My Apology

[The_Lillard_King]

To all members of SportsTwo and the Blazers forum:

My name is Treat_of_Batum. You may not have heard of me, or you may have???? Some time ago I changed my screen name from it's_GO_time to Treaty_of_Batum. This may have confused some. I am writing this letter to all of you as an apology and an explanation for what happened.

DC, the man of the board, brought me into this board as "it's_GO_time", showing that he would take anyone on this board. Despite having no privledges or quality posts, he continued to allow me to post anywhere. In all my prior posting experience, I have been able create dumb posts with no direction and little to none substantive value and then change screen names so that posters don't relate the bad posts with me, as a result, I figured I could do that here too. My second explanation is I have no clue. I am unaware of the set up, how to type and visa versa. All this is completely my falut for being blatently ignorant when I post. Now that you have read my explanations, it is time for me to sincerely apologize to all of you. I cannot express my regret of my actions that I switched names and caused slight confusion among a few posters. I very much enjoy SportsTwo, and I cannot believe I would do something so stupid. I am so, so sorry for what I have done, and it WILL NOT happen again unless of course Batum gets traded or I want to distance my self form ToB's posts. But as I told anyone who would listen, if I were to screw up again, I would EXPECT to be permanently ban me from SportsTwo as Treaty_of_Batum and reinvented again as either it's_GO_time or the_B's_kness with my own IP address as well. So once again, I am so very sorry to all of you for interrupting your conversations, for upsetting you, and for my wrongful actions in general.

PS. I will not be banned from S2 but will be placing myself in protective care.

Sincerly,
ToB

 

[PapaG]

Incomplete without a Kiss_My_Darius reference.

Greatest screen name in history, btw.

 

[The_Lillard_King]

Incomplete without a Kiss_My_Darius reference.

Greatest screen name in history, btw.

Better than Kiss_My_Cheeks?

 

[KevinJBonn]

Great. I'm sure you have my IP address too now.

 

[jlprk]

Spud says she'll accept your apology the usual way tomorrow, but she's busy right now.

 

[Mic2]

Funny, making fun of me when you can't get your username spelled correctly in the first sentence.

 

[huevonkiller]

Chill.

 

[Mic2]

no. im done here.

 

[KevinJBonn]

Christing hell. Someone please confirm that I wasn't acting like an idiot about this? If I was please let me know. It's following my email inbox everywhere.

 

[huevonkiller]

no. im done here.

Yeah get out then.

 

[VanillaGorilla]

Fuck yeah huevonkiller. Our hero!

 

[3RA1N1AC]

people who change their usernames should be banned for life

 

[blue32]

wtf is going on around this board now? seriously. its like young and the restless on here with this shit..

 

[3RA1N1AC]

wtf is going on around this board now? seriously. its like young and the restless on here with this shit..

im sure someone will apologize to you, and then kidnap your half brother who is secretly your fathers gay lover

 

[blue32]

im sure someone will apologize to you, and then kidnap your half brother who is secretly your fathers gay lover

I don't know whether to laugh or be afraid, very very afraid....

 

[3RA1N1AC]

its not too weird, its your half brother from your mothers side

 

[44Thrilla]

apology accepted

 

[BBert]

Better than Kiss_My_Cheeks?

Yes. Kiss_My_Darius was one of my all-time favorite names. Kiss_My_Cheeks was too obvious.

 

[3RA1N1AC]

Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything–I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.


Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas talking about their workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man's man, too–big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck. He didn't seem the least bit gay. At least not until he started sucking my cock, that is.


Where does this queer get the nerve to suck my cock? Did I look gay to him? Was I wearing a pink feather boa without realizing it? I don't recall the phrase, "Suck my cock" entering the conversation, and I don't have a sign around my neck that reads, "Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My Cock."


I've got nothing against homosexuals. Let them be free to do their gay thing in peace, I say. But when they start sucking my cock, then I've got a real problem.


Then there was the time I was hiking through the woods and came across a rugged-looking, blond-haired man in his early 30s. He seemed straight enough to me while we were bathing in that mountain stream, but, before you know it, he's sucking my cock!


What is it with these homos? Can't they control their sexual urges? Aren't there enough gay cocks out there for them to suck on without them having to target normal people like me?


Believe me, I have no interest in getting my cock sucked by some queer. But try telling that to the guy at the beach club. Or the one at the video store. Or the one who catered my wedding. Or any of the countless other homos who've come on to me recently. All of them sucked my cock, and there was nothing I could do to stop them.


I tell you, when a homosexual is sucking your cock, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those fantastic boots?


It screws with your head at other times, too. Every time a man passes me on the street, I'm afraid he's going to grab me and drag me off to some bathroom to suck my cock. I've even started to visualize these repulsive cock-sucking episodes during the healthy, heterosexual marital relations I enjoy with my wife–even some that haven't actually happened, like the sweaty, post-game locker-room tryst with Vancouver Canucks forward Mark Messier that I can't seem to stop thinking about.


Things could be worse, I suppose. It could be women trying to suck my cock, which would be adultery and would make me feel tremendously guilty. As it is, I'm just angry and sickened. But believe me, that's enough. I don't know what makes these homosexuals mistake me for a guy who wants his cock sucked, and, frankly, I don't want to know. I just wish there were some way to get them to stop.


I've tried all sorts of things to get them to stop, but it has all been to no avail. A few months back, I started wearing an intimidating-looking black leather thong with menacing metal studs in the hopes that it would frighten those ***gots off, but it didn't work. In fact, it only seemed to encourage them. Then, I really started getting rough, slapping them around whenever they were sucking my cock, but that failed, too. Even pulling out of their mouths just before ejaculation and shooting sperm all over their face, neck, chest and hair seemed to have no effect. What do I have to do to get the message across to these swishes?


I swear, if these homosexuals don't take a hint and quit sucking my cock all the time, I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures–like maybe pinning them down to the cement floor of the loading dock with my powerful forearms and working my cock all the way up their butt so they understand loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome advances. I mean, you can't get much more direct than that.

the onion

 

[SlyPokerDog]

OMG! That was just wrong.... so very wrong.