Bill Simmons Draft Diary: Blazer items

[PtldPlatypus]

A few interesting comments in here. Simmons was exceedingly complimentary to KP at several points.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/100625

4:34:.... Speaking of cruel, Portland fired GM Kevin Pritchard an hour before the draft. Hey, he's only a top-seven GM -- there are plenty of those. Does anyone else think Al Davis died a year ago and took over Paul Allen's body?

5:48: Our "draft capologist" Tom Penn (the former assistant Blazers GM) explains how New Orleans got under the cap by dumping Peterson's body. Er, contract. I'm pretty sure I could have been our draft capologist while doing this diary and wearing jogging pants in my house. Why wasn't this job posted by HR? I would have applied!

6:05: The T-Wolves take a second forward (Nevada's Luke Babbitt) at No. 16. On the plus side: He was a 50-40-90 guy in college. On the minus side: They're already horrible defensively, and now they're taking someone who can't guard anyone and putting him in front of two undersized big guys who can't block shots or protect him. I'm feeling a trade. Kahn's been quiet. He's like an earthquake -- he hits when you least expect it.

6:16: ... Meanwhile, Ric Bucher reports on another deal: Martell Webster to Minnesota, Ryan Gomes and Luke Babbitt to Portland. I knew it! Gotta say, nice move by Kahn! I'm a Webster fan. Good character guy, good defender, type of guy Minnesota needed.

6:38: As if Portland fans weren't bummed out enough about their owner losing his mind and firing an excellent GM, the ESPN guys just had an extended "What the hell is happening in Portland?" and "Will Greg Oden ever be healthy?" conversation. This is why they don't allow me on studio shows -- because I absolutely would have made the "If the NBA doesn't work out for Oden, he can always go into porn … I mean, did you SEE that thing, Jeff?" joke, followed by an unblinking Van Gundy staring at me for 20 solid seconds.

6:43: Our past three picks: Craig Brackins to New Orleans (some slight Carl Landry sleeper potential); Elliot Williams to Portland (blah), Trevor Booker to Minnesota (our first senior!). Can't get over the fact that Pritchard -- fired earlier in the day -- is still running Portland's draft. If I were him, I'd be in Portland's war room loudly calling other GMs and saying things like, "I have an offer for you: I'll trade you our No. 23 pick, and in return, YOU HELP ME PULL THE F****** KNIFE OUT OF MY BACK!!!!! Do we have a deal????"

 

[mook]

Meh, Simmons is usually a little wittier than this.

 

[BrianFromWA]

and he's wrong about Penn and the cap. NOH got under Luxury Tax, not the cap.

 

[BrianFromWA]

6:38: As if Portland fans weren't bummed out enough about their owner losing his mind and firing an excellent GM, the ESPN guys just had an extended "What the hell is happening in Portland?" and "Will Greg Oden ever be healthy?" conversation. This is why they don't allow me on studio shows -- because I absolutely would have made the "If the NBA doesn't work out for Oden, he can always go into porn … I mean, did you SEE that thing, Jeff?" joke, followed by an unblinking Van Gundy staring at me for 20 solid seconds.

And yet, that might've been LESS awkward than when Ron Jeremy came on and spent 5 minutes going back-and-forth between crappily trying to bust on his brother and Jon Barry, ending up with "Brent Barry's a pretty man"

 

[OddEnormous]

"good defender"

Um...

 

[MrSelfDestruct]

And yet, that might've been LESS awkward than when Ron Jeremy came on and spent 5 minutes going back-and-forth between crappily trying to bust on his brother and Jon Barry, ending up with "Brent Barry's a pretty man"

Oh man, I'm glad I'm not the only one who found that exchange incredibly awkward.

 

[Ed O]

Meh, Simmons is usually a little wittier than this.

He is? This is the first stuff of his I've read in a while, and it seems... the same. :|

Ed O.

 

[alex42083]

And yet, that might've been LESS awkward than when Ron Jeremy came on and spent 5 minutes going back-and-forth between crappily trying to bust on his brother and Jon Barry, ending up with "Brent Barry's a pretty man"

hahaha.. yeah, I was watching the draft with some friends and we all looked at each other afterward and said, "hmm.. the interview at first got off to a good start but by the end... wow, did that get really awkward."

 

[BGrantFan]

and he's wrong about Penn and the cap. NOH got under Luxury Tax, not the cap.

LOL

That's funny!

 

[BLAZER PROPHET]

"good defender"

Um...

Yes, a good defender.

 

[Luther]

Gotta say, nice move by Kahn! I'm a Webster fan. Good character guy, good defender, type of guy Minnesota needed

Weird. The rest of the league thinks Kahn got "fleeced" by our management. I really like Webster but this is an extremely lopsided deal.