Candid Roy interview with MB-- sigh of relief

[MickZagger]

Can we make fun of herpes?

I had chlamydia once.

 

[Elvin Jones]

I'm not taking sides, and I don't know any of the backstory, but it's safe to say:

- These two have a history
- Don't joke about kids' illnesses

I'd ask Barfo to make a no-strings-attached apology, for BGrant to accept, and then we can all herp and derp like we want to.

 

[BGrantFan]

Can we make fun of herpes?

Of course. Or, are you equating herpes to Lupus?

If so, then go fuck yourself.

 

[Elvin Jones]

Of course. Or, are you equating herpes to Lupus?

If so, then go fuck yourself.

*sigh

And the world turns...

 

[Natebishop3]

Of course. Or, are you equating herpes to Lupus?

If so, then go fuck yourself.

How could I equate herpes to lupas?

 

[Minstrel]

I'm not taking sides, and I don't know any of the backstory, but it's safe to say:

- These two have a history
- Don't joke about kids' illnesses

I think the point barfo is trying to make is that he wasn't making a joke about a child's illness. BGrantFan took it that way (which, I suppose, is understandable on some level as any parent would be extra sensitive to an issue that affects their child) but that doesn't mean barfo meant it that way.

I don't think apologies are in order, in either direction. It would be nice if everyone could recognize that communication is rife for misunderstandings, that the way one person takes something is not necessarily the way another meant it and to generally try to accept when another person tells you what his/her intent was, rather than telling them what their intent really was.

 

[BGrantFan]

I think the point barfo is trying to make is that he wasn't making a joke about a child's illness. BGrantFan took it that way (which, I suppose, is understandable on some level as any parent would be extra sensitive to an issue that affects their child) but that doesn't mean barfo meant it that way.

I don't think apologies are in order, in either direction. It would be nice if everyone could recognize that communication is rife for misunderstandings, that the way one person takes something is not necessarily the way another meant it and to generally try to accept when another person tells you what his/her intent was, rather than telling them what their intent really was.

There is no misunderstanding the following.

1) barfo makes a Lupus/House joke yesterday
2) I, in an admittedly overly sensitive manner, take issue and tell barfo about my daughter's illness.
3) I wake up this morning, see a new thread about Brandon Roy, and the second post in the thread is by barfo, saying that Roy will die of Lupus.
4) This is mere hours after I tell him about my daughter, so he obviously took that into consideration when posting it.

Fuck it. That's just not funny, and I think it was deliberate. His evasiveness since that post only reinforces my opinion on that post, as well as his shitty PM responses that you read yourself.

Keep defending that shit, Minstrel, but I really did think you were better than that.

 

[Minstrel]

Fuck it. That's just not funny, and I think it was deliberate.

If he did it with your daughter in mind, then yes, it's not funny. From what I know about barfo over all these years that I've seen him post, it doesn't seem likely to me that he was aiming the comment at you or your daughter.

You think it was deliberate. I think that it probably wasn't.

Keep defending that shit, Minstrel, but I really did think you were better than that.

Better than what? I wouldn't defend it if I agreed with you that it was deliberate. I simply don't agree with you.

 

[BGrantFan]

If he did it with your daughter in mind, then yes, it's not funny. From what I know about barfo over all these years that I've seen him post, it doesn't seem likely to me that he was aiming the comment at you or your daughter.

You think it was deliberate. I think that it probably wasn't.



Better than what? I wouldn't defend it if I agreed with you that it was deliberate. I simply don't agree with you.

Well, if he didn't consider it, given my history with him, then he is stupid. Another Lupus post, this time about death, hours after I tell him about my daughter? If he is that dumb, he probably should not have moderating abilities on such an active site.

If he did consider it, then he is disgusting and petty. I go with this option, because I don't think he is stupid.

That's how I see it.

 

[Minstrel]

Well, if he didn't consider it, given my history with him, then he is stupid. Another Lupus post, this time about death, hours after I tell him about my daughter? If he is that dumb, he probably should not have moderating abilities on such an active site.

If he did consider it, then he is disgusting and petty. I go with this option, because I don't think he is stupid.

That's how I see it.

