OT Tips for dealing with the loss of a pet?

[BonesJones]

So a couple days ago my cat of 13 years went missing, and today my mother found him under the porch, passed away. I had a feeling he was gone but the finalization of it still hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm 21 years old, so I've had my cat since I was 8. I know some may view him as "just a cat" but he was a part of every single day and was a big part of our family. He helped me get through some tough things growing up, as I got him shortly after my dad's severe brain injury and had to deal with my dad going from a great guy and soldier to trying to abuse me. That was extremely tough but I had my cat, who was possibly the friendliest cat every, would cuddle up to you at any chance, would walk around your feet brushing your legs, and was just always there for me.

I've never lost someone close to me, and I was too young when my dad had his accident to understand grief. So I don't believe I've ever actually felt grief before, and I have no idea how to handle it. My mother made a custom-made dish with his name on it, some pawprints and the saying "I'm not fat, I'm fluffy!", and every time I think of his fricken dish it brings me to tears... I'm a mess right now and I don't know how to deal with it. I feel like I can't even function right now..

I'm sure there's people on here that have lost people and loved ones that have gone through a much worse degree of grieving.. Is it weird for me to be this upset? I don't know, but I'm devastated. I just don't know how to handle the way I feel right now, so I was hoping there might be people here that could give me tips, advice, or even just talk with me as that could help me get through this. Thank you.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

So a couple days ago my cat of 13 years went missing, and today my mother found him under the porch, passed away. I had a feeling he was gone but the finalization of it still hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm 21 years old, so I've had my cat since I was 8. I know some may view him as "just a cat" but he was a part of every single day and was a big part of our family. He helped me get through some tough things growing up, as I got him shortly after my dad's severe brain injury and had to deal with my dad going from a great guy and soldier to trying to abuse me. That was extremely tough but I had my cat, who was possibly the friendliest cat every, would cuddle up to you at any chance, would walk around your feet brushing your legs, and was just always there for me.

I've never lost someone close to me, and I was too young when my dad had his accident to understand grief. So I don't believe I've ever actually felt grief before, and I have no idea how to handle it. My mother made a custom-made dish with his name on it, some pawprints and the saying "I'm not fat, I'm fluffy!", and every time I think of his fricken dish it brings me to tears... I'm a mess right now and I don't know how to deal with it. I feel like I can't even function right now..

I'm sure there's people on here that have lost people and loved ones that have gone through a much worse degree of grieving.. Is it weird for me to be this upset? I don't know, but I'm devastated. I just don't know how to handle the way I feel right now, so I was hoping there might be people here that could give me tips, advice, or even just talk with me as that could help me get through this. Thank you.

Some people don't love animals so they don't understand. An animal that you treat properly will love you more than most people can. They become a huge part of your life. I had to go through this a few times when I was younger. My black lab got hit by a car when I was 9 or so and we had to put him down.

I don't have time right now to go into it but you'll get better.

 

[santeesioux]

My uncle, a dude I considered my uncle, and 3 of my grandparents (I was either a toddler when they died, not very close to them, and never even met one of them despite him being alive for 25 years of my life) have died, and I think pet deaths affect/ed me more than any of theirs. It takes time, but it does get better.

 

[BonesJones]

Some people don't love animals so they don't understand. An animal that you treat properly will love you more than most people can. They become a huge part of your life. I had to go through this a few times when I was younger. My black lab got hit by a car when I was 9 or so and we had to put him down.

I don't have time right now to go into it but you'll get better.

Thanks man, I appreciate it.

 

[speeds]

My uncle, a dude I considered my uncle, and 3 of my grandparents (I was either a toddler when they died, not very close to them, and never even met one of them despite him being alive for 25 years of my life) have died, and I think pet deaths affect/ed me more than any of theirs. It takes time, but it does get better.

I can't think of a better way to put it than this. The grief you feel right now won't ever go away entirely but eventually the fondness of your memories will be stronger than your sadness.

 

[BonesJones]

My uncle, a dude I considered my uncle, and 3 of my grandparents (I was either a toddler when they died, not very close to them, and never even met one of them despite him being alive for 25 years of my life) have died, and I think pet deaths affect/ed me more than any of theirs. It takes time, but it does get better.

I didn't realize how rough it'd be for me. I'm glad he got to live a long life and he was deteriorating for a couple weeks so I kind of expected it. Still though, never thought it'd be this tough. I'll miss even the most annoying things he did.

I feel like I should allow him to live through me by turning his passing into positive differences. I've always been someone who's been able to turn bad into good and see the silver lining I things, so maybe this will help me have a greater appreciation for time and for the loved ones I have around me... I owe it to him, that little dude helped me get through hell.

 

[Natebishop3]

Pets are like your kids man. They're your best friend. They love you unconditionally. They accept you for who you are without a second thought. I know my dog would give his own life to protect me.

