Notice Learn To Swim, Learn To Swim, Learn To Swim!!!

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HailBlazers said:
Last time I saw Tool was at Matthew Knight Arena. Surprisingly good venue.
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6 times for me and my very first concert ever at Salem Armory in 93 (or 94?) For $13 a ticket on the undertow tour. Also saw them at the Schnitz concert hall once. After a show at the memorial coliseum with Tricky, I vowed to not waste money on an arena tour with them ever again, the acoustics are so disappointing for their layered music. I've also seen APC 4 times.
 
crandc said:
Am I also chicken shit because I can't swim?
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Your picture is not in Webster's so I'll have to assume that you qualify as one of Sly's elite guard based on your bravery. Just don't let the fight take you anywhere near water.
 
crandc said:
Not fear of water exactly. I am extremely near sighted. When I was a child, they would take away my glasses and stick me in a pool. I couldn't see instructor, or where I was going, or bottom of pool so would freak.
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They have goggles with built in corrective lenses base on the goggle owner's vision. No, I'm not kidding. At least they used to make such goggles and they make sense so I see no reason why they would discontinue them.
My short coming was two fold:
1. I needed nose plugs until I was about 13;
2. I was abnormally small and the big kids and older ones use to love to invite me to swim with them so they could push my little head under water. I would go into absolute panic mode. But then I developed this fantastic ability to swim under water and when coupled with my tiny size when the bigger kids would try to half drown me I could swim underwater in places they feared to go such as between timbers supporting docks. Once I developed that ability I never again gave them a chance to drown me. When I graduated from high school I finally went through my growth spurt and that coupled with working summers with my father meant I could finally beat any of them at arm wrestling. Hence, my currently massive brain and biceps. Seriously, when I was 53 I could leg press 560 lbs. Confession - When in the locker room all alone and after my shower I would stand in front of the mirror, naked, and flex and impress myself. The most impressive? Your Jewish so you know what this means, I was really impressed with my massive schlong.
 
riverman said:
True story...bell bottoms were invented for sailors to be used as flotation devices if you were overboard...tie a knot in each leg bell and smack them on the water then lie between the air bags and float....navy bootcamp exercise
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An absolutely true story (it’s even mentioned in the Wikipedia page on the USS Blue Ridge)………..we were on a big exercise, invading the island of Mindoro in the Philippines. On our way there from Subic Bay, an ensign (that came on board the same day as me) fell overboard in the middle of the night (long story). Nobody saw or heard him and we didn’t know he was missing till late morning (it was a Friday). So the whole flotilla turned around and went looking for him to no avail. We were all bummed (he was a unicorn….a popular officer) but we finally wrote him off and went back on our way to “liberate” the Mindorans. On Monday we were notified by the chain of command that Ensign Long had been picked up by the Russian trawler that was always tailing/monitoring our activities (we were a designated flag ship). When he had fallen over the side (and avoided being sucked under by the screws), Mr. Long yanked off his khakis, knotted them at the cuffs and stayed afloat for 14-15 hours on his improvised water wings! The Russians hauled him aboard, confined him (while treating him well) and notified their chain of command starting in Vladivostok and working it’s way west around the world till it got back to us. Another long story short……we steamed out to retrieve him in exchange for tubs of ice cream and cartons of cigarettes. Mr. Long was a very lucky mofo…….and is why I always have a strong urge to take a pair of pants with me when I go swimming……..
 
riverman said:
True story...bell bottoms were invented for sailors to be used as flotation devices if you were overboard...tie a knot in each leg bell and smack them on the water then lie between the air bags and float....navy bootcamp exercise
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I learned this at the YMCA when I was 12.
 
crandc said:
Not fear of water exactly. I am extremely near sighted. When I was a child, they would take away my glasses and stick me in a pool. I couldn't see instructor, or where I was going, or bottom of pool so would freak.
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Aha, the coke bottle glasses syndrome.
 
crandc said:
I can't swim.
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What the heck? Dylan warned us of this in 1963:

Come gather ’round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You’ll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you is worth savin’
Then you better start swimmin’ or you’ll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin’

I think you'd better start taking him seriously and get some swimming lessons.
 
Chris Craig said:
It's not gonna rise that much....you won't be suddenly beach front property....I don't think. That would some bad bad flooding
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Did you ever see this map of the Portland area showing what it would look like if all of the earth's glaciers were to melt?
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riverman said:
I live in the foothills of the coastal range so if the seas rise I'll be living in a place that resembles Norway but the weather will be like Santa Barbara and I can finally grow avocados!
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I thought you lived in Idaho.
 
e_blazer said:
Did you ever see this map of the Portland area showing what it would look like if all of the earth's glaciers were to melt?
View attachment 39955
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Where is Lake Oswego? Don't tell me. I guess I'd better keep my bathing suit and my rubber ducky at the ready.
 
e_blazer said:
It’s now labeled “Strait Oswego”, so you’re going to need the boat.
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Alright, but I want a life jacket if I have to get in a boat with you or Sly.
 
e_blazer said:
What the heck? Dylan warned us of this in 1963:

Come gather ’round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You’ll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you is worth savin’
Then you better start swimmin’ or you’ll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin’

I think you'd better start taking him seriously and get some swimming lessons.
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Guess I will sink like a stone. You know cats don't swim.
 
SlyPokerDog said:
I thought you were into cougars.
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Who do you think paid my way through college?
I had to work for that money. But you know me, I enjoy my work and it brings a smile to my face.
 
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