]

<div class="quote_poster">NTC187 Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">Doesnt the "long distance" part defeat the purpose of a relationship anyway?</div>

If I was only planning on being with her for 4-6 months, then sure.

 

[Sir Desmond]

<div class="quote_poster">Mel JBB Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">
4-6 months is doable, but constant communication is the only way it'll be possible.</div>

Absolutely, right now neither of us can even handle not talking at least once a day and I can't see that changing anytime soon.

I am confident it will all work out, just wondering if other people had had the same sort of experience.

 

[NTC]

<div class="quote_poster">Mamba Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">If your purpose in a relationship is to bone, then yeah it does. If you aren't that shallow-minded, then no.</div>

Well even if your purpose isnt just about the sex, I thought a relationship was about being together, I mean I guess its ok here for Desmond because his lady is coming back in 4-6 months, but for those who like live on the other side of the world / country / state or what ever, I just dont see the point.

If you want to be with a girl that badly, you'd go with her, or like wise.

 

[Mel JBB]

<div class="quote_poster">shapecity Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">I could never last in a long distance relationship. After awhile you run out of things to talk about because you aren't experiencing anything together. You end up getting bored with one another.</div>

Plus it can get really expensive. My buddy ran up his phone bill to $500+ and $600+ in two consequetive months.

 

[Sir Desmond]

<div class="quote_poster">Mel JBB Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">Plus it can get really expensive. My buddy ran up his phone bill to $500+ and $600+ in two consequetive months.</div>

Yeah I got on a cap specifically because of it.

 

[Chuck]

She did it before and it worked? Then why is she in another relationship?

 

[Sir Desmond]

<div class="quote_poster">Chuck Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">She did it before and it worked? Then why is she in another relationship?
</div>

I should have clarified. She was with someone for two years long distance before it ended, so by that 4-6 months shouldn't be a problem.

 

[Nasty]

Crucial question that needs to be answered here before we go any further:

Have you slept with her yet?

 

[Shard]

You should skeet in a condom or something and mail it to her and tell her to shove it up her vag. Then maybe she'll get pregnant and be forced to make it work.