Exclusive I just punched a Portland bicyclist

[Natebishop3]

Oh shit, @MickZagger I found the article!

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2017/04/portland_cycling_activist_says_he_was_assaulted.html

A Northeast Portland cyclist was reportedly assaulted by an unknown driver after the two exchanged words when the motorist sped past him Thursday evening.

KATU reports that the cyclist suffered a concussion, which took place near Killingsworth and Albina. The cyclist shouted at the driver after he caused him to swerve to avoid a collision, who the cycling advocate said had sped "dangerously" past him.

The driver got out of the car and punched the cyclist in the face before fleeing the scene.

 

[H.C.]

Oh shit, I found the article!

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2017/04/portland_cycling_activist_says_he_was_assaulted.html

Have fun zags.

 

[BoBoBREWSKI]

Oh shit, I found the article!

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2017/04/portland_cycling_activist_says_he_was_assaulted.html

Adios MickZagger!

 

[Denny Crane]

Hey Mick,

We need to send you over to @HCP's place.

Take care of business.

 

[Sinobas]

Sounds like he deserved it. Bicyclists are supposed to behave like automobiles, yet many times they'll ride down the wrong side of the road, and just fly through intersections, then wonder why a car making a right hand turn had to slam on their breaks to miss them. Swinging a bike lock at someone like that could also be considered a serious crime.

 

[Natebishop3]

Sounds like he deserved it. Bicyclists are supposed to behave like automobiles, yet many times they'll ride down the wrong side of the road, and just fly through intersections, then wonder why a car making a right hand turn had to slam on their breaks to miss them. Swinging a bike lock at someone like that could also be considered a serious crime.

 

[Chris Craig]

Oh shit, I found the article!

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2017/04/portland_cycling_activist_says_he_was_assaulted.html

Hmm...there is nothing about the swinging of a bike lock in there. Just a Rick roll

 

[Minstrel]

Hmm...there is nothing about the swinging of a bike lock in there.

That's because MickZagger left the cyclist to report it and tell the story.

 

[Natebishop3]

Hmm...there is nothing about the swinging of a bike lock in there. Just a Rick roll

Dude...... you're that guy.

 

[Chris Craig]

Dude...... you're that guy.

Yeah I'm a horrible human being and I'm going to hell

 

[Natebishop3]

Yeah I'm a horrible human being and I'm going to hell

You totally are!

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

Oh shit, I found the article!

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2017/04/portland_cycling_activist_says_he_was_assaulted.html

That was really good.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Oh shit, @MickZagger I found the article!

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2017/04/portland_cycling_activist_says_he_was_assaulted.html

Epic! Well done!

 

[UncleCliffy'sDaddy]

Have fun zags.

Honki, you devious asshole! Well played! Very well played!

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

Epic! Well done!

Right, on my phone it looked completely legit

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

Oh shit, @MickZagger I found the article!

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2017/04/portland_cycling_activist_says_he_was_assaulted.html

Totally believable and probably what really happened. Looked 100 percent legit.

 

[BlazerDuckSeahawkFan94]

Oh shit, @MickZagger I found the article!

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2017/04/portland_cycling_activist_says_he_was_assaulted.html

This is a Hall of Fame level post

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

This is a Hall of Fame level post

Yep. I bought it and then got super disappointed that it was fake.

 

[Minstrel]

Heh, I didn't even click the link, I just read the (fake) blurb. So I fell for it and I didn't.

 

[Natebishop3]

Heh, I didn't even click the link, I just read the (fake) blurb. So I fell for it and I didn't.

I took an article about an Uber driver punching a cyclist and altered a few details, including the link to the actual article.

 

[Minstrel]

I took an article about an Uber driver punching a cyclist and altered a few details, including the link to the actual article.

I assumed you were flexing your old news copy muscles from when you were a (semi) legitimate journalist!

 

[Natebishop3]

I assumed you were flexing your old news copy muscles from when you were a (semi) legitimate journalist!

Oh I totally did. My plagiarism skills are still top notch!

Seriously though.... this thread is gaining visibility

 

[MarAzul]

I had this shit eating grin on my face

Oh shit, @MickZagger I found the article!

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2017/04/portland_cycling_activist_says_he_was_assaulted.html

That's because MickZagger left the cyclist to report it and tell the story.

That was really good.

Epic! Well done!

The SE Grin will be a good defense.

 

[MarAzul]

Heh, I didn't even click the link, I just read the (fake) blurb. So I fell for it and I didn't.

me too.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

me too.

I clicked it because I was hoping for a better description of the suspect.

"About 5'7" with a psychotic grin, smells of cardboard and tape..hits like a girl, blasting the Weeknd on his stereo"

Stuff like that.

 

[Natebishop3]

I clicked it because I was hoping for a better description of the suspect.

"About 5'7" with a psychotic grin, smells of cardboard and tape..hits like a girl, blasting the Weeknd on his stereo"

Stuff like that.

 

[Chris Craig]

I wonder how many jurors in @MickZagger s trial will be bycylists.

 

[BoBoBREWSKI]

Fuck all of you who didnt roll with it until at least MickZagger responded first.

 

[BoBoBREWSKI]

UH OH!

http://www.kgw.com/news/crime/man-possibly-involved-in-fight-dies-at-hospital/463686868

 

[Minstrel]

UH OH!

http://www.kgw.com/news/crime/man-possibly-involved-in-fight-dies-at-hospital/463686868

Nice rickroll.