Funny Chuck Norris Jokes

[ABM]

As a birthday gift from our brother-in-law, my wife received one of those little Chuck Norris daily-peel-off calendars.

She's always had a little girl crush on the dude, and pretty much infatuated with anything CN-related. Anyway, she reads these little isms to me whenever I'm around for the daily peel-off event. Lucky me. Although, some of them are actually pretty funny.

I decided to do a little search for CN jokes and found this so-called Internet Chcuk Norris Database. Go figure.

http://www.icndb.com/the-jokes-2/

I suppose many of you know a CN joke or meme. If so, feel free to post here. My wife will love you for it. Heh.

 

[Chris Craig]

 

[Chris Craig]

 

[Chris Craig]

 

[julius]

As a birthday gift from our brother-in-law, my wife received one of those little Chuck Norris daily-peel-off calendars.

She's always had a little girl crush on the dude, and pretty much infatuated with anything CN-related. Anyway, she reads these little isms to me whenever I'm around for the daily peel-off event. Lucky me. Although, some of them are actually pretty funny.

I decided to do a little search for CN jokes and found this so-called Internet Chcuk Norris Database. Go figure.

http://www.icndb.com/the-jokes-2/

I suppose many of you know a CN joke or meme. If so, feel free to post here. My wife will love you for it. Heh.

Just out of curiosity....would "our" brother in law be your wives sisters husband, or your sisters husband?

 

[ABM]

Just out of curiosity....would "our" brother in law be your wives sisters husband, or your sisters husband?

Leave it to you to ask that question.

My wife's sister's husband.

 

[julius]

Leave it to you to ask that question.

My wife's sister's husband.

was more confused than anything.

 

[ABM]

was more confused than anything.

No worries. My wife's sister is 2 years older than her and has been whipping her Chuck Norris crap their entire adult lives.

As an aside, my wife asked me just this morning if we could get a Total Gym. I just gave her a blank stare.

 

[Chris Craig]

No worries. My wife's sister is 2 years older than her and has been whipping her Chuck Norris crap their entire adult lives.

As an aside, my wife asked me just this morning if we could get a Total Gym. I just gave her a blank stare.

And then said yes...

 

[Lanny]

And then said yes...

Nope, and then said yes dear.

 

[Mediocre Man]

Chuck Norris won Anerican Idol using sign language

 

[barfo]

Just out of curiosity....would "our" brother in law be your wives sisters husband, or your sisters husband?

He's from the south. Those are the same.

barfo

 

[ABM]

He's from the south. Those are the same.

barfo

Minor correction, though. Not "from" the South.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Papa Nurk > Chuck Norris.

 

[riverman]

I would tell a Chuck Norris joke but Bruce Lee used them all up already!

 

[ABM]

I once tried to use Chuck Norris as my password. The site said password too strong!

 

[riverman]

The one trick Chuck never mastered was unscrewing a lightbulb with his roundhouse kick. Truckloads of broken glass trying though!

 

[MarAzul]

The one trick chuck never mastered was unscrewing a lightbulb with his roundhouse kick. Truckloads of broken glass trying though!

 

[Mediocre Man]

God said "let there be light"

Chuck Norris said "say please"

 

[riverman]

Chuck Norris doesn't wear condoms because there's no protection from Chuck Norris

 

[riverman]

When Chuck Norris is doing a pushup, he isn't pushing himself up, he's pushing the earth down

 

[SheedSoNasty]

Chuck Norris doesn’t have sex. Sex has Chuck Norris.

 

[riverman]

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, problem was it just wouldn't take shit from anyone

 

[SheedSoNasty]

Chuck Norris scored a 2000 on his SAT by simply writing his name across the scantron.

 

[riverman]

Chuck Norris went skydiving and his chute failed to open....he returned it the next day for a full refund

 

[Titan]

Well since this is mostly a basketball forum. Here is something Chuck Norris and basketball related.

 

[riverman]

quality is terrible I know

 

[Hobbesarable]

As a birthday gift from our brother-in-law, my wife received one of those little Chuck Norris daily-peel-off calendars.

She's always had a little girl crush on the dude, and pretty much infatuated with anything CN-related. Anyway, she reads these little isms to me whenever I'm around for the daily peel-off event. Lucky me. Although, some of them are actually pretty funny.

I decided to do a little search for CN jokes and found this so-called Internet Chcuk Norris Database. Go figure.

http://www.icndb.com/the-jokes-2/

I suppose many of you know a CN joke or meme. If so, feel free to post here. My wife will love you for it. Heh.

Chuck Norris 'Facts!' were popular while I was attending Physics classes at Portland State. Those were good times, buddy!