My daughter is Gay: I'm so confused

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magnifier661

magnifier661

B-A-N-A-N-A-S!
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I am questioning how I need to set rules for a gay daughter. I mean it's easy when they are straight because if a guys over; you give a rule that their door stay open. And if they have girls over, they can keep the door closed.

So since she is gay, do I tell her if a girl is over she must keep the door open and if a guys over, she can be in her room with the door closed?

BTW: I totally respect her decision. I want whatever makes her happy.
 
My parents had an open-door policy that was genderless; I had to have the bedroom door open when I had friends over, period. It was simple, it didn't discriminate, and I was as okay as a teenager could be about it ("I hate you, now take me to the mall!"). Also a no lock policy.
 
Shouldn't matter. I have a gay daughter, too and the rules are the same for her as they are for her straight brother - the door stays open. End of discussion. Clear and consistent.

BNM
 
yeah, if you just make them "keep the door open" that just means all her pent up hormones will just go buckwild when you're out shopping or something. and then when you come home early.... :MARIS61:
 
EL PRESIDENTE said:
yeah, if you just make them "keep the door open" that just means all her pent up hormones will just go buckwild when you're out shopping or something. and then when you come home early.... :MARIS61:
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LOL

To me its not such a big deal if she's homosexual and going buck wild... she won't get pregnant.
 
yes. its a beautiful thing. embrace the lesbian sex.
 
I'm only kind of kidding though. just kind of show her you respect her to make the right decisions and she should respect you back (in theory).
 
EL PRESIDENTE said:
I'm only kind of kidding though. just kind of show her you respect her to make the right decisions and she should respect you back (in theory).
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Exactly. If your policy doesn't "see orientation", it'll be easier to respect.
 
EL PRESIDENTE said:
I'm only kind of kidding though. just kind of show her you respect her to make the right decisions and she should respect you back (in theory).
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Her and I have a very close and open relationship. I am leaning on giving her space as long as she respects my house. I just don't really know how I can handle it. I mean I'm no prude and don't think kissing and shit is bad; but sex is disrespectful in your parent's house.
 
You can't think its not going to happen when you're gone though. Teenagers have sex, it happens. out of sight, out of mind is what you need to be aiming for here.

But just like they don't want to see you and your fiancee/wife/whatever make out or hear the bed knocking...you don't want to see it either.
 
That's the crux of it; the practicality is they will have sex...

...god I don't want to have kids today. STRESS!
 
EL PRESIDENTE said:
You can't think its not going to happen when you're gone though. Teenagers have sex, it happens. out of sight, out of mind is what you need to be aiming for here.
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Another rule I have is no one who isn't my child is allowed in my house when I'm not home. And, it's not really about sex. It's a safety/liability issue. Accidents happen and sometimes kids do stupid stuff. I don't smother them, but I want to be home to help prevent mishaps and respond when they do happen. My kids have their friends over all the time, and I'm glad they do. I want them to have active social lives and lots of strong friendships.

BNM
 
magnifier661 said:
Her and I have a very close and open relationship. I am leaning on giving her space as long as she respects my house. I just don't really know how I can handle it. I mean I'm no prude and don't think kissing and shit is bad; but sex is disrespectful in your parent's house.
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Open door policy would be the best way to go. You should also have a discussion with her about your rules/expectations you have for her. It's wonderful you have a close and open relationship with your daughter. And that's evident when she tells you about her sexual orientation. It's a sign of respect. Keep her that way, Mags! It's becoming an endangered concept - children showing respect for their parents.
 
you should do a negative feedback thing. every time you can hear them having sex, you and your wifey have LOUDER sex to gross her out. she makes out with someone on the couch when you're there..you do the same thing and disgust her likewise.

:MARIS61:
 
EL PRESIDENTE said:
you should do a negative feedback thing. every time you can hear them having sex, you and your wifey have LOUDER sex to gross her out. she makes out with someone on the couch when you're there..you do the same thing and disgust her likewise.

:MARIS61:
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The neighbors... please think of the neighbors. :lol:
 
EL PRESIDENTE said:
you should do a negative feedback thing. every time you can hear them having sex, you and your wifey have LOUDER sex to gross her out. she makes out with someone on the couch when you're there..you do the same thing and disgust her likewise.
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Remind me never to sit on the couch at your house!

BNM
 
Mags,

If you don't mind me asking, how old is your daughter and when did she come out to you?

BNM
 
magnifier661 said:
She is 15 and she came out a year ago.
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My daughter is 17. She came out to me a little over two years ago a month after her 15th birthday. I was the first person she came out to. I was honored that she trusted me and felt close enough to me to come out. She didn't tell her mother, my ex-wife, for another four months. She was worried her mom wouldn't accept her due to her mom's religious beliefs. Of course, her mom accepted her and supports her and is questioning the religious beliefs she blindly accepted without question for nearly 50 years.

Her mom and her are now very close, and I'm glad. She may be my ex-wife, but we're still both parents to our children and partners in raising them.

BNM
 
Boob-No-More said:
My daughter is 17. She came out to me a little over two years ago a month after her 15th birthday. I was the first person she came out to. I was honored that she trusted me and felt close enough to me to come out. She didn't tell her mother, my ex-wife, for another four months. She was worried her mom wouldn't accept her due to her mom's religious beliefs. Of course, her mom accepted her and supports her and is questioning the religious beliefs she blindly accepted without question for nearly 50 years.

Her mom and her are now very close, and I'm glad. She may be my ex-wife, but we're still both parents to our children and partners in raising them.

BNM
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LMAO the similarities are crazy. My daughter told me first, but she actually thought I would take it harder because of my religious beliefs. She told her mom (my ex) and her mom freaked out. I was more understanding and from that point, we've been even more close.

I too feel honored my daughter can tell me anything. I love her so much!
 
good for you for being a good dad reguardless of her sexuality. How old is she and is she sure she is gay or just experimenting? At least she can't get knocked up amirght?
 
donkiez said:
good for you for being a good dad reguardless of her sexuality. How old is she and is she sure she is gay or just experimenting? At least she can't get knocked up amirght?
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That was funny because I actually said that to her. I said "At least you can't get pregnant!" We laughed.

I don't really know if she is experimenting. She still talks about guys she thinks are really cute; but I can tell her true attraction is woman.
 
Giving her a little space, ie door closed, isn't a bad idea either. I'm not talking about sex, but she may want to have conversations that are very deep with her friends or girlfriends, and giving her that space can help her grow into a well rounded adult. Make sure you are available to her, but be understanding that she may not want to share everything with you. Just knowing that you would be there if she chose to share will mean the world.
 
Boob-No-More said:
Shouldn't matter. I have a gay daughter, too and the rules are the same for her as they are for her straight brother - the door stays open. End of discussion. Clear and consistent.

BNM
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Our girls are only 7 and 9, and that's going to be how we treat it, too.
 
magnifier661 said:
LMAO the similarities are crazy. My daughter told me first, but she actually thought I would take it harder because of my religious beliefs. She told her mom (my ex) and her mom freaked out. I was more understanding and from that point, we've been even more close.

I too feel honored my daughter can tell me anything. I love her so much!
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That is awesome, Mags! I want my girls to have that security in their beliefs with me as they start to hit their teens and adulthood, too!
 
magnifier661 said:
LMAO the similarities are crazy. My daughter told me first, but she actually thought I would take it harder because of my religious beliefs. She told her mom (my ex) and her mom freaked out.
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That's because you know how guys are.


{Poasted via palm pilot}
 
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