DEAR RAYMOND FELTON,
YOU REALLY HURT US LAST YEAR WITH YOUR LACK OF EFFORT AND FREQUENT TURNOVERS CAUSED BY YOUR LARGE FRAMED BODY. I KNOW YOUR METABOLISM IS SLOW AND YOU WERE PROBABLY THE LAST ONE PICKED ON THE PLAYGROUND, BUT I JUST MADE THIS SIGN TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I DISAGREE WITH YOUR LIFESTYLE (NO HOMO). SO, IF YOU SEE THIS, I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD, BUT I WOULD STILL ORALLY SERVICE YOU IF GIVEN THE CHANCE.
YOUR MUSE,
SLY POKER DOG, ESQUIRE.