Notice Divorce

[SheedSoNasty]

currently going through the process. Have three small children... love them more than life itself.

Been the worst six months of my life... she hasn’t filed yet but I’ve been out of the house for about five months now. Seeing my kids part time has been absolute torture.

For those of you who have gone through this, help me in any way you can. Have been thinking of posting this for a while as I’ve been a member for so damn long but haven’t had the courage until tonight now that I’m good and drunk and alone. I hate my life.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

It will be alright. It's painful now but it will get better.

 

[andalusian]

Sorry to hear it man. Hope it is resolved soon and you start feeling better soon and get a resolution that gives you time with your kids in a satisfactory way.

 

[riverman]

Time bro....and love...kids will need extra doses of love and to see you without obvious pain...my divorce took 3 years to resolve and was a tough one. I got a second chance fortunately years later to marry the right person... My ex didn't make it easy at all...great fuel for playing the blues though...cell phones these days with facetime apps really help out

 

[SheedSoNasty]

Time bro....and love...kids will need extra doses of love and to see you without obvious pain...my divorce took 3 years to resolve and was a tough one. I got a second chance fortunately years later to marry the right person... My ex didn't make it easy at all...great fuel for playing the blues though...cell phones these days with facetime apps really help out

My kids have definitely been introduced to “crying dad” lately. It’s been bad. Thanks for your input.

 

[calvin natt]

I have not been through this but people very very close to me have. Torture is a good word. But they made it through fine. It takes time. You have three little kids so you have to think about what you want this to look like for their sake. You put on the best face possible for them and go ahead and let it out when you aren’t with them. Also, I would think seeing a therapist would be hugely important. Stay strong and positive.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

currently going through the process. Have three small children... love them more than life itself.

Been the worst six months of my life... she hasn’t filed yet but I’ve been out of the house for about five months now. Seeing my kids part time has been absolute torture.

For those of you who have gone through this, help me in any way you can. Have been thinking of posting this for a while as I’ve been a member for so damn long but haven’t had the courage until tonight now that I’m good and drunk and alone. I hate my life.

Don't be afraid to tell your kids the truth. They may be young but they need to hear that their mother is a Laker fan.

 

[KingSpeed]

Give us more details, Sheed. Why are you getting a divorce? My sister got a divorce and it was the best thing that ever happened to her. She was out of the bad relationship and then found someone who would have kids with her (the first guy wouldn't) and she had two beautiful children and is very happy. Regardless of the details, you are making space in your life for something wonderful and new.

 

[TorturedBlazerFan]

Not going to give you advice.
Just gonna say my heart feels for you. Seen so many divorces, it can really hurt, it can suck, and its absolutely ok to wear the emotions on your sleeve. The good news is in every season of our lives we can control ourselves and we can come out of it as better, stronger people.

 

[Chris Craig]

currently going through the process. Have three small children... love them more than life itself.

Been the worst six months of my life... she hasn’t filed yet but I’ve been out of the house for about five months now. Seeing my kids part time has been absolute torture.

For those of you who have gone through this, help me in any way you can. Have been thinking of posting this for a while as I’ve been a member for so damn long but haven’t had the courage until tonight now that I’m good and drunk and alone. I hate my life.

It is going to hurt. A lot. But it will get better. I seperated from my wife for awhile back in 2013. It was the hardest time of my life because all of the shit that was going on between us. My son was only 2. I was where you were, I hated my life. I got down on myself. I got drunk. But, it all turned out to be a blessing in disquise. I was able to grow as a person, as a man. My life is better for it. Things feel like shit now, but that will change. The pain will fade. Life will get good again. All I knew is I had to be strong for my son and to do the best for myself and him I could. Stay strong.

 

[PDXFonz]

currently going through the process. Have three small children... love them more than life itself.

Been the worst six months of my life... she hasn’t filed yet but I’ve been out of the house for about five months now. Seeing my kids part time has been absolute torture.

For those of you who have gone through this, help me in any way you can. Have been thinking of posting this for a while as I’ve been a member for so damn long but haven’t had the courage until tonight now that I’m good and drunk and alone. I hate my life.

I’ve never been through it aside from coming from a divorced home. So I’m not sure how much advice I can give but I will say this...

