Simmons wouldn't play for Portland!

[Wizard Mentor]

From http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/100813 ,

Type No. 2: The "I'd Rather Not Play At All Than Play For You Schmucks" Holdout

As perfected by Eli Manning (forced his way from San Diego to New York), John Elway (Baltimore to Denver), Bo Jackson (Tampa to Oakland) and Eric Lindros (Quebec to Philly). My favorite holdout because it's such a slap in the face to the city involved; the guy could show up 58 years later and they'd still boo him. Also, it's a good ethical argument: Can you really blame any of those guys for doing everything they could to find a more desirable situation? Did you see that "30 for 30" documentary about the Colts leaving Baltimore? Would you have wanted to play for Robert Irsay?

For instance, I love visiting Seattle and Portland -- two of my favorite cities in America, actually -- but could never live in the Pacific Northwest because nonstop rain puts me in a perpetual funk. If Portland drafted me No. 1 in a Sports Columnist draft, and I knew I could hold out for a few months and force them to trade me to San Diego, Miami or Los Angeles ... you're telling me I wouldn't hold out? Please. In a heartbeat. I need the sun. Sorry, Portland. It's not you, it's me.

A couple of points:
1) I don't want Bill Simmons!
2) Portland Annual Rainfall: 37.5 in, Chicago Annual Rainfall: 35.1. Chicago winters suck, and Portland has one of the mildest climates in the nation. However, Portland is cloudy a lot, and depression is higher there than average.
3) BS has a point in that Portland is at a strategic disadvantage in acquiring and retaining talent.

I've thought about the last point a lot since LBJ signed in Miami. If I'm a player (especially one who considers himself a "playuh"), I want to sign in a place that
a) Has a good chance at winning
b) Has good weather
c) Has low taxes
d) Is close to home
e) Has a good opportunity to make extra income (e.g. endorsements)

I really think Minny is at the biggest disadvantage. The Canadian teams are at a pretty big disadvantage. Miami/Orlando, NY/LA, Texas teams are at a pretty large advantage. Portland is much closer to the Minny end of the spectrum than the Florida/Texas/NY/LA teams.

 

[Pinwheel1]

Doesn't this fucking asshole live in Boston? What a hypocrite. Shouldn't he have held out for the LA Times? I admit I like living in sunny California. And I admit Boston is a great city. But the weather in Boston is not a selling point.

 

[donkiez]

Its not how much it rains in Portland that makes it crappy, its how it rains. Other cities get all their rain in a day or two, we get the same amount of rain constantly over a week or two. It just kind of spits at you for days and days. Add the cloud cover and short days and its gets very dreary for long periods. The summers make it more than worth it though.

 

[Nhawz]

Bill Simmons is a Jerk Off!

 

[axs88]

Doesn't this fucking asshole live in Boston? What a hypocrite. Shouldn't he have held out for the LA Times? I admit I like living in sunny California. And I admit Boston is a great city. But the weather in Boston is not a selling point.

He lives in LA.

 

[Pinwheel1]

He lives in LA.

Did not know that. So he isn't a hypocrite. (Still a fucking asshole)
Bottom line he could have used his "beloved" Boston as the example instead of Portland. But he enjoys taking shots at us. I travel a lot for work, and Portland is no worse then any of the other northern markets in terms of weather. (I don't consider Denver a northern market-they have a lot of clear days) But the whole Midwest and NE sucks.

 

[44Thrilla]

Maybe he enjoys taking shots at you because you're so sensitive and will make a big deal about him criticizing something as trivial as the weather? Either way, I think he sucks and don't bother reading anything he writes.

 

[Pinwheel1]

Maybe he enjoys taking shots at you because you're so sensitive and will make a big deal about him criticizing something as trivial as the weather? Either way, I think he sucks and don't bother reading anything he writes.

Really? That's why he does it. What is he like 12 years old. At some point it gets old.

As I said I travel quite a bit for work and when they find out I am originally from Portland they often ask. "Does it really rain every day there?" I feel like saying "yes you fucking moron every single day".

