Forum Game Two Truths And A Lie

[Chris Craig]

For my dad may he rest in peace

• My dad was a gymnast
• My dad was born on an airforce base
• My dad in his lifetime visited all 50 states

• My dad was a bouncer
• My dad was a carny
• My dad was a member of the Magic Castle

• My dad worked in the Barnum and Bailey Circus
• My dad drove a Honda Gold Wing
• My dad and I both (separately) have stopped friends from getting hurt/killed by a large group of dudes.

• My dad was a locksmith
• My dad dove off the Venice pier in a straight jacket and chains
• My dad met Steve McQueen

• My dad worked on an oil rig
• My dad worked on the Exxon Valdez
• My dad's grandfather created what is today Orange Julius

My dad did not visit all 50 states. Most of them though. He hitchiked twice across the country when he was young. He was a gymnast and was good enough to qualify for the Olympics. He was born on Chanute Airforce base (now decommissioned) in Rantoul Illinois.

My dad was not a bouncer. He was a carny. Thats actually how my parents met. My dad ran the the Twister and my mom ran the kiddy rides. A cop once mistook My dad's ride for a kiddy ride and actually said, "nice kiddy ride." My dad offered him a free ride. It was a gas powered ride and it went fast. He put the cop in the fastest car and gave him the ride of his life. He later brought his cop buddies to my dad's ride.

My dad was a member of the Magic Castle. He was doing Magic at a bar and a member who was there invited him to the castle. (you have to be invited to get in). When you walk in there is a room of bookshelves and you actually have to say open sesame and a hidden door opens into the castle. My dad had to do a magic show to get in. He did various tricks and called up several different spectators out of a full room. Afterwards, the main judge came up and asked, "How did you do that?" To which my dad asked, "what?". He said, "Everyone of the spectators you called up was a secret judge deciding on your admission." My dad replied simply, "Magic." He got in.

My dad did work in the Barnum and Bailey Circus. He took care of the lions. He never owned a gold wing. He was a Harley guy. We both have saved friends from getting beat up or worse by a large group of guys by putting our friend behind us and saying, "There will be no fighting."

My dad was a locksmith. My dad did dive off the venice pier in a straight jacket and chains. He actually did it two separate times as an escape. He was successful both attempts. The lifeguards were not happy with him.

My dad never met Steve McQueen. My mother did. She used to be babysat by the same lady that babysat Steve McQueens kids.

My dad worked on an oil rig in the gulf coast. He also worked on the exxon valdez when the spill happened.

My dad's grandfather did not create the predecessor of Orange Julius. My mother's grandfather did. He created Orange Winzet and later sold it to a company that renamed it Orange Julius.

 

[Hoopguru]

My dad did not visit all 50 states. Most of them though. He hitchiked twice across the country when he was young. He was a gymnast and was good enough to qualify for the Olympics. He was born on Chanute Airforce base (now decommissioned) in Rantoul Illinois.

My dad was not a bouncer. He was a carny. Thats actually how my parents met. My dad ran the the Twister and my mom ran the kiddy rides. A cop once mistook My dad's ride for a kiddy ride and actually said, "nice kiddy ride." My dad offered him a free ride. It was a gas powered ride and it went fast. He put the cop in the fastest car and gave him the ride of his life. He later brought his cop buddies to my dad's ride.

My dad was a member of the Magic Castle. He was doing Magic at a bar and a member who was there invited him to the castle. (you have to be invited to get in). When you walk in there is a room of bookshelves and you actually have to say open sesame and a hidden door opens into the castle. My dad had to do a magic show to get in. He did various tricks and called up several different spectators out of a full room. Afterwards, the main judge came up and asked, "How did you do that?" To which my dad asked, "what?". He said, "Everyone of the spectators you called up was a secret judge deciding on your admission." My dad replied simply, "Magic." He got in.

My dad did work in the Barnum and Bailey Circus. He took care of the lions. He never owned a gold wing. He was a Harley guy. We both have saved friends from getting beat up or worse by a large group of guys by putting our friend behind us and saying, "There will be no fighting."

My dad was a locksmith. My dad did dive off the venice pier in a straight jacket and chains. He actually did it two separate times as an escape. He was successful both attempts. The lifeguards were not happy with him.

My dad never met Steve McQueen. My mother did. She used to be babysat by the same lady that babysat Steve McQueens kids.

