<div class="quote_poster">Quoting shapecity:</div><div class="quote_post">
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
~ George Carlin
"They're superstitious, they have these beliefs, these primitive, you know, people believe in a...
I mean they're just really kind of credulous, and gullible. People believe in, for instance, hell and angels, okay, these are very primitive, very, very backward to me, backward sounding beliefs, these are child-like, and that's the key, because they get you when you're a kid, they get you when you're little, and they tell you there's a God, and if you can make people believe, I believe this, if you can make someone believe that there's an invisible man, living in the sky, who's watching everything you do, and keeping count of everything you do, which is good and which is bad, then you can make that person believe anything after that, you can add anything you want, the 4th of July **** just rolls right in, land of the free, home of the brave, the press is fair and impartial, justice is blind, all men are created equal, your vote is important, the United States government is on your side, the army is here to keep the peace, the police are on your side...
Oh, and freedom of choice, this is the big one, the illusion of choice, we're led to feel free by the exercise of meaningless choices. There are, for instance, important things -- not too many choices, unimportant things-ice cream flavors, what do you want, we've got 31, the flavor of the week, the flavor of the month, but political parties-we're down to two, jeez. Sources of information, media companies down to five, banks, insurance companies, pharmaceuticals, chemical companies, oil companies-used to be seven, down to three, pretty soon it's gonna be two. But if you’re lookin' for a bagel or a fuckin' donut, hey, what do you want-pineapple supreme, hazelnut; we've got everything you want.
Cereals, I counted, personally in the store counted 192 different cereal choices, 192. 140 different cat foods, I counted, and that includes a tartar-control cat food for senior citizen cats, okay?" -
George Carlin, appearance on Dennis Miller Live; [response to why Americans are so easily influenced by advertising]</div>
Great stuff.
<div class="quote_poster">Quoting voodoo child:</div><div class="quote_post">
Shape: Carlin can be funny, and most of what he says makes a lot of sense, but that sounds more like a rant than a joke.
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He's more of a satirist, and satire is much more pleasing [at least to me] than comedy.
Also, here's some more of Mitch's stuff...
<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">
Man. I went to the doctor the other day. All this guy did was suck blood out of my neck. Never go to see Dr. Acula.
Whenever I walk, people try to hand me out flyers. And when someone tries to hand me out a flyer, it's kinda like they're saying, "Here, YOU throw this away."
I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. "Dammit, Otto, you are an alcoholic." "Dammit, Otto, you have Lupus." One of those two doesn't sound right.
I was in a casino, minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move. You're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. Unless you're a table.
I did a radio interview. The DJ's first question was, "Who are you?" I had to think, "Is this guy really deep? Or did I drive down to the wrong station?"
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