Re: That's what she said.
Here is a list of the great Office quotes for all. Michael Scott: I learned improv from the greats, like Drew Carey and Ryan Styles. Dwight Schrute: Dammit, he put my stapler in jello again! [Points to Michael] Dwight Schrute: You can be a witness to this. Jim Halpert: [eating jello] How do you know it was me? Michael Scott: This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell outta here. Michael Scott: I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends. I love everybody here. But sometimes your best friends start coming into work late and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments, and that is when it's nice to let them know that you could beat them up. Pam Beesley: The thing about Jim is... when he's excited about something- like the Office Olympics- he gets really into it and he does a really great job. But the problem with Jim is that he works here so... that hardly ever happens. Michael Scott: Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and... I have a great one. "Little Kid Lover". That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at. Oscar: Both my parents were born in Mexico, and they moved to the United States a year before I was born, so I grew up in the United States... my parents were Mexican. Michael Scott: Wow, that is a great story. That's the American dream right there, right? Um, let me ask you, is there a term besides 'Mexican' that you prefer? Something less offensive? Dwight Schrute: In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, "Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me and I'm dead." Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion, you're dead. Dwight Schrute: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will. Pam Beesley: Why would you wanna raise your cholesterol? Dwight Schrute: So I can lower it. Dwight Schrute: That's not entirely true, because he put me in charge of picking a healthcare plan. Jan Levinson-Gould: Really? Okay, when Michael gets back, you tell him to call me immediately. Dwight Schrute: Call you immediately, good. Hey listen, since I have you on the phone, um, can I fire Jim? Jan Levinson-Gould: No. Dwight Schrute: Number one: Inverted Penis. Meredith: Could you mean vagina? Cause if you do, I want that covered. Dwight Schrute: I thought your vagina was removed during your hysterectomy. Meredith: A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina. Jim Halpert: God, this is so sad, this is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to someone's head. Michael Scott: [trying to motivate an employee for the basketball game] You'll be like the dwarf that follows the wizard to the end of the earth in... uh... Lord of the Rings! Dwight Schrute: Gimli. Michael Scott: ...NERD. THAT's why you're not on the team.
