Nobody came to my 7 year old nephew's birthday party

[mook]

My brother (lives in another city, so I couldn't go) just posted this on Facebook:

Nothing breaks your heart more then 2:10pm, your boys 7th birthday party starts at 2:00pm, and no one shows up. Don't you RSVP when your coming, and not coming?

Poor kid.

I had a birthday party for my 5 year old about a month ago at a local gymnastics place, and all 5 kids we'd invited were about 10 minutes late. I was in utter panic mode. You can't imagine the sense of dread you feel as a parent when you sense things are about to fall apart for your kid.

Anyway, if you have kids and they get an invite for a birthday party, always always ALWAYS assume your child was the only one invited and make sure everybody knows your plans well in advance.

 

[Colonel Ronan]

That is so sad!

 

[maxiep]

A few years ago, I would have said to myself, "oh, that's a shame". Now that I'm a father, your post almost moves me to tears. Please let us know how your nephew is doing.

 

[mook]

I'm probably going to drive my sons over next weekend for a visit and they'll have a sleepover party. Hopefully in six months the poor guy remembers it as the time his cousins made a special trip out for his birthday. It's only about a three hour drive in good weather to get there, so it's not really that big a deal.

 

[PapaG]

My brother (lives in another city, so I couldn't go) just posted this on Facebook:


Poor kid.

I had a birthday party for my 5 year old about a month ago at a local gymnastics place, and all 5 kids we'd invited were about 10 minutes late. I was in utter panic mode. You can't imagine the sense of dread you feel as a parent when you sense things are about to fall apart for your kid.

Anyway, if you have kids and they get an invite for a birthday party, always always ALWAYS assume your child was the only one invited and make sure everybody knows your plans well in advance.

It's a fear every parent has for their kid. I feel terrible for your nephew.

The same thing that you experienced happened at my oldest daughter's 5th birthday party. We had Metro Gymnastics rented, and 10 minutes into our 90 minute window nobody was there. I was trying to make light of the situation, but I was nervous as hell, and you could almost sense the pity from the workers there. Then, all 6 kids showed up in the next few minutes. My wife then started putting down the "start" of our parties 15 minutes prior to when we want it to start. That seems to be working better. It's almost not worth it. I also make sure my girls are at other kids' parties 5 minutes early.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

that blows.

people are fucking dickwads nowadays when it comes to shit like this, totally wishy-washy with the RSVPs and evites and all that crap.

as a single guy, this kind of shit just seems why it sucks to have kids and wifey'd up, having to be dragged to all these kind of parties with other kids (or "wine tasting parties") and fake conversations with other parents and crap. Whenever at parties, like housewarming and shit like that, I'm usually like one of the first ones there, people come in like 2-3 hours AFTER the stated time on the invite, so fucked. Then you always have the couples who "have another party to go to" and just make a "cameo".


If you're not going to go, don't RSVP for it and if you do show up on time. Not one person went? That's fucked up. Like Ralph Wiggum bad.

 

[Natebishop3]

I swear it's a shift in society. When I was a little kid, we did parties at Burger King because they had so many play structures. Now none of those places have places to play. I had the unfortunate timing of having a birthday on July 3rd, so a lot of people were out of town. My cousins birthday was right before Christmas, so not only were people out of town, but he got jipped on presents too.

Kids don't get out enough anymore, and I think this is a result of it. They were probably all at home playing video games.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

I swear it's a shift in society. When I was a little kid, we did parties at Burger King because they had so many play structures. Now none of those places have places to play. I had the unfortunate timing of having a birthday on July 3rd, so a lot of people were out of town. My cousins birthday was right before Christmas, so not only were people out of town, but he got jipped on presents too.

Kids don't get out enough anymore, and I think this is a result of it. They were probably all at home playing video games.

Its the parents fault. Even if the kids don't want to go, I remember as a kid, parents forced them to go.

 

[Colonel Ronan]

Its the parents fault. Even if the kids don't want to go, I remember as a kid, parents forced them to go.

What kid doesn't want to go to a birthday party?

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

What kid doesn't want to go to a birthday party?

A lot of them. Sometimes they don't like the kid or have weird hangups. There's always those "blacklisted" (not saying mook's newphew is one) kid who kids don't want to associate with for some weird reason.

 

[PapaG]

I swear it's a shift in society. When I was a little kid, we did parties at Burger King because they had so many play structures. Now none of those places have places to play. I had the unfortunate timing of having a birthday on July 3rd, so a lot of people were out of town. My cousins birthday was right before Christmas, so not only were people out of town, but he got jipped on presents too.

Kids don't get out enough anymore, and I think this is a result of it. They were probably all at home playing video games.