My dad worked on an oil rig in the gulf coast. He also worked on the exxon valdez when the spill happened.

My dad's grandfather did not create the predecessor of Orange Julius. My mother's grandfather did. He created Orange Winzet and later sold it to a company that renamed it Orange Julius.

Your dad sounds like really neat guy!
My pops been gone for a few years and I still miss and admire him.

 

[barfo]

My pops been gone for a few years and I still miss and admire him.

It's hard to guess which of those three statements is false, but obviously one must be, given the rules of the game.

barfo

 

[Chris Craig]

Your dad sounds like really neat guy!
My pops been gone for a few years and I still miss and admire him.

He was a cool dude

 

[Lanny]

Wrong-o. I stumped you guys.

I did property surveys for both Turner and Star. Never the Fox News lady, but she is from WY. Didn’t meet Turner but I got to meet Jeffree Star. Pretty nice guy.

What am I, chopped liver? We always invite guys working for us in for a cup of coffee or give them some refreshment or give them each enough money to go buy lunch. On a few occasions my wife has fixed them lunch and she makes a delicious lunch..

 

[Chris Craig]

I’m a billionaire!

I can palm an NBA ball.

I’ve eaten many animals uncooked.

You're not a billionaire. Monopoly money doesn't count.

 

[Lanny]

You're not a billionaire. Monopoly money doesn't count.

Does too. What are you doing trying to make me a pauper?

 

[Lanny]

I lived in VN (still have residence there, so it counts). I'm worth several billions Vietnamese dongs (VN currency, not schlongs... although...)!

Hey there, youngster, I've got more schlong than the rest of you put together and I'm tired of lugging it around.

 

[Lanny]

You do know schlong is not nose hair?

What? Says who?

 

[Chris Craig]

Hey there, youngster, I've got more schlong than the rest of you put together and I'm tired of lugging it around.

Do your balls hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier? Do your balls hang low?

 

[stampedehero]

I’m a billionaire!

I can palm an NBA ball.

I’ve eaten many animals uncooked.

I can palm an NBA ball.~ Small handed millionaires often eat exotic animals.

 

[Lanny]

Do your balls hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier? Do your balls hang low?

Yep, balls and schlong.

 

[Chris Craig]

Yep, balls and schlong.

Mr Fantastic?



Stretch Armstrong?

 

[stampedehero]

My lie was I can palm an NBA ball. I can't. I'm 1.87m and has fairly large hands with strong grip, but I can't palm a basketball with my arms extended (I can when my arms are close in and bent). My wife thinks it's because the bones in my hands never healed correctly causing my hands to have weak grip at certain angles.

I can grip an NBA ball when it's deflated.

 

[Lanny]

My lie was I can palm an NBA ball. I can't. I'm 1.87m and has fairly large hands with strong grip, but I can't palm a basketball with my arms extended (I can when my arms are close in and bent). My wife thinks it's because the bones in my hands never healed correctly causing my hands to have weak grip at certain angles.

When I was in Korea and in my wife's home town of Taegu, we were visiting an open air market to buy me a traditional Korean suit and buy something to bring home to eat. Along our tour thru the market this Korean man, who looked somewhat like odd job in Sean Connery's Goldfinger, walked up to me and stuck his had out to shake. Well, what the hell, I'm a friendly guy so I took his hand to shake it. He clamped down on my hand like an industrial vice. His hand was massive like a catcher's mitt. I couldn't break free. Then he wanted to see my glasses which I denied in fear that he would destroy the only glasses I had with me on that trip. He hung onto my hand relentlessly for what must have been 15 to 20 minutes. A lot of shop owners started chatting to each other relentlessly. Later, much later, my wife said they were saying someone help this American man. Even they knew I was in trouble. One beefy Korean came over and tried to pull us apart but he couldn't. After a while my tormentor left and my wife and I went to the nearest hard liquor bar where I had two or three stiff drinks just to settle my nerves. I sure could've used you. We figure that he thought my wife was a rented wife just for my vacation. He should have seen my wedding ring.

 

[Lanny]

I can grip an NBA ball when it's deflated.

I can put my mouth around an NBA ball . . . when it's deflated

 

[stampedehero]

I can put my mouth around an NBA ball . . . when it's deflated

That's Guinness record material.