Funny Trump Suddenly Expresses Deep Concern About Conditions in Nation’s Prisons

[SlyPokerDog]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a sudden departure from his previous views on incarceration, Donald J. Trump said on Monday that he was “very, very concerned” about conditions in the nation’s prisons.

“These are very, very bad places,” Trump told reporters. “These are not places you would want to be.”

Trump criticized the “total lack of amenities” in the country’s federal penitentiaries, calling those prisons “a disgrace.”

“If you are locked up in one of those places, there is no TV in your cell,” he said. “And good luck getting a Diet Coke. You can yell and yell and no one will go get you one. It’s a very sad, very sick situation.”

In addition to blasting the conditions inside the nation’s prisons, Trump also questioned whether “putting someone in jail for one or two felonies serves any purpose.”

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately,” he said. “Prison solves nothing.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/bor...p-concern-about-conditions-in-nations-prisons

 

[Strenuus]

Two things:

He's gonna miss his Fox news and Coke when he gets in there.

And

He's a moron. You're in prison. Not a hotel

 

[riverman]

I can can yell for a diet coke from home and nobody gets me one....not that I'd drink that shit but Don's having prison fantasies...he must have been thinking...what would I miss the most if I'm Cohen's roommate?

 

[SlyPokerDog]

This was satire. Not a real article.

 

[riverman]

This was satire. Not a real article.

of course we all know prisons should be just like Trump tower with cable tv and room service...hopefully a putting green

 

[SlyPokerDog]

of course we all know prisons should be just like Trump tower with cable tv and room service...hopefully a putting green

 

[PtldPlatypus]

This was satire. Not a real article.

Why ruin the fun of watching people respond to it as though it were a legit quote?

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Why ruin the fun of watching people respond to it as though it were a legit quote?

You're right, my bad.

 

[CupWizier]

Why ruin the fun of watching people respond to it as though it were a legit quote?

Sad part is, it's not far off from reality.

 

[Strenuus]

DAMNIT, I just saw the "humor" line in the URL.

Thats the sad part, he'd say something like this.

 

[Chris Craig]

This was satire. Not a real article.

Like his presidency

 

[MARIS61]

This was satire. Not a real article.

In the Fake News Media, everything is satire whether intended or not.

Real articles no longer exist, and our public schools stopped teaching the meaning of satire decades ago, which is why half the posters here think this is real, even after you explained it.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

In the Fake News Media, everything is satire whether intended or not.

Real articles no longer exist, and our public schools stopped teaching the meaning of satire decades ago, which is why half the posters here think this is real, even after you explained it.

Maybe you should learn what irony is before you criticize others for not knowing what satire is.

Because you saying real articles no longer exist with the stuff you post is.... ironic.

 

[Chris Craig]

 

[riverman]

In the Fake News Media, everything is satire whether intended or not.

See Maris...you can shut out all media, really just shut it off and only read the words of Trump ...then see how it stacks up...see the satire..see the falsehoods...the promises...the walk backs...the lies..the cover ups....as I said...only the Trump quotes...tell me you end up inspired and filled with truth and pride then...if you do..oh well..there's a real lesson in fake speechifying to be found in Trump's narrative..for someone who wanted to drain a swamp, there's really never been a more partisan and politically slanted President without a grip on real facts in American history

 

[MarAzul]

Wow!

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Wow!

No worries, I'm sure you can mail Trump diet coke.

 

[Lanny]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a sudden departure from his previous views on incarceration, Donald J. Trump said on Monday that he was “very, very concerned” about conditions in the nation’s prisons.

“These are very, very bad places,” Trump told reporters. “These are not places you would want to be.”

Trump criticized the “total lack of amenities” in the country’s federal penitentiaries, calling those prisons “a disgrace.”

“If you are locked up in one of those places, there is no TV in your cell,” he said. “And good luck getting a Diet Coke. You can yell and yell and no one will go get you one. It’s a very sad, very sick situation.”

In addition to blasting the conditions inside the nation’s prisons, Trump also questioned whether “putting someone in jail for one or two felonies serves any purpose.”

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately,” he said. “Prison solves nothing.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/bor...p-concern-about-conditions-in-nations-prisons

LOL

 

[stampedehero]

He could direct architects to revise the wall blue prints to install a sally port to send our criminals to Mexico.

 

[stampedehero]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a sudden departure from his previous views on incarceration, Donald J. Trump said on Monday that he was “very, very concerned” about conditions in the nation’s prisons.

“These are very, very bad places,” Trump told reporters. “These are not places you would want to be.”

Trump criticized the “total lack of amenities” in the country’s federal penitentiaries, calling those prisons “a disgrace.”

“If you are locked up in one of those places, there is no TV in your cell,” he said. “And good luck getting a Diet Coke. You can yell and yell and no one will go get you one. It’s a very sad, very sick situation.”

In addition to blasting the conditions inside the nation’s prisons, Trump also questioned whether “putting someone in jail for one or two felonies serves any purpose.”

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately,” he said. “Prison solves nothing.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/bor...p-concern-about-conditions-in-nations-prisons

He may be expecting future moving plans.

 

[CupWizier]

In the Fake News Media, everything is satire whether intended or not.

Real articles no longer exist, and our public schools stopped teaching the meaning of satire decades ago, which is why half the posters here think this is real, even after you explained it.

Your post is fake news. There are many well written articles that are the truth. You just don't like it cause it paints a pretty ugly picture for your boy.

If (and I ain't buying it) that all news is fake then why do you continue to post fake articles in the forum?

 

[BonesJones]

This was satire. Not a real article.

Most of Trumps quotes read like satire. He's made it impossible to tell.

 

[BonesJones]

Your post is fake news. There are many well written articles that are the truth. You just don't like it cause it paints a pretty ugly picture for your boy.

If (and I ain't buying it) that all news is fake then why do you continue to post fake articles in the forum?

News MARIS dislikes = Fake.
News MARIS likes = Real.

 

[MarAzul]

News MARIS dislikes = Fake.
News MARIS likes = Real.

I would guess this is an attempt to insult.

 

[CupWizier]

I would guess this is an attempt to insult.

Insult? Try fact.

 

[MARIS61]

But it's true.

I like Real news.

I dislike Fake news.

Glad BJ gets it.