OT She Just Wanted A Book Deal...

[ABM]

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news...-discovered-alive-in-body-bag-at-funeral-home

'Dead' woman discovered alive in body bag at funeral home


A young woman who was declared dead at her suburban Detroit home opened her eyes at a funeral home as she was about to be embalmed, a lawyer has said.

“They would have begun draining her blood to be very, very frank about it,” Geoffrey Fieger told WXYZ-TV. Fieger, who was hired by the family, identified the woman as Timesha Beauchamp.

The Southfield fire department acknowledged it was involved in a bizarre set of events on Sunday that began when a medical crew was summoned to a home where a 20-year-old woman was unresponsive.

Paramedics tried to revive her for 30 minutes and consulted an emergency room doctor, the department said.

The doctor “pronounced the patient deceased based upon medical information provided” from the scene, the department said.

The Oakland county medical examiner’s office said the body could be released to the family without an autopsy, according to the fire department.

But then came a startling discovery at the James H Cole funeral home in Detroit: the woman was still alive more than an hour later.

“Our staff confirmed she was breathing” and called a emergency medical crew, the funeral home said.

Fieger said: “They were about to embalm her, which is most frightening, had she not had her eyes open ... The funeral home unzipping the body bag, literally that’s what happened to Timesha, and seeing her alive with her eyes open.”

 

[Chris Craig]

Must have scared the living shit out of the embalmer

 

[Chris Craig]

Quite a fuck up for the doctor who pronounced her dead

 

[Chris Craig]

And yes, a huge settlement and a book deal are probably on the way. Coming in 2021: My Life As A Corpse

 

[theprunetang]

So this is how we first start to learn that Covid IS actually the beginning of the zombie apocalypse.

 

[riverman]

So this is how we first start to learn that Covid IS actually the beginning of the zombie apocalypse.

Or the best way to wake up a drunk woman is to put her naked on a cold steel table

 

[TorturedBlazerFan]

So this is how we first start to learn that Covid IS actually the beginning of the zombie apocalypse.

Zombies does seem appropriate for the 2020 bingo card...

 

[Lanny]

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news...-discovered-alive-in-body-bag-at-funeral-home

'Dead' woman discovered alive in body bag at funeral home


A young woman who was declared dead at her suburban Detroit home opened her eyes at a funeral home as she was about to be embalmed, a lawyer has said.

“They would have begun draining her blood to be very, very frank about it,” Geoffrey Fieger told WXYZ-TV. Fieger, who was hired by the family, identified the woman as Timesha Beauchamp.

The Southfield fire department acknowledged it was involved in a bizarre set of events on Sunday that began when a medical crew was summoned to a home where a 20-year-old woman was unresponsive.

Paramedics tried to revive her for 30 minutes and consulted an emergency room doctor, the department said.

The doctor “pronounced the patient deceased based upon medical information provided” from the scene, the department said.

The Oakland county medical examiner’s office said the body could be released to the family without an autopsy, according to the fire department.

But then came a startling discovery at the James H Cole funeral home in Detroit: the woman was still alive more than an hour later.

“Our staff confirmed she was breathing” and called a emergency medical crew, the funeral home said.

Fieger said: “They were about to embalm her, which is most frightening, had she not had her eyes open ... The funeral home unzipping the body bag, literally that’s what happened to Timesha, and seeing her alive with her eyes open.”

That reminds me of a story my ex wife told me when she was in nursing school. So, she had to have some practical experience as part of her training in Emanuelle Hospital's nursing program. She had to go into a room full of dead bodies who were covered. It was dark in the room when suddenly a dead body rose up and turned out to be alive. I'll presume the victim lived a long life thereafter.

A friend of mine was a pall bearer at a funeral on a cold wintry day. He was holding on to the coffin as the procession went up some icy steps at the cemetery. Suddenly, someone slipped and fell down on the ice. Almost as suddenly everyone else slipped and fell down. The coffin hit the ground and started sliding. It accelerated as it slid down the icy concrete. It actually slid across the street and through a pharmacy plate glass window. It finally came to a halt at the pharmacy counter when the lid pops open and the victim rises up and says to the pharmacist "Hey buddy, you got anything to stop this coffin'?"
Oh come on, that was funny.

 

[ABM]

That reminds me of a story my ex wife told me when she was in nursing school. So, she had to have some practical experience as part of her training in Emanuelle Hospital's nursing program. She had to go into a room full of dead bodies who were covered. It was dark in the room when suddenly a dead body rose up and turned out to be alive. I'll presume the victim lived a long life thereafter.

A friend of mine was a pall bearer at a funeral on a cold wintry day. He was holding on to the coffin as the procession went up some icy steps at the cemetery. Suddenly, someone slipped and fell down on the ice. Almost as suddenly everyone else slipped and fell down. The coffin hit the ground and started sliding. It accelerated as it slid down the icy concrete. It actually slid across the street and through a pharmacy plate glass window. It finally came to a halt at the pharmacy counter when the lid pops open and the victim rises up and says to the pharmacist "Hey buddy, you got anything to stop this coffin'?"
Oh come on, that was funny.

Groan. Hey, when we have our little dinner, I sure do hope you refrain from telling joke like this!

 

[Lanny]

Groan. Hey, when we have our little dinner, I sure do hope you refrain from telling joke like this!

I've got a ton of 'em.

 

[jlprk]

That reminds me of a story my ex wife told me when she was in nursing school. So, she had to have some practical experience as part of her training in Emanuelle Hospital's nursing program. She had to go into a room full of dead bodies who were covered. It was dark in the room when suddenly a dead body rose up and turned out to be alive. I'll presume the victim lived a long life thereafter.

A friend of mine was a pall bearer at a funeral on a cold wintry day. He was holding on to the coffin as the procession went up some icy steps at the cemetery. Suddenly, someone slipped and fell down on the ice. Almost as suddenly everyone else slipped and fell down. The coffin hit the ground and started sliding. It accelerated as it slid down the icy concrete. It actually slid across the street and through a pharmacy plate glass window. It finally came to a halt at the pharmacy counter when the lid pops open and the victim rises up and says to the pharmacist "Hey buddy, you got anything to stop this coffin'?"
Oh come on, that was funny.

There's no punchline, so the first paragraph is true?

 

[Lanny]

There's no punchline, so the first paragraph is true?

"Hey buddy, you got anything to stop this coffin'?