I think it's probably neither. He probably just didn't care. While that sounds bad, what I mean by that is this:

Do you feel that your revealing your daughter's illness should remove lupus as a possible subject of jokes from this forum? (As a parent who's child is afflicted by it, I could understand if you said yes.) Generalizing that, do you feel that any illness should be prohibited from joking matter because someone might have a loved one suffering from the illness used? Again, I think a "yes" answer would be reasonable. I'm not asking sarcastically, as if the answers should be obvious.

What I'm getting at is, what should be the functional result of your revealing of your daughter's illness? Should the functional result be taking lupus off the table?

How does this relate to barfo? My guess is that he does not believe it takes lupus off the table.

I think it's a complicated question with no clearly right answer. But I don't think barfo was directing the joke AT your daughter, nor do I think he's stupid. I think he simply doesn't feel that you have the right to make that subject matter a prohibited one from jokes.

Of course, if I'm way off, barfo can always come along and say so. I mostly threw this out there because I think it highlights that issues regarding fairly public forums are pretty complicated.

 

[barfo]

I think it's probably neither. He probably just didn't care. While that sounds bad, what I mean by that is this:

Do you feel that your revealing your daughter's illness should remove lupus as a possible subject of jokes from this forum? (As a parent who's child is afflicted by it, I could understand if you said yes.) Generalizing that, do you feel that any illness should be prohibited from joking matter because someone might have a loved one suffering from the illness used? Again, I think a "yes" answer would be reasonable. I'm not asking sarcastically, as if the answers should be obvious.

What I'm getting at is, what should be the functional result of your revealing of your daughter's illness? Should the functional result be taking lupus off the table?

How does this relate to barfo? My guess is that he does not believe it takes lupus off the table.

I think it's a complicated question with no clearly right answer. But I don't think barfo was directing the joke AT your daughter, nor do I think he's stupid. I think he simply doesn't feel that you have the right to make that subject matter a prohibited one from jokes.

Of course, if I'm way off, barfo can always come along and say so. I mostly threw this out there because I think it highlights that issues regarding fairly public forums are pretty complicated.

Minstrel naturally says it better than I ever could.

Unfortunately, disease and death is just part of the deal here on earth. I've certainly had more than my share recently. It's too bad that PapaG's daughter has health problems, and I do wish it were otherwise, but I'm very sure my jokes don't make her condition worse.

barfo

 

[THE HCP]

What IS lupus?

 

[Natebishop3]

What IS lupus?

 

[Elvin Jones]

If I may...

I find it extraordinarily unlikely that, if I told someone I had a disease that's not in the "first tier" of public recognition (AIDS, cancer, MS, etc.) and is therefore less likely to be used at random, and they went on to reference that disease 24 hours later, there would be NO CONNECTION between my telling that person I had a disease, and their reference of the disease.

I just find that really unlikely.

I believe that there is some unspecific amount of time that should pass before you could reasonably claim that your joke about (or reference to) that disease, in this situation, was independent of my informing you of the disease I suffered from. I also think that "unspecific amount of time" is probably longer than a single day.

Those are my two cents.

 

[barfo]

If I may...

I find it extraordinarily unlikely that, if I told someone I had a disease that's not in the "first tier" of public recognition (AIDS, cancer, MS, etc.) and is therefore less likely to be used at random, and they went on to reference that disease 24 hours later, there would be NO CONNECTION between my telling that person I had a disease, and their reference of the disease.

I just find that really unlikely.

I believe that there is some unspecific amount of time that should pass before you could reasonably claim that your joke about (or reference to) that disease, in this situation, was independent of my informing you of the disease I suffered from. I also think that "unspecific amount of time" is probably longer than a single day.

Those are my two cents.

I don't disagree, however the sequence of events here is different: first I made a joke, then PapaG told us about his daughter, then I made another joke which was in fact a continuation of the first joke.

barfo

 

[Elvin Jones]

I don't disagree, however the sequence of events here is different: first I made a joke, then PapaG told us about his daughter, then I made another joke which was in fact a continuation of the first joke.

barfo

Ah, I see.

Well, we have a classic case of "two people saying two different things happened." I obviously can't make a judgment. When there's a tie, I like to assume the best... so my uneducated assumption is that there was no malicious intent.

*bangs gavel