I don't blame you........
It took me an intense 10 years, before I'd let anyone, (and not just anyone) pack, and rig my gear, (when doing numerous jumps in a day)......
I've heard more than my share of horror stories, yet never saw a fatality with canopy Jumping, came damn close in a group jump, when the only girl in our group, could not pull her cord; when a fellow jumper saw her chute not open, he quickly made his way to her, (lucky he hadn't pulled his chute yet either, until he got to her, the only 2 who hadn't deployed); wasn't able to pull her cord either, so he took her down piggybacked, (locked his gear to hers***)..........another buddy jumped out and the turbulence slammed him back into the fuselage, knocked him out cold, yet was an easy recovery for those who still had yet to jump.....(I can do this all day).....
***No doubt a extremely courageous act, as I thought both were going to be fertilizer for Tumbleweeds, chutes opened around 2,000 feet.....
Now Wingsuit competitions, still a blast to watch, the only style of daredevil jumping, I haven't done YET, and have seen 2 casualties, both clipped the very same fkng canyon walls, in a very tight passage approximately a 20 foot pass b/t walls, and down they went, pushing up daisies, sad enough.....