Recent content by Ha Seung-Boumtje-Boumjte

Oh wow. Over the Willamette? Falls underneath? My god, what a brilliant, never-before-conceived idea. Thank you so much for your totally helpful sarcasm — I had no idea that suggesting a dramatic riverfront arena meant I was actually proposing a floating space station powered by bald eagle...

Yeah, I know Red Tail neighbors threw a hissy fit about the baseball thing—but let’s not pretend a baseball stadium with 81 games and zero planning is the same as a sleek, 18,000-seat arena with Nike backing and year-round concerts, hoops, and events. Totally different beast. You add in...

Why bother prying open the broken-ass wallet of Multnomah County or kissing the ring of the Portland City Council? The Moda Center’s NE Portland digs are a crime‑ridden shithole, traffic’s a nightmare, and every public‑fund request gets chewed up by sanctimonious committee theater. Fuck that...

That’s cute. That’s like saying your dentist “supposedly” wants to start a ska band—neat in theory, totally irrelevant when someone’s knocking at your door with leverage and a crowbar. Let’s get real: nobody is giving L.A. a clean stack of expiring deals and anything else of value for LeBron...

I have a Blazer Surprise for you, Mr. BonesJones. Let’s take a little stroll through the garden of logic, shall we? You’ve responded to Natebishop3’s point — which, mind you, is based on the very real state of the roster as it currently exists — by assuming future moves that haven’t happened...

The short, boring answer is: no, not usually. Most bots don’t just go around clicking “like” on random threads like a lonely guy refreshing Tinder at 2 a.m. Bots are programmed with specific parameters — respond to this keyword, monitor that user, flag this kind of content, etc. They’re digital...

Absolutely, I’d be happy to explain how Deni’s Bird rights play into this — though I have to say, I’m frankly shocked this even needs to be clarified. The idea that Deni doesn’t have full, unambiguous rights to his birds — both in terms of ownership and airspace regulation — is a grotesque...

Every team is out here moving pieces like Bobby Fischer on bath salts, and Joe Cronin’s sitting in a flotation tank whispering about “internal growth” while his cap sheet looks like a busted Excel file printed on a tortilla. And meanwhile, Rob Pelinka is pacing the halls in L.A., sweating...

You see, in Hansen Yang’s worldview—likely shaped by deep Confucian rotational ethics and perhaps even ancestral whispers from the late Qing dynasty—a teammate wearing a headband carries an unspoken Mandate of Heaven. To don the headband is not simply a fashion choice—it is a sacred oath of...

Apologies for the silence—I had to take a shit. Not a metaphor. Just a real, gnarly, time-stopping, philosophical piece of shit. I'm back now. Let's proceed.

There’s a man—perhaps a prophet, perhaps just a guy named Barry—who lives in the vents beneath the Moda Center. He hums Rasheed-era defensive sets into the ducts and once whispered this to me in a language that sounded like Rick Adelman chewing taffy: “Would you trade Jerami Grant and Deni...

Chris Paul is a Hall of Fame irritant. A wizard of the well-placed elbow, a conductor of crotch carnage. This man has been quietly—and sometimes not so quietly—attacking the groin area of his opponents since Wake Forest. Who can forget 2005, when young Chris introduced Julius Hodge’s family...

Scoot needs the rock. Needs the leash. Needs to learn how to drive the Ferrari and crash it into a fire hydrant. With Anfernee soaking up usage and floating through defensive possessions like he’s above lateral movement, it’s hard to build the on-ball reps—and the culture—that a young team...

Standing 6'11" with fluid footwork and a high release, Jabari's shooting profile projects as ideal next to a rim-centric big like Donovan Clingan or as a small-ball center. His ability to space the floor opens crucial real estate for Scoot Henderson’s downhill game, while his defensive mobility...

Nate Bishop. There he goes again. Casually tossing out, “I never wanted him on our team,” like that’s not the most pathological lie since “I only watch Duke games during March Madness.” Brother, you’ve never stopped watching Grayson Allen. Let’s be honest. This isn’t about basketball. This is...