My daughter is Gay: I'm so confused

[magnifier661]

Magnifier, first, I assume you talk to your kid(s) about sex issues in general. Do you expect them to remain virgins until marriage? It's not likely. Do you want them to wait for a certain age, or until they are committed to a person, or feel mature enough for the responsiblity of a sexual relationship? You really don't have to answer those questions here, but I'm guessing that you had ideas on the subject before your daughter came out. And they should not change (except pregnancy is not an issue). You don't say if you have other children. Can they have friends, with whom they are not romantically/sexually involved, in their rooms with door closed? Then same rules should apply here. Believe me, a lesbian, even with raging teen hormones, does NOT want to sleep with every girl/woman she meets! She may well have girl friends who are not "girlfriends", very possibly straight. So whatever rules you would have for a straight child should apply here.

Also, if she has problems with peers or teachers over being gay, are you prepared for that? If you have not done so, please contact PFLAG, Parents, Friends and Family of Gays, they are on line. I am 100% certain those parents have dealt with the same issues.

Hope that helps, feel free to PM me if you wish.

Thanks for the response. I agree that I want to be open with her sex life because its better to be open than hiding it from me. And I am talking about "having sex" not preference. I'll look into that group too! Really appreciate it!

 

[jlprk]

So out of 100 raped women; 10 are lesbians; then the lesbians shouldn't worry about abortion? That doesn't make sense.

I agree that your invented percentage doesn't make sense. If there's anyone to speak about hijacked threads, crandc would be the expert. Anyway, I'm all for sexual integration of the persuasions, as your family practices, which is why I oppose all this artificial hatred between sexual orientations.

Speaking of reducing prison sentences to one-tenth of what they are now, here's the latest short article against the police state.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2012/12/14/one-way-to-trim-the-budget-prison-reform/

 

[crandc]

The elections are over, jlprk. We don't need any more men pontificating on what is or is not "legitimate rape".

Magnifier, glad if anything I said helped, I mean, so far as I know, I am the only one here who has actually experienced being a lesbian.

 

[BLAZINGGIANTS]

The elections are over, jlprk. We don't need any more men pontificating on what is or is not "legitimate rape".

Magnifier, glad if anything I said helped, I mean, so far as I know, I am the only one here who has actually experienced being a lesbian.

I am not a lesbian, but I do love women (and I look like a dude)! I consider it close enough.

(Sorry in advance for the poor taste of humor.)

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

 

[jlprk]

The elections are over, jlprk. We don't need any more men pontificating on what is or is not "legitimate rape".

Yes, we need more of your angry pontificating about how bad men are.

 

[Mediocre Man]

Boundaries are boundaries. When you thought she was straight, you wouldn't let your daughter have boys in her room, then you shouldn't let her have girls in her room now.

First things first though. Call for an exorcism to get rid of that lesbian demon inside her. Then maybe some shock therapy anytime she makes eye contact with another female.

 

[Mediocre Man]

The elections are over, jlprk. We don't need any more men pontificating on what is or is not "legitimate rape".

Magnifier, glad if anything I said helped, I mean, so far as I know, I am the only one here who has actually experienced being a lesbian.

How dare you. I have more experience via film than you'll ever have. Just because someone didn't play in the NBA, doesn't mean they won't be a good coach, amIright?

 

[mook]

Awesome to see being a dad done right, mags. Hope when my sons are that old they feel free talking to me about it if one of them is gay.

Although I've had gay friends and gay roommates, I'm not sure how well I'll handle it if one of my sons tells me he's gay. I mean, I know I'll say all the correct things. But I'm really, really close with my older son, to the point where he reads my face like an open book. (He's only 7.) I want my boys to have wives/girlfriends because it's what I did--I think it's only natural to hope your kids do the same things you do. I'm honest enough with myself to know that an instant of doubt or disbelief or maybe even dread could cross my face in that kind of conversation.

I like GOD's anecdote about how his parents handled it. I'll probably start a conversation like that preemptively. Seems like I'd probably handle it better if I'm not surprised by it.

 

[magnifier661]

Awesome to see being a dad done right, mags. Hope when my sons are that old they feel free talking to me about it if one of them is gay.

Although I've had gay friends and gay roommates, I'm not sure how well I'll handle it if one of my sons tells me he's gay. I mean, I know I'll say all the correct things. But I'm really, really close with my older son, to the point where he reads my face like an open book. (He's only 7.) I want my boys to have wives/girlfriends because it's what I did--I think it's only natural to hope your kids do the same things you do. I'm honest enough with myself to know that an instant of doubt or disbelief or maybe even dread could cross my face in that kind of conversation.

I like GOD's anecdote about how his parents handled it. I'll probably start a conversation like that preemptively. Seems like I'd probably handle it better if I'm not surprised by it.

Don't get me wrong. I was a little shocked when she came to me; but in the end I just wanted what's best for her. She knows where I stand with her choice, as being something I wouldn't want; but I think I earned the deepest respect when I handled it the way I did.

She told me last year and currently we run jokes about it. I mean I see a hot girl and I look at her and say "Dang, you see that hotness?!?!" She laughs and says "I don't look at girls like men do!" Hahahaha

 

[MARIS61]

Treat her the same way you did before she told you she was gay.

 

[VanillaGorilla]

Treat her the same way you did before she told you she was gay.

Agreed. What's the difference?

 

[Mediocre Man]

Treat her the same way you did before she told you she was gay.

He can't really do that, or he will be a hypocrite. If he wouldn't allow his straight daughter to have boys in her room, then he shouldn't allow is gay daughter to have girls in her room. However, before he knew she was gay, he probably had no problem with that

 

[magnifier661]

He can't really do that, or he will be a hypocrite. If he wouldn't allow his straight daughter to have boys in her room, then he shouldn't allow is gay daughter to have girls in her room. However, before he knew she was gay, he probably had no problem with that

this.

But my daughter seems really respectful and doesn't seem to take advantage of the situation.

 

[MARIS61]

He can't really do that, or he will be a hypocrite. If he wouldn't allow his straight daughter to have boys in her room, then he shouldn't allow is gay daughter to have girls in her room. However, before he knew she was gay, he probably had no problem with that

Since she's 15, he's closing the barn door after the horse escaped. Either you respect a teen's PRIVACY, or they'll find it elsewhere.

 

[VanillaGorilla]

Since she's 15, he's closing the barn door after the horse escaped. Either you respect a teen's PRIVACY, or they'll find it elsewhere.

As a recent teen, I can confirm this as true.