A friend called and wants to borrow some pee from me

[SlyPokerDog]

to pass a drug test for a job he just got. I thought they had ways of testing for this now. I have no problem giving him my pee but I was just wondering if this will even work.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

I'd tell him to fuck off.

Don't think it'd work, unless its a really shitty lab. They're pretty good about it though I believe.

 

[RR7]

You should smoke a whole bunch of pot, and then do it.

 

[ABM]

to pass a drug test for a job he just got. I thought they had ways of testing for this now. I have no problem giving him my pee but I was just wondering if this will even work.

Don't do it!

Tell him to mind his own pees and cues.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Don't do it!

Tell him to mind his own pees and cues.

Very funny but when are you coming over to pick up the pee?

 

[MARIS61]

It will work if he knows what he's doing.

Drug testing is the chief cause of incompetent people who use hard drugs (or who use no drugs) being hired over more competent people who smoke marijuana.

It's why American workers are no longer the cream of the crop.

On the bright side, it has influenced a surge in entreprenourship and attempts to start small businesses rather than giving in to un-Constitutional searches and illegal blacklisting by employers.

 

[Colonel Ronan]

Yes, it works assuming he knows what he's doing.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

It will work if he knows what he's doing.

Drug testing is the chief cause of incompetent people who use hard drugs (or who use no drugs) being hired over more competent people who smoke marijuana.

It's why American workers are no longer the cream of the crop.

On the bright side, it has influenced a surge in entreprenourship and attempts to start small businesses rather than giving in to un-Constitutional searches and illegal blacklisting by employers.

I am thinking that lower paying jobs are the ones that regularly drug test. Warehouse type jobs, manual labor. Some lower level office jobs.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

I am thinking that lower paying jobs are the ones that regularly drug test. Warehouse type jobs, manual labor. Some lower level office jobs.

LOL! That's not true at all. I know doctors and lawyers who have had to take pee tests as a condition of employment.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

Sure, docs do for sure. Lawyers? Once you're up there, I don't think it matters all that much. At higher level positions, you don't apply for the jobs, the people look for you and drug tests are usually barriers to discourage addicts from applying and weeding out those types.


But things like working at Target, the grocery store, etc...most probably require drug tests.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Sure, docs do for sure. Lawyers? Once you're up there, I don't think it matters all that much. At higher level positions, you don't apply for the jobs, the people look for you and drug tests are usually barriers to discourage addicts from applying and weeding out those types.


But things like working at Target, the grocery store, etc...most probably require drug tests.

It all depends on the requirements of the insurance company who covers the business or organization. Drug testing all new employees could be a requirement by them and not by the employer themselves.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

perhaps. but larger corporations who employ low skilled workers are probably more likely to drug test. I think the reasoning is that drug users are more likely to be bad employees and steal, and at lower paying jobs that is more probable.

 

[cdub503]

ive heard fake pee is the way to go but i wouldnt know since my piss is probably the cleanest this side of the mississippi river

 

[Run BJM]

I've given my piss to friends who were on probation out of juvie before, it works just fine. I'm sure they have ways of testing whose pee is whose but I'm also sure they're not going to pay for any extra shit that they don't have to.

And yeah I've been pee tested several times and all for low level retail jobs. They also piss test you after you get injured at work and try to file a workerman's comp form and if you come back positive they'll try to argue that you were high at work.

Make sure the guy swears not to rat on you though. When I gave my pee to friends on probation they had a proby officer in the room with them watching them piss and somehow snuck the piss out and got it in the cup without the proby noticing. Junkies are capable of amazing things lol. Typically when I've pee tested for jobs you get relative privacy and it'd be easy to just whip out a container of piss and pour it into the cup. If hes new tell him to consider the use of a turkey baster or tie up a condom if necessary.

 

[jlprk]

Try my method. I always tell my guard, "Have some decency and look away while I pee." Another tip--do it sitting on the toilet and put your hands in there as if you're steering the flow. The toilet will hide what you're doing, filling the cup with the fake pee.

Also, word around the yard is they make fake pee in Columbia. It's high quality stuff.

 

[ehizzy3]

yeah it will work if he keeps it at the right temperature...i don't know the exact temperature it has to be on hand, but it's like 92-100 or something like that. they have fake pee with hand warmers that keep it the right temp.

 

[MickZagger]

I work for UPS and even drivers don't even get piss tested.

Also, I don't think most lawyers get tested. My lawyer is a washed up hippie that I can tell is stoned all the time and I ran into him at Acrop once. Helluva guy.

 

[Rodolfo]

I've done one pee test. Seems like it's all mouth swabs these days though?

 

[BlazersBlood]

[video=youtube;jyrl1G6MUz0]

 

[andalusian]

I usually would be against it, but since you said "borrow" - that implies you will get your pee back, which really puts it in a different light!

 

[julius]

Do it at his house, and leave a Upper Decker in ABM's toilet tank.

 

[Denny Crane]

If you fail the piss test, I guess all you can hope for is to be a realtor.

In any case, if he borrows your pee, make sure you get it back.

 

[ucatchtrout]

He wants pee?
Give him shit.

 

[MARIS61]

I am thinking that lower paying jobs are the ones that regularly drug test. Warehouse type jobs, manual labor. Some lower level office jobs.

Exactly. Jobs where there is no legal reason (public safety, national security...) to do so. It's simply another tool of warfare against the common man to keep him down. All members of the senate and the house, the President and his staff, the military and law enforcement agencies should be tested if the purported reason for testing was really the guide, but they are not, except for some very low-level members. Any non-voluntary testing of any sort is wholly un-Constitutional at any rate, regardless of the excuse.

 

[MARIS61]

I work for UPS and even drivers don't even get piss tested.

Also, I don't think most lawyers get tested. My lawyer is a washed up hippie that I can tell is stoned all the time and I ran into him at Acrop once. Helluva guy.

Does his name happen to be Denny Crane?

 

[MARIS61]

I work for UPS and even drivers don't even get piss tested.

Thank your union for defending your Constitutional rights.

 

[barfo]

At my job we get tested as a group. We all pee into one big jar, and if the sample passes, cool, if not, we all get fired.

barfo

 

[illmatic99]

I'm surprised so many of you guys are so knowledgeable about this.

 

[MickZagger]

I'm surprised so many of you guys are so knowledgeable about this.

We live in the Pac NW. I thought everybody smokes pot every once in awhile out here.

I'm sorry you live in Philly and have to put up with that beaster weed.

 

[Colonel Ronan]

How long is he borrowing it for?