Losing a pet is extremely hard.... and honestly I think I'll take a break from pets whenever he does go.

I'm sorry Bones. We lost both of our cats within a couple months of each other. It's really hard. You can get another cat, and for some people that helps, but you'll never forget your buddy. The memories are with you always, and every once in a while something will trigger one of those memories.

 

[CupWizier]

So a couple days ago my cat of 13 years went missing, and today my mother found him under the porch, passed away. I had a feeling he was gone but the finalization of it still hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm 21 years old, so I've had my cat since I was 8. I know some may view him as "just a cat" but he was a part of every single day and was a big part of our family. He helped me get through some tough things growing up, as I got him shortly after my dad's severe brain injury and had to deal with my dad going from a great guy and soldier to trying to abuse me. That was extremely tough but I had my cat, who was possibly the friendliest cat every, would cuddle up to you at any chance, would walk around your feet brushing your legs, and was just always there for me.

I've never lost someone close to me, and I was too young when my dad had his accident to understand grief. So I don't believe I've ever actually felt grief before, and I have no idea how to handle it. My mother made a custom-made dish with his name on it, some pawprints and the saying "I'm not fat, I'm fluffy!", and every time I think of his fricken dish it brings me to tears... I'm a mess right now and I don't know how to deal with it. I feel like I can't even function right now..

I'm sure there's people on here that have lost people and loved ones that have gone through a much worse degree of grieving.. Is it weird for me to be this upset? I don't know, but I'm devastated. I just don't know how to handle the way I feel right now, so I was hoping there might be people here that could give me tips, advice, or even just talk with me as that could help me get through this. Thank you.

View attachment 20417

Animal or not they become a member of your family. Several years ago we lost a Yorkie to a racoon in our backyard and about 6 years ago we had to put our Schnnauzer down as he had a tumor on his spine. 2 of the worst days in my life. Time heals and use the time to remember the good days..

 

[BonesJones]

Animal or not they become a member of your family. Several years ago we lost a Yorkie to a racoon in our backyard and about 6 years ago we had to put our Schnnauzer down as he had a tumor on his spine. 2 of the worst days in my life. Time heals and use the time to remember the good days..

That's awful man.. I hate racoons. I can't imagine losing a pet like that

Thanks man. It just sucks staring at the healing process from this side of it.

 

[SlyPokerCat]

Losing a pet, who loves you unconditionally is tough. People suck. They are assholes. Lie. Etc. Etc. But animals don't let you down and love you unconditionally. I get why other people say it's harder to lose your pet buddy.

It's even harder to lose a cat. Because, well.... nobody likes dogs.

It will probably take a week but you'll be fine. The pain will never go away, but you'll move on with your life and just cherish the time you had with him. Take your time getting a new pet. I feel it's my duty to get more pets when mine pass. Just because so many pets live in shitty conditions. So, it's my duty to give at least another pet a loving home.

 

[BonesJones]

Pets are like your kids man. They're your best friend. They love you unconditionally. They accept you for who you are without a second thought. I know my dog would give his own life to protect me.

Losing a pet is extremely hard.... and honestly I think I'll take a break from pets whenever he does go.

I'm sorry Bones. We lost both of our cats within a couple months of each other. It's really hard. You can get another cat, and for some people that helps, but you'll never forget your buddy. The memories are with you always, and every once in a while something will trigger one of those memories.

He was my very first pet ever too. We had him and his brother, his brother was my sister's cat, and it sucked when he passed away a couple years ago, but I didn't have a connection to him like I did with my cat. He was a part of me.. And he was so perfect to me in so many ways..

I don't know if I want a new car or not. Its be nice but I couldn't handle a cat that was any less friendly than mine was, and that's hard to find.

 

[BonesJones]

Losing a pet, who loves you unconditionally is tough. People suck. They are assholes. Lie. Etc. Etc. But animals don't let you down and love you unconditionally. I get why other people say it's harder to lose your buddy.

It's even harder to lose a cat. Because, well.... nobody likes dogs.

It will probably take a week but you'll be fine. The pain will never go away, but you'll move on with your life and just cherish the time you had with him. Take your time getting a new pet. I feel it's my duty to get more pets when mine pass. Just because so many pets live in shitty conditions. So, it's my duty to give at least another pet a loving home.

Thank you. Talking with you guys helps a lot right now. I truly appreciate it.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

I didn't realize how rough it'd be for me. I'm glad he got to live a long life and he was deteriorating for a couple weeks so I kind of expected it. Still though, never thought it'd be this tough. I'll miss even the most annoying things he did.

I feel like I should allow him to live through me by turning his passing into positive differences. I've always been someone who's been able to turn bad into good and see the silver lining I things, so maybe this will help me have a greater appreciation for time and for the loved ones I have around me... I owe it to him, that little dude helped me get through hell.

