Onion: Bill Simmons Releases 2,000-Page Book Exploring How Fucking Clever He Is

[VanillaGorilla]

BOSTON—Grantland and ESPN sports columnist Bill Simmons has written a new book titled Wit, Brilliance, Insight, Simmons, a semiautobiographical amalgam of sports, pop culture, and American history as seen through the unique lens of how goddamn ingenious Simmons is.

Wit, Brilliance, Insight, Simmons contains 2,096 pages; 84 chapters; 344 charts, tables, and graphs; 186 photographs of Simmons standing next to former Celtics players, sitcom actors, or Barack Obama; six appendices, including one explaining the book's more than 16,000 obscure but undeniably apt references; and an exhaustive index cataloguing mentions of more than 700 Boston athletes, 600 athletes from other cities or regions, and 500 television characters, as well as 6,000 mentions of Simmons himself.

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[PtldPlatypus]

Bad link

http://www.theonion.com/articles/bill-simmons-releases-2000page-book-exploring-how,28666/

 

[BrianFromWA]

I'd buy it.

 

[PtldPlatypus]

I really enjoyed this paragraph:

What I really love about my writing—and believe me there's a lot I love about it—is that my love for my writing comes across in what I've written," Simmons said while signing books for party attendees, some of whom had reportedly requested the honor. "I have in any case been told it does, sometimes at its oddest moments, and that, for me, is a source of great pride. But I confess what I'm most proud of are the comparisons to the greats: Damon Runyon, Ring Lardner, David Halberstam, John McPhee, Aaron Spelling. I'm really glad I was able to make those."

 

[PapaG]

Well done, Onion!

Still, Simmons is almost always a good read, IMO.

 

[chris_in_pdx]

The thing is, I wouldn't have been shocked if this was a real article. I wonder if Bill has seen it (what am I saying, of course he has).