Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and the Blazers

[maxiep]

It's no understatement to say every single Blazer forum in which I post has become pretty unenjoyable over the past few months. I've been struggling to figure out why the change in our fortunes has resulted in so much gnashing of teeth and has brought out the worst in many posters, then the work of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross came to mind.

She was a psychologist who wrote about grief and loss. She developed a five phase model that I've included below:

1. Denial – "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."

Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of positions and individuals that will be left behind after death.


2. Anger – "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; "Who is to blame?"

Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Any individual that symbolizes life or energy is subject to projected resentment and jealousy.


3. Bargaining – "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."

The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time..."


4. Depression – "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die... What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"

During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect oneself from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.


5. Acceptance – "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."

In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with his mortality or that of his loved one.

The vast majority of the people that post on this board are fans that live and die with this team. We've suffered what amounts to a loss and we're grieving. I've found myself going through these five phases and thankfully find myself at acceptance, although I still struggle with being depressed about this team. I know I've been an ass during the past few weeks when I was deep into the anger phase, and for that I apologize.

I think most of us are still at #2, which is anger and another section of us are at #4 which is depression; it's why the forums haven't been much fun. I hope we as a group can move past anger, bargaining and depression and get to a point where we can accept our new reality and make the best of it.

If the post speaks to any of you at all, I'd be interested to know which phase you're in.

 

[Mediocre Man]

I have been in stage 5 since the beginning of training camp. Until Nate is gone, and we start getting rid of aging player for a do-over, we aren't going anywhere. I still get angry from time to time, but not nearly as bad as years past.

 

[barfo]

I'm in either 1 or 5. Not sure which.

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.

barfo

 

[Swoosh22]

I think I've been in stage 5 for a little while as well. After Oden went down (again), it seems that this once promising season was going to be another dogfight to get a top 5 seed in the playoffs. However, after seeing Roy at about 20% of his former self, we would be lucky to get in at all. I still get angry when we go through one of our typical (this year) second half total collapses, but my expectations are now pretty low so I just accept it. We've lost most of our (perceived) trading chips, so there really won't be any miracle trades that save our season.

 

[Ed O]

As with barfo, I'm either at #1 or #5. I'm much less enthusiastic this year than I have been in... as long as I can remember. I actually have missed a couple of games on TV this year. Which is really atypical of me.

How much is the shitty-ass Comast standard definition resolution and how much is just fatigue of disappointment? I dunno.

I'm looking forward to the draft more than I am the potential for playoffs, though... and that's pretty sad.

Ed O.

 

[hasoos]

5. Acceptance. I am in the phase where I am looking for the team to retool and try again, and I don't expect them to win anything but maybe a playoff birth at best. I don't expect for Greg Oden to ever play for the team. I don't expect Lamarcus to play like an All Star anymore, because he isn't, I accept him for the above average role player he is. I really don't expect the team to turn around until maybe the GM after this one, because of the way Cho has started out doesn't give me a lot of confidence in him, and with Roy in his current situation, I expect the team will be hampered with his contract for the next 4 years. I watch the game to enjoy the crazy ass plays that happen, and try to ignore the refs, because they just rain on all but the top teams parades.

 

[BlazerCaravan]

I have been in stage 5 since the beginning of training camp. Until Nate is gone, and we start getting rid of aging player for a do-over, we aren't going anywhere. I still get angry from time to time, but not nearly as bad as years past.

You're in stage 1 about being in stage 5; you have been in stage 2 for years, though.

 

[PapaG]

I guess I don't treat the success or failure of the Blazers as being grief-worthy.

 

[Mediocre Man]

You're in stage 1 about being in stage 5; you have been in stage 2 for years, though.

You are welcome to look back at post of mine. Most of them say I am not shocked because our team just isn't that good. And I already know who is to blame. It's more anger twoards lemmings on this board that kept thinking Nate was a good coach

 

[mook]

I'm at acceptance.

I pretty much check on the score sometime between halftime and the end of the third quarter. If the Blazers are competitive, I'll watch the game that's recording on my DVR. If it's a suck-fest, I'll find something better to do.

