crandc, you had better watch out

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Oh this is definitly true. It's more than Meowing and such too. I am really surprised that they haven't caught on to the fact that cat's use irritating sounds to get your attention too. Ever have a hungry cat that does stuff like rattles the blinds, or repeatedly thwacks a door jam, or opens and closes a dresser drawer in order to get what it wants?
 
Good lord, you think I don't know that? I am a very well trained human.

How well trained? I have a kitty door, but Orlando still scratches the front door. He knows he can get in through the cat door, he just wants me to get up.

God, what happens if we move? It took Orlando over a year to establish himself as alpha cat in the neighborhood. He has not gotten into fights since then, as the other cats figured out he's the biggest and won all the fights.

Now, he'll have to do it all over again.
 
I don't like cats. I even have a cat story.

When I was in the military, I was invited to go on a 2AM hunting trip (I'm not a hunter, but agreed to go). We all went to one of the guy's sister's house to sleep on the floor and get up early. We laid out our cold weather hunting suits and slept beside them. During the night the lady's cat shat (soft, messy one, too) in the shoulder of one of the suites (the lady's brother,actually). So, at 2AM, the alarm went off and we just sort of rolled into the hunting suites. This guy said he could feel the pile of goo immediately but was too tired to stop and ran his whole arm thru the mess. Calmly, he grabbed his shot gun, loaded it, found the cat outside on the sidewalk, and lieterally blew that thing into a thousand peices. His sister was pretty upset, but the penalty was justice, IMHO.
 
A few weeks back we get home from a ridiculous overnight road trip to my brother's house. In that trip, my 4 year old shit his pants about 7 times (I have no idea why). My 2 year decided to scream unremittingly for the final 45 minutes of the drive. I was just starting to come down with a cold I'm only now getting over.

We get home and all I can think about is getting the kids in bed and then crawling into bed (we'd changed the sheets right before leaving, and I find few things more satisfying than lying down on a freshly changed bed).

Wife and I wander into the bedroom, and Oswald, our idiotic white cat, is sprawled out on the wife's pillow. On the my pillow and oozing down the bed is a horrendous pile of cat vomit. The SOB just stares at me with this look that says, "You fucker. I've been looking at this puke all day. About time you showed up to clean it."

I fucking hate cats.
 
BLAZER PROPHET said:
I don't like cats. I even have a cat story.

When I was in the military, I was invited to go on a 2AM hunting trip (I'm not a hunter, but agreed to go). We all went to one of the guy's sister's house to sleep on the floor and get up early. We laid out our cold weather hunting suits and slept beside them. During the night the lady's cat shat (soft, messy one, too) in the shoulder of one of the suites (the lady's brother,actually). So, at 2AM, the alarm went off and we just sort of rolled into the hunting suites. This guy said he could feel the pile of goo immediately but was too tired to stop and ran his whole arm thru the mess. Calmly, he grabbed his shot gun, loaded it, found the cat outside on the sidewalk, and lieterally blew that thing into a thousand peices. His sister was pretty upset, but the penalty was justice, IMHO.
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Wow great story. That guy was pretty cool and not sadistic at all. What a great story of a soldier!
 
mook said:
A few weeks back we get home from a ridiculous overnight road trip to my brother's house. In that trip, my 4 year old shit his pants about 7 times (I have no idea why). My 2 year decided to scream unremittingly for the final 45 minutes of the drive. I was just starting to come down with a cold I'm only now getting over.

We get home and all I can think about is getting the kids in bed and then crawling into bed (we'd changed the sheets right before leaving, and I find few things more satisfying than lying down on a freshly changed bed).

Wife and I wander into the bedroom, and Oswald, our idiotic white cat, is sprawled out on the wife's pillow. On the my pillow and oozing down the bed is a horrendous pile of cat vomit. The SOB just stares at me with this look that says, "You fucker. I've been looking at this puke all day. About time you showed up to clean it."

I fucking hate cats.
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Yes, let us all hate cats.
 
crandc said:
Good lord, you think I don't know that? I am a very well trained human.

How well trained? I have a kitty door, but Orlando still scratches the front door. He knows he can get in through the cat door, he just wants me to get up.