As someone who could be considered adverse to change, and have battled with events in my life which I did not have much control over. I constantly remind myself that things are always bigger/more glaring in their moment. We are creatures of habit, and changing said habit/routine can be difficult for all of us. Especially when that change means not being able to spend as much time with those who mean so much to us. Even though things may never be exactly the way you want them to be, they will eventually feel more routine - and you can find yourself becoming acclimated to the change at which point things may not seem as big as they did before you adjusted.

It’s a part of life for us to grow apart in our relationships with people. Children generally outlive their parents, friends move or grow apart, kids grow up and move out, sometimes partnerships don’t last. A lot of times this increase in distance is not what we want, and those are the times that they are tough.

I’m glad you decided to confide in us. Despite the extremely amusing, and sometimes confusing disagreements and back-and-forth’s that have gone on here; this place is overall full of welcoming and respect individuals. It can be nice to know that people have your back and will hope well for you.

So here’s to hoping things work out for you and your family in a way that works best for all involved parties.

 

[Further]

I'm a stepdad and although I hope time heals all for you, remember your kids are everything. I have had to deal with many issues regarding damage to my step daughters as a result of the divorce. Make sure your kids come first. Never diminish your ex-wife to your kids, and ask her to reciprocate. Also ask your parents, friends and family to never speak ill of your ex. Your ex is off limits when the children are around.

My wife never put down her ex (who deserved a lot of scorn) but he incessantly put down my wife directly to the kids. At first, it turned the kids against my wife for a time, but as they grew older they were able to piece together the truth and it has all backfired on their father now that the kids see through his lies. Don't fuck with your kids emotions and don't allow anyone else to do so.

As far as you are concerned, I wish you the best. But I'll let others give you advice on how you can overcome.

 

[stampedehero]

currently going through the process. Have three small children... love them more than life itself.

Been the worst six months of my life... she hasn’t filed yet but I’ve been out of the house for about five months now. Seeing my kids part time has been absolute torture.

For those of you who have gone through this, help me in any way you can. Have been thinking of posting this for a while as I’ve been a member for so damn long but haven’t had the courage until tonight now that I’m good and drunk and alone. I hate my life.

My son went through it. He wanted a family but seeing his son part time defined how much he loved him. There is no win with the ex as she is a narcistic unforgiving woman. His vow is to his own. He devotes himself to his son as I'm sure you will with your kids.

 

[3RA1N1AC]

Try to focus on securing your financial sustainability, and getting laid. It’ll be over in no time.

 

[CupWizier]

currently going through the process. Have three small children... love them more than life itself.

Been the worst six months of my life... she hasn’t filed yet but I’ve been out of the house for about five months now. Seeing my kids part time has been absolute torture.

For those of you who have gone through this, help me in any way you can. Have been thinking of posting this for a while as I’ve been a member for so damn long but haven’t had the courage until tonight now that I’m good and drunk and alone. I hate my life.

I don't have any personal experience but have seen it often from the outside and my advice is that if possible try and keep a cordial relationship with your ex wife and try and relate to her it's for the good of the kids. Often times kids get caught in the middle so try and avoid any confrontations with her away from the kids. My son's fiance had her parents get divorced when she was younger and both of her parents remarried and although they mentioned they had some rough patches in the beginning, now they often celebrate holidays and do some vacations together with all spouses getting along for the sake of the kids and grandkids. Just remember, the kids are the most important thing and definitely don't put them in the middle of any disagreements that arise.

Good luck and make sure you use what time you have to continue the bond with your kids.

 

[ABM]

So sorry to hear. One thing, these are times where family can be a bigtime support. I hope and trust that you have a family (parents, siblings, cousins, close friends, etc.) who will draw by your side and lend encouragement and support to you.

 

[Lanny]

currently going through the process. Have three small children... love them more than life itself.

Been the worst six months of my life... she hasn’t filed yet but I’ve been out of the house for about five months now. Seeing my kids part time has been absolute torture.

For those of you who have gone through this, help me in any way you can. Have been thinking of posting this for a while as I’ve been a member for so damn long but haven’t had the courage until tonight now that I’m good and drunk and alone. I hate my life.

This song helped me get through my nightmare divorce -

 

[Hoopguru]

currently going through the process. Have three small children... love them more than life itself.

Been the worst six months of my life... she hasn’t filed yet but I’ve been out of the house for about five months now. Seeing my kids part time has been absolute torture.