Ever notice when a Oregon football game is nationally or regionally televised and the same TV announcers say "Welcome to Eugene Oregon, on a rare sunny day" Yet they say it every time they come up for a fall game? Don't think these types of embellishments don't have an effect on recruiting. Both for the Oregon schools and free agents for the Blazers.

 

[44Thrilla]

Really? That's why he does it. What is he like 12 years old. At some point it gets old.

Yah, that's why I don't waste time with his garbage. As annoying as he probably is to you as a Portland fan, he's 10 times worse to a Boston fan like me. I hate him.

 

[BlazerCaravan]

The most depressed city stat is really a misnomer because the study that produced that headline looked at most prescriptions for anti-depressants per capita. So really, we should be the least depressed because we're the most treated. That's like calling a place the worst at managing it's money because it has the most accountants per capita.

 

[illmatic99]

Portland weather in the winter blows. But at least it's better than Cleveland.... most of the time.

 

[Paxil]

During the season they are traveling half the time... and outside of the NBA season the weather is pretty damn amazing here. I have lived in New Jersey, Georgia, Texas and Alaska... and spent enough time other places to really appreciate what we have here. If you live somewhere where it is 80 and sunny every day 80 and sunny gets annoying. We have a perfect balance of seasons in my mind.

 

[Ed O]

Simmons is a moron (and, like 44Thrilla, I never read his stuff) but the weather in Portland (and, in Seattle where I am) is not for everyone. It's not a secret and I don't think any of us should take it personally.

Ed O.

 

[Pinwheel1]

Simmons is a moron (and, like 44Thrilla, I never read his stuff) but the weather in Portland (and, in Seattle where I am) is not for everyone. It's not a secret and I don't think any of us should take it personally.

Ed O.

It's not a question of taking it personally. (I don't live there) Nor is there much debate that the weather isn't the greatest. The point is that it is no worse than the cities in the Midwest and the NE where it is cold, windy, and miserable Nov 1st through the middle of April. (Basketball season) I dislike the weather much more in Chicago, Cleveland, Detroit, Minny, Toronto, Philly, NY, NJ, Boston, and DC than I do Portland during that time period.

 

[44Thrilla]

Cities with better winters:
Miami
Charlotte
OK City
LA
PHX
Sacramento
Oakland
Dallas
SA
Houston
Memphis
NO

Cities with worse winters:

Boston
Minny
Toronto
NY
Philly
East Rutherford, NJ
Cleveland
Milwaukee
Chicago
Detroit
Indianapolis
Washington DC

Portland is above average, IMO. Seems really strange for the moron to single you out.

 

[julius]

Cities with better winters:
Miami
Charlotte
OK City
LA
PHX
Sacramento
Oakland
Dallas
SA
Houston
Memphis
NO

Cities with worse winters:

Boston
Minnesota
Denver
Salt Lake City
Toronto
NY
Philly
East Rutherford, NJ
Cleveland
Milwaukee
Chicago
Detroit
Indianapolis
Washington DC

Portland is above average, IMO. Seems really strange for the moron to single you out.

he singled Portland out because he knows it'll garner him a lot of emails and hits to his page. Nothing more, nothing less. He's trolling Portland fans basically.

 

[Nikolokolus]

Maybe he enjoys taking shots at you because you're so sensitive and will make a big deal about him criticizing something as trivial as the weather? Either way, I think he sucks and don't bother reading anything he writes.

Ding, ding, ding!!

 

[DeanMoriarty]

God, we, Portland fans, are so gullible as to respond to this guy. Haven't we learned by now that he's a sadomasochist and he's reading these same forums and laughing his ass off?

 

[jlprk]

he singled Portland out because he knows it'll garner him a lot of emails and hits to his page. Nothing more, nothing less. He's trolling Portland fans basically.

More dings. After Laker fans, we're about the next most numerous fans in terms of NBA internet responses. He keeps mentioning us to boost his ratings.