My birthday is on July 4th. Luckily, we had big family BBQs, so I got a lot of cash from relatives/friends that were guilt-tripped into doling it out. I wouldn't trade my birthday for any other date. Now that I'm older, my kids always make sure to tell everybody it's my birthday. We're usually at Lake of the Woods over the 4th.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

My birthday is on July 4th. Luckily, we had big family BBQs, so I got a lot of cash from relatives/friends that were guilt-tripped into doling it out. I wouldn't trade my birthday for any other date. Now that I'm older, my kids always make sure to tell everybody it's my birthday. We're usually at Lake of the Woods over the 4th.

Mine is usually around thanksgiving. Better than the 4th....its thanksgiving so everyone is generous, yet its far enough from christmas I don't get combined gifts. Usually have vacation on my bday and the most number of family and friends around at that time too.

 

[PapaG]

A lot of them. Sometimes they don't like the kid or have weird hangups. There's always those "blacklisted" (not saying mook's newphew is one) kid who kids don't want to associate with for some weird reason.

My daughter got invited to a girl in her Brownie troop's 8th birthday last week. I had never met the girl or the parents, and my daughter told me that "she is the one who runs around all meeting and calls us names". My oldest is a pretty reserved and quiet kid, so I believe her since she is so observant. Luckily, she had prior plans on Saturday, so we didn't have to make a decision on this party.

 

[Paxil]

Mook... tell you brother or his significant other to pick up the phone prior to the party to find out who is coming. One of my kids just turned 7 and no way would we go into a party not knowing who would be showing up. Yeah stuff happens and people may have last minute change of plans... but dang. We found out that not many of his friends from school would be able to come and recruited some nephews cousins... kids off the street that we paid $10 =) to make sure he had some kids there.

 

[hasoos]

Hell they always advertise Blaze as available for Birthday parties. Don't you want Blaze at your house for a few hours?

I have threatened to invite him to my friends birthday parties as a laugh. Or maybe the Blazer dancers, although that might get them in "Wifey" trouble....

 

[Charcoal Filtered]

As a parent, you have to know if anyone is going to show up. Leaving it to chance with parents you do not know leaves too much probability of something like this happening.

Ran into a similiar situation with a couple that I used to bowl with. The girl I was seeing at the time was a huge kid lover and we found out that it was just us that was going to be attending when we called before leaving the house. Got her a bike and some activities to play with in addition to the gift we already bought. We started with the activities and explained to her that maybe her classmates had other things planned. It helped cheer her up, but the bike put it over the top.

 

[PapaG]

As a parent, you have to know if anyone is going to show up. Leaving it to chance with parents you do not know leaves too much probability of something like this happening.

Ran into a similiar situation with a couple that I used to bowl with. The girl I was seeing at the time was a huge kid lover and we found out that it was just us that was going to be attending when we called before leaving the house. Got her a bike and some activities to play with in addition to the gift we already bought. We started with the activities and explained to her that maybe her classmates had other things planned. It helped cheer her up, but the bike put it over the top.

My experience at Metro Gymnastics was with the 6 kids out of 10 invited who RSVP'd. My wife even double-checks RSVP's prior to parties by phone or email. Still, you can never rule out the flake factor in terms of other parents. Until the kids show up, I still am always a bit nervous for my girls.

 

[mook]

Mook... tell you brother or his significant other to pick up the phone prior to the party to find out who is coming. One of my kids just turned 7 and no way would we go into a party not knowing who would be showing up. Yeah stuff happens and people may have last minute change of plans... but dang. We found out that not many of his friends from school would be able to come and recruited some nephews cousins... kids off the street that we paid $10 =) to make sure he had some kids there.

Yeah, the wife and I were discussing that for our kids' next parties. Next time we make up the RSVP cards, we're going to require a phone number on there so we can call before the event and confirm again. In the past these were just friends from daycare and we had no way of knowing their phone numbers.

The thing that really sucks is my brother lives in a small town (LaGrande) and knows everybody. He does tons of favors for people. He's just one of those guys who bends over backwards to help out. Only guy who shows up for PTA meetings. I wonder how many of his neighbors he's helped out screwed him over....

 

[barfo]

Interesting. Being childless, I was unaware of this issue. Being childless, no one wants to hear my opinion on this, but here it is.

1) Maybe it would be better not to plan such birthday parties? People gots lots to do without social events that no one really wants to go to. If you've got a few kids and your kids all have friends, you aren't doing much in life except going to children's birthday parties. Just say no.

2) Glad I'm childless. Being expected to go to some kid's birthday party so that said kid won't be disappointed would piss me off.

barfo

 

[Charcoal Filtered]

My experience at Metro Gymnastics was with the 6 kids out of 10 invited who RSVP'd. My wife even double-checks RSVP's prior to parties by phone or email. Still, you can never rule out the flake factor in terms of other parents. Until the kids show up, I still am always a bit nervous for my girls.

I think you did it the right way and would have been sweating bullets too.

It may be due to my kids being only 2.5 and 1, but they have only been to one birthday party. We will not even consider the ones at Chuckie Cheese and agreed to our only one since it was at a gymastics place. All the kids loved it. Our thinking is that they do not know any different right now and have something simple with just us at the house.