I kind of got hosed in that Memphis game because they really only quit in the 4th. I wish now I'd just skipped the whole game and watched a good movie instead.

Anyway, I figure it's at the "acceptance" stage because I don't really get worked up anymore. My three favorite players--Oden, Batum and Roy--seem to be done at least for the year. Not much is likely to change with that. So I might as well get over it.

 

[BlazerCaravan]

You are welcome to look back at post of mine. Most of them say I am not shocked because our team just isn't that good. And I already know who is to blame. It's more anger twoards lemmings on this board that kept thinking Nate was a good coach

That's fair; I mostly wanted to make a lame joke.

It might be the effect your avatar has on how I read your posts.

 

[Mediocre Man]

That's fair; I mostly wanted to make a lame joke.

It might be the effect your avatar has on how I read your posts.

I could always change it to Hermie, the elf that longed to be a dentist? That would sort of tie into Greg Oden as well.



In fact..............

 

[BLAZER PROPHET]

Neither for me.

I'm a fan. Win or lose. A fan.

 

[LittleAlex]

Is there a step for bitter laughter because there have been moments in the last 4 weeks where the team was so bad all I could do was laugh.

Like every time Sean "The Payroll Thief" Marks steps on the court.

 

[BlazerCaravan]

I could always change it to Hermie, the elf that longed to be a dentist? That would sort of tie into Greg Oden as well.



In fact..............

lol! It's working on me too! You suddenly seem more cheerful!

I need to change mine.

 

[Mediocre Man]

lol! It's working on me too! You suddenly seem more cheerful!

I need to change mine.

Don't read too much into it, Nate is still an ass clown

 

[mgb]

You are welcome to look back at post of mine. Most of them say I am not shocked because our team just isn't that good. And I already know who is to blame. It's more anger twoards lemmings on this board that kept thinking Nate was a good coach

Maybe you need to accept that people are entitle to their opinion? Then maybe the anger will go away.

 

[The_Lillard_King]

You are welcome to look back at post of mine. Most of them say I am not shocked because our team just isn't that good. And I already know who is to blame. It's more anger twoards lemmings on this board that kept thinking Nate was a good coach

The funny thing is you are so wrong about Nate always being a bad coach.

I can pick numerous coaches in the NBA, tell people on the board for years and years about how bad a coach they are and eventually when that coach gets fired (usually happens much faster than Nate's tenure), I can stand up and say look I told you he was a bad coach.

Nate has been a great coach in the past. If the players aren't responding to him now, the Blazers need a change. But guarenntee you Nate finds another coaching job if he wants one.

I do like the avatar change, I too read the posts different . . . strange.

 

[Mediocre Man]

Maybe you need to accept that people are entitle to their opinion? Then maybe the anger will go away.

I don't think it will because some peoples opinions are too far out there. Like me saying Nate is a horrible coach. He's not really horrible, just not nearly as good as most people in here gave him credit for.

 

[Mediocre Man]

The funny thing is you are so wrong about Nate always being a bad coach.

I can pick numerous coaches in the NBA, tell people on the board for years and years about how bad a coach they are and eventually when that coach gets fired (usually happens much faster than Nate's tenure), I can stand up and say look I told you he was a bad coach.

Nate has been a great coach in the past. If the players aren't responding to him now, the Blazers need a change. But guarenntee you Nate finds another coaching job if he wants one.

I do like the avatar change, I too read the posts different . . . strange.

When in the fuck has Nate been a great coach, and why?


You see. Mike, this is what I am talking about

 

[The_Lillard_King]

When in the fuck has Nate been a great coach, and why?


You see. Mike, this is what I am talking about

Any coach who can get guys to play hard and buy into a system is doing what many coaches can't. He improved the Blazer record for many years, brought respect back to the organization and many players have praised him. Camby signed with teh Blazers because of Nate. Blazers only all star in years is an all star because of nate (and he will tell you that).

