Selling his stuff if he dies

[MARIS61]

One lazy Sunday morning a husband and wife were quiet and thoughtful, sitting around the breakfast table when the husband said to the wife unexpectedly, "When I die, I want you to sell all my stuff, immediately."


"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.


"I figure a woman as fine as yourself would eventually remarry and I don't want some other asshole using my stuff."


She looked at him intently and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?"

 

[3RA1N1AC]

i was talking to my buddy about freudian slips the other day, he said he had a good one

he said "i was going to ask a girl for a ticket to pittsburgh but i messed up and asked her for a picket to tittsburgh"

i said that was nothing, the other day i went to ask my wife to pass the milk but accidentally said "you stupid bitch you ruined my life!"

 

[MARIS61]

[video=youtube;lQi2V_UTMNQ]

 

[MARIS61]

I found out Basil's selling his stuff right now!

[video=youtube;2FXTpyFKd8Q]

 

[SlyPokerDog]

i was talking to my buddy about freudian slips the other day, he said he had a good one

he said "i was going to ask a girl for a ticket to pittsburgh but i messed up and asked her for a picket to tittsburgh"

i said that was nothing, the other day i went to ask my wife to pass the milk but accidentally said "you stupid bitch you ruined my life!"

I lol'd.

 

[Natebishop3]

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.

Hahahahahaha!