When they get older, we hope to just do something simple like taking them out to dinner and let them take a friend along.

 

[mook]

Interesting. Being childless, I was unaware of this issue. Being childless, no one wants to hear my opinion on this, but here it is.

1) Maybe it would be better not to plan such birthday parties? People gots lots to do without social events that no one really wants to go to. If you've got a few kids and your kids all have friends, you aren't doing much in life except going to children's birthday parties. Just say no.

2) Glad I'm childless. Being expected to go to some kid's birthday party so that said kid won't be disappointed would piss me off.

barfo

Yeah, the parties do kind of suck. Usually no booze, and you are stuck talking to a bunch of strangers you have no interest in.

I happen to really like kids, so I wind up spending all the time hanging out with them. I think it kind of annoys the other parents because they think it makes them look bad/uninvolved, but I just find kids much more interesting.

Our older boy has been really shy up until the past year or so. So for his first big birthday party it was kind of cool seeing him deal with being the center of attention.

 

[mook]

Suddenly I remember drawing this about 8 months ago for a shirt design. Had written underneath it, "Nobody came to Jeff's party."

 

[Charcoal Filtered]

I wonder how many of his neighbors he's helped out screwed him over....

I would have your brother review the list of people he invited. Him being the only one in the PTA throws up alot of red flags for me.

1. I know that when I was without kids, I would not have placed as much importance on it.


2. With some that had kids, buying a present may have been an issue. If they were not close with the parents and kids, it can be rough spending money every weekend on presents that may or may not even be liked.

3. For my kid to go to a birthday party, it has to fit in with our schedule. Our kids are very young and I am a stay at home dad. We get alot of time together, yet our weekends are still reserved for the zoo, Children's Museum, and other activities that feed thier imagination and family bonding. As they get older, my wife and I are probably going to get more protective of our family weekends.

If my kids have 19 classmates each, I am definitely not going to be going to 38 extra birthday parties a year.

 

[mook]

I think he invited 6 or 7 kids. He says he's inviting the whole class next time, but I think that's an incredibly bad idea. I wouldn't go to 19 parties either.

I don't know what being a PTA member has to do with much, other than he's involved in his kids' school life as much as he can. Is there a stigma about guys joining the PTA?

Anyway, I don't think he was annoyed that people didn't show. He's annoyed that they said the would, and then didn't.

 

[Charcoal Filtered]

I don't know what being a PTA member has to do with much, other than he's involved in his kids' school life as much as he can. Is there a stigma about guys joining the PTA?

Anyway, I don't think he was annoyed that people didn't show. He's annoyed that they said the would, and then didn't.

Nothing wrong with being on the PTA and your brother is doing the right thing. With the other parents not participating, it looks bad on them IMO.

If they said yes to being there, he has every right to be pissed. Agree that you definitely do not invite the whole class.

 

[Charcoal Filtered]

He says he's inviting the whole class next time, but I think that's an incredibly bad idea.

I would tell him to concentrate on just making it a special day. When I was growing up, I could sense when my parent's tried too hard and it ruined those occasions for me. The few times I had non-family at birthdays or overspending for Christmas come to mind. The times I cherish the most were the birthdays with my family and little things like my mom bringing cupcakes and cider to school. Had a big family, so just seeing cousins that I infrequently got to see was enough as was seeing my mom during school hours.

 

[julius]

That just sucks. I remember as a kid being on the other end of this kind of stuff. I was hardly ever invited to parties, and the few times I was I stood out like a sore thumb. My parents weren't part of the "clique" that the other parents were and didn't hang out with the other parents. Of course, the ironic thing is my dad was the only father who actually would take the time to be our coach for sports.

 

[Minstrel]

I'm not a parent, so this is not obvious to me but...why are so many children's parties held in "gymnastics places?" I had never heard that before and when I was kid, that wasn't the case for me or any of the kids I knew. But in this thread, 3-4 people have referenced birthday parties in "gymnastics places."

I understand that it's a large area, but that still seems a little random...parks, event centers, pizza places, etc, are where I'd have assumed parents would use/rent large spaces for such things.

 

[MickZagger]

I think I had like 10 birthdays in a row at the Wunderland at Jantzen Beach.

 

[mook]

I'm not a parent, so this is not obvious to me but...why are so many children's parties held in "gymnastics places?" I had never heard that before and when I was kid, that wasn't the case for me or any of the kids I knew. But in this thread, 3-4 people have referenced birthday parties in "gymnastics places."

I understand that it's a large area, but that still seems a little random...parks, event centers, pizza places, etc, are where I'd have assumed parents would use/rent large spaces for such things.

Gymnastics places are a major improvement over the pizza places/Chuck E Cheeses of my childhood. Much more exercise and interaction between the kids, instead of staring at video games and being stuck at the table. Also, because you rent a time slot, you have to be done in 90 minutes with the whole thing, meaning it can't string on interminably. At 90 minutes, you shrug and look at the other parents and get the fuck out of there.

I just wish they served beer to the adults there.....