Nate has been praised for his coaching on a national level, hell the basketball team for the United States picks him as one of the coaches . . . but apparently you have had it all figured out years ago, Just like when you said Roy was a bad draft pick and blamed Nate for that saying he was drafted because he is a Nate guy.

Yoiu have hated on Nate since before Roy was here and finally you get to say "see, I told you so" . . . only really you haven't been riight since day one.

And you know what gets me angry, people who think they know everything because they have coached girls high school basketball.

 

[Mediocre Man]

And you know what gets me angry, people who think they know everything because they have coached girls high school basketball.

I have never said I coached girls high school basketball. This to me sounds like a sexist comment demeaning the efforts of girls basketball in general........which is garbage


And actually the only thing I have given Nate credit for is getting his teams to play hard. His offense is and has been crap all along. He has had the luxury of a top 10 player in the league to bail him out. Yet everyone kept telling me he was great because our offense was so efficient. That wasn't the case at all though because it was really just Roy being able to make tough shots and because Joel, Aldridge, Oden and Camby are all very good to elite level offensive rebounders

 

[mgb]

I don't know about great, but I do think he's a pretty good coach. I do also agree if players are no longer listening to him it's time for him to go. Then again it's still early. With Roy playing like he is it might take some time to change roles on the team.

 

[Ed O]

Any coach who can get guys to play hard and buy into a system is doing what many coaches can't. He improved the Blazer record for many years, brought respect back to the organization and many players have praised him.

The team lost six more games his first year than they had previously, and then won more games for three straight years before backsliding last year and then, presumably, taking another step backwards this season.

I think that he improved the Blazer record "for many years" is a dramatic overstatement.

Ed O.

 

[hasoos]

The team lost six more games his first year than they had previously, and then won more games for three straight years before backsliding last year and then, presumably, taking another step backwards this season.

I think that he improved the Blazer record "for many years" is a dramatic overstatement.

Ed O.

Which is what I would expect anybody who is Anti Nate to say. If you don't like Nate, you don't give him any credit for what he has done. If you love Nate, you would give him all the credit in the world. The reality is probably somewhere in the middle. Nate has done a good job in many ways, and in coaching circles, is respected. My guess is that folks in the coaching circles probably know more than most of us do. I myself think the problem is a misbalanced team with 2 slow guards and not enough bigs.

 

[MARIS61]

I'm in the "I told you so" stage.

When we blew up a perrennial playoff team with the promise of rebuilding through youth I said that has never worked as management never stays the course long enough to get results. 2 years ago, the Blazers gave up the plan, hired Miller who immediately disassembled the 4 years of rebuilding through several shortsighted and lopsided trades, and now we have a crappy team of little trade value.

I told you so.

 

[PapaG]

I'm in the "I told you so" stage.

When we blew up a perrennial playoff team with the promise of rebuilding through youth I said that has never worked as management never stays the course long enough to get results. 2 years ago, the Blazers gave up the plan, hired Miller who immediately disassembled the 4 years of rebuilding through several shortsighted and lopsided trades, and now we have a crappy team of little trade value.

I told you so.

Awesome post. I'm not sure if I agree with it all, but damn, it is hilarious. Repped!

 

[Ed O]

Which is what I would expect anybody who is Anti Nate to say. If you don't like Nate, you don't give him any credit for what he has done. If you love Nate, you would give him all the credit in the world. The reality is probably somewhere in the middle. Nate has done a good job in many ways, and in coaching circles, is respected. My guess is that folks in the coaching circles probably know more than most of us do. I myself think the problem is a misbalanced team with 2 slow guards and not enough bigs.

I'm not anti-Nate.

Ed O.

 

[The_Lillard_King]

OK so when I said great coach, that was probably a Brandon Roy knee jerk response to posters who call him a terrible coach and the reason for all the Blazer problems for the last five years.

 

[The_Lillard_King]

The team lost six more games his first year than they had previously, and then won more games for three straight years before backsliding last year and then, presumably, taking another step backwards this season.

I think that he improved the Blazer record "for many years" is a dramatic overstatement.

Ed O.

So what you are saying is 3 years is not equal to many years. Fair enough.