(I originally made a whole thread for this but the mods was hatin on ya boy tryin to keep the black man down so I got redirected here.)
Whats good, its ya boy yung snugga, the big lova, here to talk to you kids about some real shit. If you ain't in the mood for the realness on this fine Wednesday afternoon I would suggest you get up from your seat and find your way to the nearest exit because this is a playa's only gathering. Champagne and lemonade in this mother fucker, step ya game up.
The internet is abuzz today with news that Indiana Pacers star Paul George got caught up in a paternity scandal. Now this is nothing new; it's almost a requirement at this point in the game that every big NBA star get the side chick pregnant. They don't even consider you for the HOF unless you got a couple crusty headed barefoot illegitimates walkin around, that's how fucked up it is out here.
Having a side chick(s) in the NBA is almost par for the course, but for some reason these guys cannot understand that the game is rigged against them. Now as yall already know, I got a PhD in these hoes, so I'm gonna take you kids play-by-play on where my mans PG went wrong, and where you little nut huggers need to take notes:
PG, my man, how you get a stripper pregnant - Come on son, that's some day one shit. Strippers are walking thirst traps for an NBA player like you; especially them south florida joints (AND you got a joint from Tootsie's: you couldn't spring for a KOD girl? Smh you ain't ballin PG ***** you broke). A lot of strippers prostitute on the side, that's nothing new. But just because she's a professional doesn't mean that you can now put your guard down. She was a prostitute allllll the way up until the point where you decided you wanted to go raw, and right in that moment she switched professions from stripper to professional baby mama. Now she on instagram straight stuntin on you my dude. Postin baby bumps, baby shower pictures, just fuckin with you at this point. I feel for you my *****, I really do. But you fucked up, hard, and now you gotta pay the consequences.
If you get the side chick pregnant, no amount of money up front is going to make her abort it - Apparently PG offered shorty a millie up front to drop that thun dun dun and get an abortion. That's an act of desperation; you know you're fucked. She's not stupid, she can do math, a million today ain't nothin like 25% of your income for the next two decades. She know you just signed that $90 million extension, believe that. If you was a D-Leaguer maybe you'd have more leverage. Unless you bout to throw this bitch down a flight of stairs (which I would highly suggest against), that baby is coming. AND its gonna be ugly. Good looks skip a generation oooo you mad
Not only did you cheat on your girl, your girl was DOC RIVERS' DAUGHTER - Now this is where the story crosses into “bruh” territory. First of all, Doc Rivers' daughter bad as shit. She a keeper son; she come from good people, she getting her education, she don't be out here in these streets, she a good girl. That's probably why you went and got some skripper. Young boy, the fuck wrong with you. When you got a good girl you don't do shit like that. Good girls don't come by NBA players often; 9 outta 10 you getting some money hungry thots on your D all the time and the one halfway decent keeper you fuck around and get some other bitch pregnant. And I HIGHLY doubt she gonna stick around, cause she bad as shit and some other ***** like Lance Stephenson gonna come and be that shoulder to cry on and evolve into the rebound, so you mad AGAIN. And now you done really fucked up cause Doc Rivers gonna beat your ass too. That next Pacers/Clippers game gonna be hilarious. Doc gonna let his whole bench foul out just whoopin yo ass son, you done fucked up. Everybody gonna whoop yo ass, Blake Griffin gonna whoop yo ass, Deandre gonna whoop yo ass, hell even JJ Reddick might get in a cheap shot or two.
You shaqtin-a-fool for this one PG. I know you young and you probably didn't know it was like this out here in these streets, but now you've learned the hard way. You woulda thought you would of learned from D-Wade, and from Dwight, and from alllllllllll these dudes get caught up. But no. The power of the pussy was too strong, and now you gonna have to pay for that shit. Ain't no pussy worth that much money kids, I don't care if its diamond encrusted and does Paul Wall's verse in “Still Tippin” in queefs. Not worth it kid, you dun goofed.
Keep it in ya pants.
