Fear the poop bubbles

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Sug

Sug

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ood news for people who like news about grotesque agricultural calamities-waiting-to-happen! Lauren Etter of the Wall Street Journal has a groundbreaking story of how the state of Indiana is threatened by giant bubbles of livestock feces. Will someone think of the children, many of whom dream of seeing a floating balloon, made solely of poop?

It's all going down on the farm of Tony Goltstein of Winchester, Indiana. Goltstein runs a dairy farm, and like a lot of dairy farmers, he contains the biological leavings of his livestock in giant lagoons.

But then, in 2006, "small bubbles began poking up" in those lagoons. Those bubbles are now "the size of small houses." Those bubbles "are big enough to be seen in satellite photos." Those bubbles are something Etter really, really, really wants her readers to take pretty deadly seriously!

But Goltstein has got this crazy plan!

This month, Mr. Goltstein asked state regulators to let him pop the bubbles. He said he and his 19-year-old son would slice them open with a knife from a paddleboat.

Bruce Palin, assistant commissioner for the office of land quality at the state environmental agency, said officials were considering the idea. But, he added, "not knowing how much volume of gas is there and how much pressure is on it, we're concerned with just cutting a hole."

Last year, a hog farmer in Hayfield, Minn., was launched 40 feet into the air in an explosion caused by methane gas from a manure pit on his farm. He sustained burns and singed hair.

Goltstein told the WSJ: "I have no fear of popping them." In all honesty, Farmer Goltstein is sort of weirdly awesome.
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A 40 foot methane ride, that has to be a world record. After some bad Mexican food I can empathize with the burning and singeing.
 
Why not shoot them with a sniper rifle? or ninja stars?
 
This article strangely reminds me of some of our beach trips, BP.
 
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BLAZER PROPHET said:
Yeah. You leak all over the place. Sounds like the scene from Blazzing Saddles.
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I have never been more grossed out in my life than I was during last weekend's beach trip when you were (literally) fanning your rotten death bombs in my general direction. I have no idea how your body churns up such stench.
 
ABM said:
I have never been more grossed out in my life than I was during last weekend's beach trip when you were (literally) fanning your rotten death bombs in my general direction. I have no idea how your body churns up such stench.
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I don't know what you're talking about. You were the one floating.
 
BLAZER PROPHET said:
And tell him about you?
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You can deflect all you want, pal. Fat is, you're just...........just................disgusting. And, worst of all, you're proud of it! :biglaugh:
 
ABM said:
You can deflect all you want, pal. Fat is, you're just...........just................disgusting. And, worst of all, you're proud of it! :biglaugh:
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You are obsessive compulsive over your farts. But to blame them on others is :ohno:.
 
BLAZER PROPHET said:
You are. pffffffffffffffffffffft.

You know, this is getting rather childish.
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Yep. I started it with an "our" statement. You began dragging it into the ground by deflecting things directly my way. You should be ashamed of yourself, BP.
 
ABM said:
Yep. I started it with an "our" statement. You began dragging it into the ground by deflecting things directly my way. You should be ashamed of yourself, BP.
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Like your farts, you never seem to end.

BTW, thank for leaving the tip at lunch today. Next time, my turn.
 
BLAZER PROPHET said:
Like your farts, you never seem to end.

BTW, thank for leaving the tip at lunch today. Next time, my turn.
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Notice I left the restaurant ahead of you. Oh, and you're welcome.
 
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