What you said about the long life is the part you can feel good about. Sometimes they get sick and you can't do anything but my wife is the best pet owner an animal could ever have.

When I had to have her favorite dog put to sleep she was distraught. I told her that giving that old dog 7 years of dog heaven on Earth was one of the most amazing things I'd ever seen and the second I thought she could handle it we got a rescue dog. A puppy this time.

There are soooooooo many animals that need homes that when you feel able please get one. Please for their sake if not yours. Every day they put animals down that need homes.

Do that when you're ready and know your cat wants you to. They can't verbalize it but they know good and they want it for others.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

I think I told this here when it happened but when I had our dog put to sleep I walked out thinking I was fine and then started balling like a baby in the parking lot.

I left for home and a shitty looking PT Cruiser with all the chrome crap add ons ever made passed me. I screamed something about how disgusting his car was to him and I felt better.

Guy had to think I was crazy, and he was right.

 

[BonesJones]

What you said about the long life is the part you can feel good about. Sometimes they get sick and you can't do anything but my wife is the best pet owner an animal could ever have.

When I had to have her favorite dog put to sleep she was distraught. I told her that giving that old dog 7 years of dog heaven on Earth was one of the most amazing things I'd ever seen and the second I thought she could handle it we got a rescue dog. A puppy this time.

There are soooooooo many animals that need homes that when you feel able please get one. Please for their sake if not yours. Every day they put animals down that need homes.

Do that when you're ready and know your cat wants you to. They can't verbalize it but they know good and they want it for others.

Yeah it just depends on my mother, since I still live with her. She developed an allergy to cats, but has seemed fine recently. Definitely will get one when I move out, for sure.

 

[Fez Hammersticks]

Bro, I'm really sorry to hear this. This past October I lost my pitbull to cancer, I had him for 15 years. Indeed, it does hit you like a ton of bricks.

I know this doesn't initially help but time really does help heal the wounds. I was devastated when Snoop was put down. The first few weeks are rough, but the more time passes the easier it is to accept—and to appreciate that they were in your life for as long as they were.

Another thing that really helped was adopting another pet. Not to replace, more of bridging the void the previous pet left. I rescued a 1y/o rednose pitty and I am beyond happy that I made that decision.

I hope this helps.

 

[Chris Craig]

Sorry for your loss. I have lost many pets over the years both cats and dogs. Take some time then get another pet.

 

[jlprk]

A lot of experience in this thread, so I'll ask each of you. When a pet dies, who eats up the pet food? Were you the one who finished it off? I've always wondered how best to honor the deceased pet.

 

[Rhal]

Very sorry to hear of your loss Bones. When I lost my dog it came as such a shock even though my wife and I had already had a talk about putting her down and she passed in my lap when I was seeing the vet. It hit me so much harder then I thought it would and I was distraught for a few weeks, everything that reminded me of her was so hard to take. After a few days the things that kept reminding me of her I got used to and they wouldnt' trigger the huge waves of grief, then after a few weeks those waves got smaller and smaller. I'd say after about a month the grief wasnt' gone but i'd learned to accept it and expect it. Even almost two years later I still feel very sad at her passing but i'm able to look back on all our fun experiences and memories with Joy instead of grief.

 

[Natebishop3]

A lot of experience in this thread, so I'll ask each of you. When a pet dies, who eats up the pet food? Were you the one who finished it off? I've always wondered how best to honor the deceased pet.

If you keep making posts like these, you'll never be a real boy.

 

[BonesJones]

Very sorry to hear of your loss Bones. When I lost my dog it came as such a shock even though my wife and I had already had a talk about putting her down and she passed in my lap when I was seeing the vet. It hit me so much harder then I thought it would and I was distraught for a few weeks, everything that reminded me of her was so hard to take. After a few days the things that kept reminding me of her I got used to and they wouldnt' trigger the huge waves of grief, then after a few weeks those waves got smaller and smaller. I'd say after about a month the grief wasnt' gone but i'd learned to accept it and expect it. Even almost two years later I still feel very sad at her passing but i'm able to look back on all our fun experiences and memories with Joy instead of grief.

Thanks for your story. I wish I was able to be with me pet when he passed. That's the part that makes me really sad.

 

[BonesJones]

Bro, I'm really sorry to hear this. This past October I lost my pitbull to cancer, I had him for 15 years. Indeed, it does hit you like a ton of bricks.

I know this doesn't initially help but time really does help heal the wounds. I was devastated when Snoop was put down. The first few weeks are rough, but the more time passes the easier it is to accept—and to appreciate that they were in your life for as long as they were.

Another thing that really helped was adopting another pet. Not to replace, more of bridging the void the previous pet left. I rescued a 1y/o rednose pitty and I am beyond happy that I made that decision.