For those of you who have gone through this, help me in any way you can. Have been thinking of posting this for a while as I’ve been a member for so damn long but haven’t had the courage until tonight now that I’m good and drunk and alone. I hate my life.

Time is a healer and your kids will always be there for you and you for them.
Ive gone through it...stay busy and involved with some sort of exercise and/or workout.
Just concentrate on being the best dad you can be, they will always be there.
The word divorce means death in Greek, but its harder I think as its not as final.
You have a new chapter and horizon in front of you that will bring you happiness!
Hang in there bud, it does get easier in time.

 

[barfo]

You know the kind of women your wife really hates? Arrange for one of them to accompany you whenever you pick up the kids.

barfo

 

[Hoopguru]

You know the kind of women your wife really hates? Arrange for one of them to accompany you whenever you pick up the kids.

barfo

I tried that once and it backed fired. The next time I went to pick up the kids before I could get out of my car my X's boyfriend and her walked the kids out to me...

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

Try to focus on securing your financial sustainability, and getting laid. It’ll be over in no time.

fuck bitches, get money?

 

[3RA1N1AC]

fuck bitches, get money?

yes

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

Half of marriages end in divorce. Not the end of the world unless you make it to be.

 

[Propagandist]

currently going through the process. Have three small children... love them more than life itself.

Been the worst six months of my life... she hasn’t filed yet but I’ve been out of the house for about five months now. Seeing my kids part time has been absolute torture.

For those of you who have gone through this, help me in any way you can. Have been thinking of posting this for a while as I’ve been a member for so damn long but haven’t had the courage until tonight now that I’m good and drunk and alone. I hate my life.

Riverman is very right about the time thing. I got 50/50 custody and I've been doing that for 15(!) years. Some things: time heals, man, it is weird; don't fight about specifics; take some losses, but don't be a pushover; be strong for your kids; remember, you are far from the only one; exercise; porn; hanging with friends; taking advantage of being single; the fucking TRAIL BLAZERS; the forum, of course; reading; movies; I used to go surfing a lot and hiking. Trust that thing will get better.

 

[GhostOfPGA]

Just be civil no matter what with her, give the kids all the love in the world, and give yourself time. Don’t just jump into poontown, that will result in you feeling like shit after you bust.

 

[tlongII]

Don’t ask me man. I’m a serial cheater.

 

[Further]

When I was younger I read a stat that in America, on average, an avid fan of a sports team has a 40% drop in testosterone production after watching their team lose.

I bring this up to illustrate that losing can have physiological reproductions and something like a divorce can alter your mental makeup at a very basic level. It’s why crying often leads to more crying and pain seems to worsen.

The good news is we can try and boost our physiology back into a more healthy cycle by doing a few important things:

1) exercise. And make it a tough excercise, it doesn’t need to be long, 20 minutes is fine, but only if you push yourself during those 20 minutes to the point of exhaustion.

2) Eat right. When many of us are sad we gravitate towards comfort foods, but we need to give our bodies all the nutrients to correct itself. Lots of veggies and protein.

3) make yourself be happy. It might just be for a few minutes at a time, but do things on a schedule that make you and your body go through the motions of happiness. Force yourself to smile or laugh during these time. This could be playing a game with one of your kids or it could be rewatching Dames game winners. Could rewatch one of your favorite happy movies like Princess Bride or Airplane.

Good luck. You will be happier sooner if you reboot your body.

 

[MARIS61]

My wife and I will be celebrating our 42nd anniversary next month, 44 years of being together, 58 years of knowing each other.

Such an amazing woman, such a fortunate life I have led. Seriously, no man alive has it better than I.

I've witnessed many other people's divorces and the common thread is she will play the woman card. That strong independent woman will play helpless damsel in court and you will be raped.

Get a good lawyer or you will be forever poor, your kids will hold it against you while your ex spends YOUR money spoiling them.

 

[Lanny]

Half of marriages end in divorce. Not the end of the world unless you make it to be.

Nope, my divorce was like the end of the world. Had to go through it to get better. Now happily married for 40 years.

 

[SheedSoNasty]

Got served papers yesterday. We have a shared time parenting plan in place but she’s seeking legal custody.

Should I be worried? I know the difference between parenting time and custody. I’m just baffled since she seems to want to split everything together and seems amicable.