 

[DeanMoriarty]

More dings. After Laker fans, we're about the next most numerous fans in terms of NBA internet responses. He keeps mentioning us to boost his ratings.

Exactly.

Every month, he releases one negative article on Portland just to garner attention. We should expect this by now.

 

[illmatic99]

Portland is above average, IMO. Seems really strange for the moron to single you out.

Portland winters aren't really harsh. They're actually really mild, and it's really boring weather. There is rarely any snow. No wind, or even strong storms. But, you have to essentially have your wipers on every time you get in the car from October to March ( and this year... June) to get rid of that perpetual drizzle. Oh, and you don't see the sun either, 'cause there's always an overcast sky. It's quite a contrast to Portland Springs/Summers, when the weather is awesome day in and day out.

 

[Ed O]

It's not a question of taking it personally. (I don't live there) Nor is there much debate that the weather isn't the greatest. The point is that it is no worse than the cities in the Midwest and the NE where it is cold, windy, and miserable Nov 1st through the middle of April. (Basketball season) I dislike the weather much more in Chicago, Cleveland, Detroit, Minny, Toronto, Philly, NY, NJ, Boston, and DC than I do Portland during that time period.

I love the weather in Chicago during the winter. I lived there four years and I LOVED that it snowed and was cold, rather than just chilly and overcast. The Spring was very pleasant, actually, from what I can remember. I can't speak to the other cities because I haven't lived there.

Many people prefer (a) year-around sun and/or (b) defined seasons to what Portland and Seattle like. I would bet that the majority of people in the US prefer one or both of those things, actually.

Ed O.

 

[THE HCP]

I love P-Town and I'm not going anywhere!

 

[Minstrel]

Really? That's why he does it. What is he like 12 years old. At some point it gets old.

He's someone who's pay and fame is based on how many people read him. Getting tons of Portland fans reading everything he writes and then complaining about him is literal gold to him.

If you want to hurt him, don't read him. Reading his every word and then taking to the Internets for thread after thread about him is kinda awesome for him.

 

[julius]

I love P-Town and I'm not going anywhere!

and behind every silver lining, is a gray cloud.

 

[BGrantFan]

I'm reading Simmons' The Book of Basketball right now. One of the funniest books about sports, yet best researched, that I have ever read.

I recommend to all but those who fly off the handle whenever someone writes something that they don't agree with 100%.

 

[BGrantFan]

Simmons is a moron (and, like 44Thrilla, I never read his stuff) but the weather in Portland (and, in Seattle where I am) is not for everyone. It's not a secret and I don't think any of us should take it personally.

Ed O.

Read The Book of Basketball. I think you'd enjoy it. Tons of stuff that I never even knew about regarding the NBA.

Or, just call the guy a "moron" after admitting that you never "read his stuff". That's probably easier.

 

[MickZagger]

Read The Book of Basketball. I think you'd enjoy it. Tons of stuff that I never even knew about regarding the NBA.

Or, just call the guy a "moron" after admitting that you never "read his stuff". That's probably easier.

Sometimes you don't need to read a ton of someones stuff to realize that they're an attention seeking, pot stirrer.

 

[BGrantFan]

Sometimes you don't need to read a ton of someones stuff to realize that they're an attention seeking, pot stirrer.

I think that basically every poster on internet forums seeks attention to some degree. The better posters tend to stir the pot, IMO. That's what I think Ed O. does well, since he's not consistent in many of his player evaluations, at least when using advanced statistics.

This doesn't mean that a shit-stirrer like Simmons, who actually uses his own name, can't write the best book about the NBA that I've read since I first read Breaks of the Game.

 

[MickZagger]

I think that basically every poster on internet forums seeks attention to some degree. The better posters tend to stir the pot, IMO. That's what I think Ed O. does well, since he's not consistent in many of his player evaluations, at least when using advanced statistics.

This doesn't mean that a shit-stirrer like Simmons, who actually uses his own name, can't write the best book about the NBA that I've read since I first read Breaks of the Game.

Hey, Hey, Hey! You're a shit-stirrer that doesn't use your own name.