The Political Humor Thread

[The Captain]

Post your pictures/jokes/etc. That are..well.. funny.

Hillary Clinton is elected president. As she goes into the Oval Office she sees the ghost of George Washington. Hillary says "How can I best serve my country?" "Never tell a lie" says George Washington. She doesn't take his advice and starts lying. Then she encounters the Ghost of Thomas Jefferson. "How can I best serve my country?" she said. "Listen to the people" says Thomas Jefferson. She doesn't take his advice and does things only her way. She encounters Abraham Lincoln and she says "How can I best serve my country?" Lincoln seeing her past actions, he says "Go to the theater"

 

[the_pestilence]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>Hillary Clinton is elected president. As she goes into the Oval Office she sees the ghost of George Washington. Hillary says "How can I best serve my country?" "Never tell a lie" says George Washington. She doesn't take his advice and starts lying. Then she encounters the Ghost of Thomas Jefferson. "How can I best serve my country?" she said. "Listen to the people" says Thomas Jefferson. She doesn't take his advice and does things only her way. She encounters Abraham Lincoln and she says "How can I best serve my country?" Lincoln seeing her past actions, he says "Go to the theater"</div>that joke is far older than Hillary Clintonand how is this thread a debate?

 

[The Captain]

Seriously, who cares?

 

[playaofthegame]

This isn't a debateThe first one is kinda funny but that's itPolitics aren't funny...

 

[The Captain]

See, it's funny to me because I'm not a Democrat.I'm sure if I posted some Republican/Bush bashing, I wouldn't find it funny, but everyone else would be laughing their pants off.

 

[BrewCityBuck]

 

[The Captain]

What's the deal with the sheep?I don't get it.

 

[BrewCityBuck]

I hope your kidding.

 

[redneck]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (The Dominator @ May 1 2007, 07:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>What's the deal with the sheep?I don't get it.</div>Because a lot of people follow like sheep.

I have hundreds more, I might post them later.

 

[BrewCityBuck]

:worthy: :worthy: :worthy: :worthy: :worthy: :worthy:

 

[The Captain]

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A. The FBI and the CIA have destroyed the lightbulb inorder to give an excuse to go to war with the electricity that burned out the lightbulb.B. The lightbulb is a pointless distraction made by the Skull and Cross Bones society and the rest of America's elite inorder to distract people from the militarisation of the police, the infringement of rights, and the ensuing NEW WORLD ORDER.==============Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't - the aged bovine was struck and killed.Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists.About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a rare, huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick."What happened to you," asked Hillary? "Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me!""My God, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary.The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow. The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it.============>Agenda for the Democratic National Convention for 2008:>>7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.>>7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to U.N.>7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast>>7:30 till 8:00 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship. Jessie Jackson and AlSharpton.>>8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.>>8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging.>>8:15- 8:30 P.M. Gay Wedding -- Barney Frank Presiding.>>8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.>>8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally. Cindy Sheehan -- Susan Sarandon.>>9:00 P.M. Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender --French PresidentJacques Chirac>>9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.>>9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund>>9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay. SeanPenn>>9:40 P.M. Why I hate the Military, a short talk by William Jefferson Clinton>>9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast>>9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented Truth in Broadcasting award, presented byMichael Moore>>9:55 P.M., Ted Kennedy proposes a toast>>10:00 P.M. How George bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World TradeCenter Towers -- Howard Dean>>10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahnadinejad>>11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast>>11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents Internet>>11:15 P.M. Our Troops are War criminals -- John Kerry>>11:30 P.M. Coronation Of Mrs. Rodham Clinton>>12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast>>12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

 

[BrewCityBuck]

Thats awesome Dominator.

Michelle Malkin makes my pants wet.

 

[The Captain]

Man, forget Fred. Michelle Malkin '08.

 

[The Captain]

The incident wasn't funny at all, but you got to admit, this is really out of whack.I bet Obama wants to take this one back.<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>RICHMOND, Va. (AP) - Barack Obama, caught up in the fervor of a campaign speech Tuesday, drastically overstated the Kansas tornadoes death toll, saying 10,000 had died.The death toll was 12."In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died?an entire town destroyed," the Democratic presidential candidate said in a speech to 500 people packed into a sweltering Richmond art studio for a fundraiser.</div>That's gotta be an F102039490.

 

[ASUFan22]

Wanna hear a good joke?

:HAHAHA:

 

[BrewCityBuck]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (The Captain @ May 9 2007, 09:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>The incident wasn't funny at all, but you got to admit, this is really out of whack.I bet Obama wants to take this one back.That's gotta be an F102039490.</div> I read that yesterday, and after that Obama tried to blame the Iraq war for those towns not having the supplies needed to help in the recovery....jesus freaking christ....this is why I can't vote for Obama, he's just so typical, I thought he would be a unique guy who was better than that....but he is no different.

 

[kingjamez]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (ASUFan22 @ May 9 2007, 10:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>Wanna hear a good joke?

:HAHAHA:</div>That was so funny I forgot to laugh

 

[ASUFan22]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (kingjamez @ May 10 2007, 07:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>That was so funny I forgot to laugh</div>Yeah, same with a lot of the pics TheCaptain posted. This thread is so funny that you just forget what you are going to do.

 

[MaRdYC26]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (kingjamez @ May 10 2007, 10:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>That was so funny I forgot to laugh</div>That's odd. Because I remembered to. I'll make sure to let you know next time you should laugh.Kind of like now...

IM DICK CHENEY bi*ch!

 

[BrewCityBuck]

Dick Cheney, ugh, I would love to string that slimball on a low branch and use him as a punching bag.

 

[The Captain]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (ASUFan22 @ May 10 2007, 09:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>Yeah, same with a lot of the pics TheCaptain posted. This thread is so funny that you just forget what you are going to do.</div>Dude, mine were hilarious. Yours sucked.Recognize...

 

[MaRdYC26]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (The Captain @ May 12 2007, 08:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>Dude, mine were hilarious. Yours sucked.Recognize...</div>Really? Because I thought his was comical.

 

[The Captain]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (MaRdYC26 @ May 12 2007, 08:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>Really? Because I thought his was comical.</div>Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[playaofthegame]

 

[MaRdYC26]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (playaofthegame @ May 14 2007, 08:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>

</div>LMFAO.

 

[the_pestilence]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (BrewCityBuck @ May 12 2007, 02:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>Dick Cheney, ugh, I would love to string that slimball on a low branch and use him as a punching bag.</div>Dick Cheyney is the best impeachment insurance/assassination insurance money can buy. A lot more effective than the secret service and money combined, everybody wants to make sure Bush stays in office to keep cheyney out of there.