Exclusive I just punched a Portland bicyclist

[dviss1]

YOU ASS! That was you???

 

[Natebishop3]

UH OH!

http://www.kgw.com/news/crime/man-possibly-involved-in-fight-dies-at-hospital/463686868

Zag's guy could have had numerous injuries. He went over the handlebars of his bike and then Zags punched him in the face.

 

[Natebishop3]

Fuck all of you who didnt roll with it until at least MickZagger responded first.

Some real killjoys around here.

 

[Minstrel]

So Zags is a murderer who's going to jail?

He can still give us the scoop on the next great Gonzaga players from jail--you get internet access as long as you don't misbehave.

 

[DaLincolnJones]

Got to hand it to you, Zags. You showed amazing restraint punching the guy only once.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Got to hand it to you, Zags. You showed amazing restraint punching the guy only once.

He should have taken his bike.

 

[Natebishop3]

Got to hand it to you, Zags. You showed amazing restraint punching the guy only once.

Maybe he pulled a Carmelo?

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

Maybe he pulled a Carmelo?

I would say more likely than not.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

Do you think there was a forum post in an English soccer forum last week that was titled......

I just shoved this dumb woman who got in my way

https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2017/08/10/europe/london-jogger-arrest-bus/index.html

 

[BlazerWookee]

So I'm driving home from work, one block off Killingsworth and Albina (not sure the cross street) and I'm cruising along and do my typical left, right, left check at an intersection and a hipster bicyclist dude ran a stop sign. He had the stop on his side, my side was clear. He's lucky I was paying close attention as always and hit my breaks. He sees me, slams on his breaks and goes over his handlebars. It wasn't too bad, as he caught himself. I get out of my car to see if he was alright (which he was) and I had this shit eating grin on my face when I asked him if he was okay.

He didn't like that grin and started blaming me. I point to the stop sign that he had and he came unglued. Grabbed his bike lock and swung it at me, missing twice. I reared back and landed a decent one. Got back in my car and left. There was a lady walking her dog by when it happened and watched it all go down.

I'm sure the dude's fine. But what the fuck?!? These bicyclists need to get a fucking clue.

HIT HIM IN THE MUSCLE! HIT HIM IN THE MUSCLE!

 

[MickZagger]

I haven't heard a peep from anyone. So I think I'm in the clear.

 

[HailBlazers]

Props to you. This douche bag hipster got what he deserved.

QFT.

However, how do we know Zagger didn't hit the guy in the AM?! Maybe this thread is his Alibi?

 

[HailBlazers]

I haven't heard a peep from anyone. So I think I'm in the clear.

Tell us the whole story, where's the body at?

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

I haven't heard a peep from anyone. So I think I'm in the clear.

When he comes out of the coma we'll see what he remembers. My sister is head nurse at a hospital in Portland I think, I'll see what she can find out.

Sad that I don't know where my sister works these days.

 

[theprunetang]

When he comes out of the coma we'll see what he remembers. My sister is head nurse at a hospital in Portland I think, I'll see what she can find out.

Sad that I don't know where my sister works these days.

I definitely know where she works. She really is the "head" nurse. Does a great "job".

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

I definitely know where she works. She really is the "head" nurse. Does a great "job".

Hahahahahahaha you burned yourself so bad. I love her but she looks like me only shorter and rounder.

 

[julius]

Hahahahahahaha you burned yourself so bad. I love her but she looks like me only shorter and rounder.

So you're saying she's a 3 bagger?

 

[theprunetang]

Hahahahahahaha you burned yourself so bad. I love her but she looks like me only shorter and rounder.

Yeah, but I probably gave her the clap. So, we burned each other.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

Yeah, but I probably have her the clap. So we, burned each other.

She's got good insurance.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

Yeah, but I probably have her the clap. So we, burned each other.

My brother works in a lab and my mom is a transcriptionist so I can make you have anything I want.

 

[Minstrel]

Yeah, but I probably have her the clap. So we, burned each other.

I like that you truly don't shy away from a pyrrhic victory. You embrace it in the pursuit of another joke. That kind of commitment belongs in a motivational poster.

 

[theprunetang]

My brother works in a lab and my mom is a transcriptionist so I can make you have anything I want.

I already knew all of that. Your brother does a really pure old school P2P cook. Best lab in Gresham, bar none. And your mom hooks me up with Xanax when I need to come down.

 

[theprunetang]

I like that you truly don't shy away from a pyrrhic victory. You embrace it in the pursuit of another joke. That kind of commitment belongs in a motivational poster.

Like this?

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

Like this?
View attachment 15623

Oh, no. Just nooooooooooooo

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

Like this?
View attachment 15623

You look like you got punched by a delivery boy.

 

[Minstrel]

You look like you got punched by a delivery boy.

Plot twist...

 

[Minstrel]

Like this?
View attachment 15623

Flannel, ironic beard and haircut--you really go for all the stereotypes, don't you? You even decided to be white (even though that's so mainstream, I have no idea why hipsters and indieheads still go for that look).

 

[theprunetang]

You look like you got punched by a delivery boy.

Some asshole almost hit me with his car. I went over my handlebars and then the guy comes out and sucker punches me. Didn't catch the license plate, but saw he had a Gonzaga bumper sticker.

 

[theprunetang]

Flannel, ironic beard and haircut--you really go for all the stereotypes, don't you? You even decided to be white (even though that's so mainstream, I have no idea why hipsters and indieheads still go for that look).

And can you believe that that nose has never been broken? It just grows all white-trashy like that.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

Some asshole almost hit me with his car. I went over my handlebars and then the guy comes out and sucker punches me. Didn't catch the license plate, but saw he had a Gonzaga bumper sticker.

Did he have an Adam Morrison tramp stamp showing above his boxers?