Elton John, "Jesus was gay"

[SlyPokerDog]

1. You shall have no other gods before me.

2. You shall not make for yourself any carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.

3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your manservant, nor your maidservant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

5. Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.

6. You shall not murder.

7. You shall not commit adultery.

8. You shall not steal.

9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s."

It's my guess that #10 is a mis-translation. I'm sure it was originally ass and not donkey.

 

[TradeNurkicNow]

Hebrew

Aramaic.

 

[TradeNurkicNow]

Also: LOL @ Elton John. Who on earth gives a shit about what he has to say about anything? Other than Elton John, and perhaps his manservant?

 

[Blazer_Hippie]

Websters definition of Homosexuality:
1 : of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex

Bible Verse:

1 Cor. 6:9-10, "Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God."

That's a mis-print!

 

[chris_in_pdx]

Who cares about Elton John, who cares about Jesus, and who cares about who is gay or not. Fuckin' A. Live your life the way you want, let everyone live theirs the way they want.

 

[drexlersdad]

1. You shall have no other gods before me.

makes sense. im #1!

2. You shall not make for yourself any carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.

christians are going to hell for making crosses and bowing to them. because god is jealous? women dig confidence god!

3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

ouch guilty

4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your manservant, nor your maidservant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

football players are all going to hell, also pastors, and the guy at the toll station.

5. Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.

some peoples parents rape them and sell them into slavery.

6. You shall not murder.

war

7. You shall not commit adultery.

everyone is going to hell

8. You shall not steal.

peer 2 peer

9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

"your hair looks nice mom" = hell

10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.

keeping up with the jones's = going to hell.

 

[Wheels]

Who cares about Elton John, who cares about Jesus, and who cares about who is gay or not. Fuckin' A. Live your life the way you want, let everyone live theirs the way they want.

except for Darizzle or a Laker fan who comes in here?

 

[CelticKing]

No, Jesus isn't gay, because Jesus wasn't real. Jesus is a fantasy character made up by some folks who wrote a book intent on dominating people through religious fervor.

amen lol

really though, any intelligent man should understand religion was created (any of them) to control masses of people (countries, etc) and kill and conquer in the name of religion. (been happening for the past 3 to 4 thousand years)

 

[julius]

1. You shall have no other gods before me.

like Drexler said, makes sense.

2. You shall not make for yourself any carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.

I guess the "earth beneath" meant hell? What I didn't ever understand was the water under the earth thing. So we can't make carved images of fish?

Also, why is God a jealous God? Never got that. And why so spiteful? Let bygones be bygones.

3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

I remember someone once saying this really meant not using the name of God to justify crap, not necessarily saying gull-darnit.

4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your manservant, nor your maidservant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

Um..yeah. I think most people skip this one.

5. Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.

6. You shall not murder.

7. You shall not commit adultery.

8. You shall not steal.

6-7 should've been higher up imho. I understand the "I'm kind of insecure, so don't be comparing me to other gods" thing, but shouldn't that be after murder, stealing and adultery?

9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s." .

I lost my motivation to continue being funny (although i'm not sure I ever was)

 

[BGrantFan]

The whole water into wine thing is what probably tipped him off, a straight messiah would have turned it into beer.

Gay Jesus would have turned the water into a Cosmo. Metrosexual Jesus did the wine thing, and he did have pretty fucking rad hair.

 

[Wheels]

amen lol

really though, any intelligent man should understand religion was created (any of them) to control masses of people (countries, etc) and kill and conquer in the name of religion. (been happening for the past 3 to 4 thousand years)

I'm not jumping into the whole "you believe you dont" thing.. but because someone would think differently than you that makes them unintelligent?

 

[MARIS61]

Let's clear up all this God hates homosexuals nonsense right now with a quick trip to WikiAnswers:

The words "homosexual" and "homosexuality" do not appear in the Bible-at least they are absent from the original Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek texts. The authors of the Bible did not understand sexual orientation; this concept was only developed in the late 19th century. The writers had little or no comprehension of same-sex committed relationships. Their languages had no words for these concepts. Rather, they assumed that everyone was heterosexual, but that some heterosexuals engaged in sex with persons of the same gender. Thus, when you see one of these terms in an English translation of the Bible, it is important to dig deeper and find what the original Hebrew or Greek text really means. The word "homosexual" first appeared in the New Revised Standard (RSV) Bible in 1946.

Traditional Church teaching falsely misuses the Bible to judge the homosexual lifestyle. True Biblical theology begins not with Church tradition and dogma but with the biblical texts themselves. Biblical theology seeks to understand how the biblical authors expressed themselves in the Koine Greek of the time (not expanded by later modern greek meanings), in terms of their culture. Only with this understanding is it legitimate to define biblical sexual ethics of the NT and find implications for today.

There is little said in the bible about homosexuality because it was no big deal! It occupied a prominent and respected position in most Greek and Roman cities at all levels of society and among a substantial part of the population. There are only 4 scriptures that are taken to say anything about homosexuality; the Leviticus laws, I Cor 6:9, Romans 1:26-27, and the story of Sodom and Gomorrah - and none address loving, consenting homosexual acts as we know them today.

There are over 600 individual "laws" in the Levitical code, the breaking of anyone of which would make the sinner unclean and unacceptable to God. It is an abomination to eat pork, etc. The law is no longer in effect and its purpose was to show that man could never follow it. The sins of Sodom and Gomorrah, likewise have nothing to do with homosexuality.

I Cor 6:9, no way refers to homosexuality. The original Greek word often quoted as sexual immorality, Paul used was "porneia" which means "a harlot for hire". In Corinth in the temples of Venus, the principal deity of Corinth, where Christians went to worship, a thousand public prostitutes were kept at public expense to glorify and act as surrogates for the fertility Gods. This sex with the pagan Gods is what Paul was talking about - fornication is an admitted mistranslation and has nothing to do with gays or singles sex. This rendering reflected the bias of the translators rather than an accurate translation of Paul's words to a culture of 2000 years ago worshipping pagan sex gods.

Romans 1:26-27 mentions homosexual acts performed by people who are clearly described as heterosexual. The men in the NT patriarchal culture exerted dominance not only over women, but over younger males as well. The nature of homosexual acts in the Bible are so very different from what we know as homosexuality today that the passages have no application to today's homosexuality. Such practices as in NT times simply no longer exist. Alleged references to homosexuality in I Corinthians and I Timothy are the inventions of anti-gay translators. They are not in the original Greek texts.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_year_did_the_word_homosexual_first_appear_in_the_Bible

 

[barfo]

In Corinth in the temples of Venus, the principal deity of Corinth, where Christians went to worship, a thousand public prostitutes were kept at public expense to glorify and act as surrogates for the fertility Gods.

People say our government tries to do too much; I say it doesn't do enough.

barfo

 

[SlyPokerDog]

People say our government tries to do too much; I say it doesn't do enough.

barfo

A thousand public prostitutes kept at public expense.

Now that's a stimulus package!

 

[speeds]

Jesus wasn't.

 

[CelticKing]

Imagine if John had mentioned Mohamed in the same sentence. lmao

 

[chris_in_pdx]

Let's clear up all this God hates homosexuals nonsense right now with a quick trip to WikiAnswers:]

You mean LIB-iAnswers. When there's a conservative counterpoint Answers website, I'll pay attention.