Rumor #SecondCivilWar

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[BrianFromWA]

I get and enjoy reading these. I also saw video of riots in Portland b/c AntiFa doesn't like right-wing rallies. I haven't (and likely won't) ever watch something with Alex Jones on it, but I find it odd that so many people who don't agree with him do.

 

[CupWizier]

I get and enjoy reading these. I also saw video of riots in Portland b/c AntiFa doesn't like right-wing rallies. I haven't (and likely won't) ever watch something with Alex Jones on it, but I find it odd that so many people who don't agree with him do.

Same reason people slow down and gawk at a trainwreck.

 

[oldfisherman]

Blue hats invade red hat Idaho. Early report.

Pumped up on a Starbucks breakfast, the blue hats divided into two strike units.

The main unit made rapid progress, capturing vegetable garden after vegetable garden.

However, the special forces unit became bogged down in the mushroom fields. And are too widely dispursed to be affective.

The turning point in the battle came when a blue hat advance scout/spy was captured by the red hats.

Sadly, the blue hat scout, a French poodle, was tortured for info. She finally cracked at the sight of BBQ rib bones.

Using this new info, the Ted Nugent Brigade made a counter attack on the blue hats field HQ. The colonic herbal irrigation vehicle was captured, sending the blue hats in retreat.

The Nugent brigade were surprised to find large piles of supplies left behind. They had never seen so many hand rolled small cigars in one place..

After enjoying the spoils of war, the brigade is now taking a nap.

All is now quite on the battlefield.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[Rastapopoulos]

 

[BrianFromWA]

The other piece of this is that 99% of these people have never written a letter home from a combat zone.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

The other piece of this is that 99% of these people have never written a letter home from a combat zone.

Yet.

 

[MarAzul]

haven't (and likely won't) ever watch something with Alex Jones on it,

Me neither. Hell, I didn't even know which Jones you were speaking of when I read it. Had to look him up. Nope, Never watch that Jones.

Van Jones on the other hand is a channel change clue immediately. Need to change him out fast to avoid getting pissed off. You need to watch him some though to learn what he is, then repeats are not required.

When you said Alex Jones, I first thought Van Jones.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

Blue hats invade red hat Idaho. Early report.

Pumped up on a Starbucks breakfast, the blue hats divided into two strike units.

The main unit made rapid progress, capturing vegetable garden after vegetable garden.

However, the special forces unit became bogged down in the mushroom fields. And are too widely dispursed to be affective.

The turning point in the battle came when a blue hat advance scout/spy was captured by the red hats.

Sadly, the blue hat scout, a French poodle, was tortured for info. She finally cracked at the sight of BBQ rib bones.

Using this new info, the Ted Nuggent Brigade made a counter attack on the blue hats field HQ. The colonic herbal irrigation vehicle was captured, sending the blue hats in retreat.

The Nuggent brigade were surprised to find large piles of supplies left behind. They had never seen so many hand rolled small cigars in one place..

After enjoying the spoils of war, the brigade is now taking a nap.

All is now quite on the battlefield.

Funny about Nugent. Played the song Stranglehold on my way home from work last night. Started when I left my parking spot and the song ended right when I got to the gate at my neighborhood. 8 minutes and 22 seconds. Maybe half of how long the rednecks would take to end this war if it ever happened.

 

[oldfisherman]

Funny about Nugent. Played the song Stranglehold on my way home from work last night. Started when I left my parking spot and the song ended right when I got to the gate at my neighborhood. 8 minutes and 22 seconds. Maybe half of how long the rednecks would take to end this war if it ever happened.

If that long.

Thanks for the polite tune-up for my miss-spelling of Nugents name. My error, that was not intentional.

 

[theprunetang]

If that long.

Thanks for the polite tune-up for my miss-spelling of Nugents name. My error, that was not intentional.

I personally enjoyed the Nuggent version much more.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

I personally enjoyed the Nuggent version much more.

Nuggie is certifiable for sure. Song is still great.

 

[Lanny]

Can't stand hummus. How 'bout a Budweiser?

 

[Lanny]

Ha ha ha, that's from Django Unchained. Probably my favorite part of the movie.

 

[Lanny]

Ha ha, circa Puerto Rico.

 

[Lanny]

No teeth? That's Trump territory.

Edit: What junction? Covfefe? Is that even a word?

 

[riverman]

I could swing the vote of that entire crowd with a truck load of free beer and BBQ ribs....Know your enemy...that girl in the lime green with the dixie flag must be 7ft tall

 

[oldfisherman]

Civil war update.
0ldfisherman, neutral reporter, reporting.

Elements of the blue hat navy made a daring raid last night.

An undetermanied number of kayakers, known as the soggy sneakers corps, captured a grain shipping terminal.

The blue hats have a firm grip on the soybean silo. And refuse to leave.

There has been little activity all morning, other than the blue hats cooking fires. The red hats Ted Nugent Brigade is nowhere in sight.

The night watchmen observed the blue hats stuffing themselves with soybeans. But was not concerned, explaining.

All of the soybeans shipped from here is cattle feed. The soybean products the blue hats are used to consuming comes from Brazil. The soybean farms where the rainforest used to be.

When asked if there was a plan to remove the blue hats? He answered. No, they are not hurting anything. Plus they never made it to red hat Idaho. This silo is in WA state. The Idaho line is around the next bend. They probably wanted to attack the next silo upriver. We are going to spin this mistake as a training exercise.

 

[calvin natt]

Me neither. Hell, I didn't even know which Jones you were speaking of when I read it. Had to look him up. Nope, Never watch that Jones.

Van Jones on the other hand is a channel change clue immediately. Need to change him out fast to avoid getting pissed off. You need to watch him some though to learn what he is, then repeats are not required.

When you said Alex Jones, I first thought Van Jones.

Hm. Weird. Seems like one of the smartest and most reasonable people on tv. I guess that makes sense though

 

[MarAzul]

one of the smartest and most reasonable people on tv.

 

[RipCityDSCPL]

I could swing the vote of that entire crowd with a truck load of free beer and BBQ ribs....Know your enemy...that girl in the lime green with the dixie flag must be 7ft tall

It looks like she is standing up in a truck bed? You can see what looks like a tire in the bottom corner.

 

[oldfisherman]

Civil war update
Oldfisherman, neutral reporter, reporting

Red Hats retaliate.

The mountain battalion of the Ted Nugent brigade made a sneak attack today. They crossed the river into WA, and captured the Riverfort Brewing facility.

Riverfort bartender, Brandy Cher, reports. That was no sneak attack. We heard their snowmobiles before they tried to cross the river. Sadly, almost half of them didn't sink.

Missy Small, a reserve police officer, was called to duty to handle the situation.

When asked how she captured the remains of the battalion, her reply follows.

I'm a full time day care worker. Technics that work on two year olds work perfectly on the Nugent gang. Plus I went to school with most of their wives. If they ever want to laid again, they better keep doing what I tell them to do.

All of the battalions weapons will be donated to the local Boy Scout Camp. Their bows and arrows were getting worn out, so the timing was perfect.

All is quite on the battlefield again. Crews are busy recovering the sunken snowmobiles in the river. The only casualties were a keg of River Rat Red beer, and a keg of Seven Devils IPA.