I hope this helps.

It does, thank you. I've talked with my mom about maybe getting a new cat. Nothing could ever replace my first cat but it'd be nice to get a nee one because right now it feels extremely lonely and empty. Problem is, my cat was so friendly and cuddly that I don't know if I could get anything but an orange tabby (I heard that's a common characteristic of theirs).

 

[Rhal]

Thanks for your story. I wish I was able to be with me pet when he passed. That's the part that makes me really sad.

Sadey tried to do that, she stayed under the stairs and it took a lot to get her to come out from there. I think she knew it was her time and when a lot of animals think its their time they will go away to pass away on their own. When Sadey had a heart attack and died in my lap I was very glad that my wife and daughter were not their to see her pass on. My wife is very thankful that she wasn't their when our dog passed and I think it was better for her to have not seen her at the end. No matter what way we find our pets after they have died or been there for them its hard but don't let the guilt of not being there for him at the end get to you because cats and some type of dogs have been known to go out on their own and find a quiet place to pass away and if that was what happened to your cat that was his choice.

 

[Rhal]

It does, thank you. I've talked with my mom about maybe getting a new cat. Nothing could ever replace my first cat but it'd be nice to get a nee one because right now it feels extremely lonely and empty. Problem is, my cat was so friendly and cuddly that I don't know if I could get anything but an orange tabby (I heard that's a common characteristic of theirs).

I wouldn't' look at getting a new cat immediately, let a little time pass before getting a new one. Any cat you get wont replace your first cat, it'll have a different personalty and as long as you go in expecting that its fine. I say not to get one immedialty because my wife still resents our new dog, we'v had her for about a year now, at times because she feels like we got her to soon and the resentment comes because Willow isn't Sadey. What helped me a lot was looking at several Human societies within driving distance of me and looking at all the animals they had up for adoption. Even went several times and saw the animals before deciding on the one we got.

 

[BonesJones]

Sadey tried to do that, she stayed under the stairs and it took a lot to get her to come out from there. I think she knew it was her time and when a lot of animals think its their time they will go away to pass away on their own. When Sadey had a heart attack and died in my lap I was very glad that my wife and daughter were not their to see her pass on. My wife is very thankful that she wasn't their when our dog passed and I think it was better for her to have not seen her at the end. No matter what way we find our pets after they have died or been there for them its hard but don't let the guilt of not being there for him at the end get to you because cats and some type of dogs have been known to go out on their own and find a quiet place to pass away and if that was what happened to your cat that was his choice.

That's true. He loved humans so Mich though that I'm not sure if that's what he would've wanted. He was just outside at the time.

 

[stampedehero]

This might sound trivial but losing a pet bird has the same effect as losing a cat or dog. They have distinct personalities. Last year, we lost Lucy, a 17 year old cockatiel. My wife was really mortified. I felt a sense of emptiness. At first there is pain and grief, then you eventually feel lucky and grateful to have a small being that made you happy.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

Sadey tried to do that, she stayed under the stairs and it took a lot to get her to come out from there. I think she knew it was her time and when a lot of animals think its their time they will go away to pass away on their own. When Sadey had a heart attack and died in my lap I was very glad that my wife and daughter were not their to see her pass on. My wife is very thankful that she wasn't their when our dog passed and I think it was better for her to have not seen her at the end. No matter what way we find our pets after they have died or been there for them its hard but don't let the guilt of not being there for him at the end get to you because cats and some type of dogs have been known to go out on their own and find a quiet place to pass away and if that was what happened to your cat that was his choice.

I think my German Shepherd did that. He disappeared one day almost 30 years ago. Made me sad not knowing but now I just pretend he found a better owner and he's still alive chilling in their back yard.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

Another tip I have...have multiple pets. My dogs are happier having someone to play with. The other benefit of multiple pets is the different personalities they have. My buddy greets me like this every morning.

 

[CupWizier]

Yeah it just depends on my mother, since I still live with her. She developed an allergy to cats, but has seemed fine recently. Definitely will get one when I move out, for sure.

If you haven't had a dog, then I suggest you get a dog as I have had both over the several years of my life and dogs are great companions and fun to take to the beach, the river or the park. If size is an issue then get a small dog. At one time we had 4 with a Miniature Schnauzer (who I mentioned above), a chihuahua (who is now with my daughter) and a Pomeranian/Chihuahua mix and a Shorkie (a mix of Yorkie and ShiTzu). All are small lap dogs and great companions. Best suggestion is to look for a rescue dog as they can be great pets. My son and girlfriend recently adopted a rescue Lab and he is an amazing dog and adapted well to my 3 year old grandson. I like all pets, but dogs are special in my mind as cats tend to be a lot more independent

.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

I think Bones had a cat that was like a dog. I had a friend who had one, awesome cat. They're really rare.