God, what happens if we move? It took Orlando over a year to establish himself as alpha cat in the neighborhood. He has not gotten into fights since then, as the other cats figured out he's the biggest and won all the fights.

Now, he'll have to do it all over again.
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My cat is also the alpha of the block but recently his age has caught up with him. For a couple of weeks he was attacked constantly by this black tomcat. One night I saw him fighting with the cat so I slid open the back door and my dog (Lola) sprinted out the back and literally scared the shit out of the tomcat. Initially the tomcat was cocky and stood on the spot but once he realized it was a huge German Shepard sprinting towards him he darted off. I haven't seen Ralph get into any fights recently and it seems like she has taken control of the block again (a tabby cat named Maverick went missing a couple of days ago in the neighborhood).
 
Well...here's my opinion on the matter...just a minute, my cat's calling and I've gotta run.
 
Natebishop3 said:
No, my point is, the guy could be a cook in the Air Force and still be in the military. Doesn't make him a soldier.
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What if he were a cook in the Army, then would he be a "soldier?"
 
Natebishop3 said:
Technically, yes. Everyone in the Army is trained to fight.
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Are you really arguing semantics over this. Since he did not specify which part of the military I could not give a definitive term. Since citizens usually refer to members of military, regardless of which branch, as a soldier in place as a general term for them.

Allow me, however, to restate myself:

What a great story of a person under military employment!
 
The Sebastian Express said:
Are you really arguing semantics over this. Since he did not specify which part of the military I could not give a definitive term. Since citizens usually refer to members of military, regardless of which branch, as a soldier in place as a general term for them.

Allow me, however, to restate myself:

What a great story of a person under military employment!
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It isn't semantics. You automatically associated this brutal act towards the cat as "What a great story of a soldier!" I'm just trying to say, not everyone in the military is a "soldier." Do you consider a lawyer in the Navy who works for the JAG office, a soldier? Our military has countless jobs that have nothing to do with picking up a rifle or stepping foot on a battle field. He could have had any number of jobs which would fall under the military umbrella.

I apologize if you think I'm getting bent out of shape, but I work with a lot of guys who are National Guard or active duty US Army. I'm a member of the Civil Air Patrol, which is an auxiliary of the US Air Force. It's just a little harsh to generalize like that simply because he said he was in the military.
 
Anyone who hates cats deserves to be bitten by a rat. Preferably a rat carrying bubonic plague-infected fleas.
 
crandc said:
Anyone who hates cats deserves to be bitten by a rat. Preferably a rat carrying bubonic plague-infected fleas.
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Well I hate cats. Worthless, selfish animals- hey wait a minute, I just defined a husband.
 
I love my cat. She's the coolest cat ever. She pretty much acts like a dog.
 
We have two cats.

The girl is a wuss and a princess and won't dare step a foot outside.

Our neighbors call our male cat "cowboy" because he walks around the neighborhood with a swagger. In fact, he often goes into various neighbors homes to visit for a while, wanders upstairs, etc. I've never known another cat to do that.
 
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My cat Orlando likes water. He was only 5 months when he adopted me and I was living with 18 year old Rosalind, who has since gone on to her reward. Their energy levels were total opposites and Rosalind was going deaf. Orlando would sneak up behind her and pounce on her tail. Just playing but she got very startled. So I used a squirt gun when he did that. He was astonished at first, but quickly realized it was not hurting him, and decided it was good fun. (Orlando thinks everything, except going to the v.e.t., is fun.) Now he jumps in the shower and rolls on the wet tub, and when it rains he goes out to splash in puddles.

My other cats Rudy and Margot are more typical - a single droplet of water on their fur and they act like they've been burned with a red hot poker.
 
I love cats, and I love MY cats. They vomit on my floor. They meow in the middle of the night and wake me up. One of them jumps on my bed, gets down, jumps up, etc., until I get up and feed them. I rarely move them to make the bed if they're sleeping on it, even if I really need to change the bedding. Some chicks can't come back to my place because they start weezing upon entering the apartment.

My cats are awesome. They're a pain in the butt but I love them.

Ed O.
 
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