OT To my good white friends

[H.C.]

Maybe. But why not just show it and shut her up? I lived in a condo building in downtown San Diego. Had to have the fob to get in. People would sneak in so people started asking people they didn’t recognize for their key or fob. Listen- if he was white this 90% probably wouldn’t have happened. But just end it and show her the fob. I dunno.

But he shouldn't have to show her just because he's black.
Shes not management, she was a tenant.

Next thing that will happen is she will start asking black people to show proof of ownership of the car they have.
or
proof of a receipt for the groceries they have.

It's not her place to monitor the door.
If she was concerned a random people was going to enter the building, tell the manager. Or better yet, don't sit at the door with it open.
At the end of the day, this lady only did it because Mr. Toles was black. No other reason.

 

[Orion Bailey]

So.... believe it or not, i was informed by My manager last night that this lady was probably following her contract.

I have keys to a secure building for musicians downtown. We hang out outside and smoke cigs in between sets. We leave the door propped open. Both the manager and another tenant who is black, got on us for not asking the tenant for a key when he walked in. The tenant told the manager who gave me a call.

So without any racial slurs or anything else noted that could be degrading, there is a chance that this lady was merely following rules by asking if he has a key.

Following wasnt smart. She should have called management. But i have now learned i need to ask everyone no matter their color, for their key. (Not that color was ever a factor to me)

The black tenant actully called the manager and told them i let them in without asking for a key and questioned rhe security of the building

This is why i say its dangerous to assume ones thoughts and judge on them. Until there is actual proof of racially motivated action, this is a tough thing to deal with but we cant assume and then judge.

 

[MARIS61]

He shouldn't have to show her his keyfob just because he's black.
That's literally the only reason she spoke to him.

Bullshit.

 

[MarAzul]

He shouldn't have to show her his keyfob just because he's black.
That's literally the only reason she spoke to him.

Actually, being black would be no reason for a pass. No reason to have keys to a place if everyone doesn't enforce the need for a key.

 

[Lanny]

I thought you weren't going to show any photos of you?

 

[calvin natt]

But he shouldn't have to show her just because he's black.
Shes not management, she was a tenant.

Next thing that will happen is she will start asking black people to show proof of ownership of the car they have.
or
proof of a receipt for the groceries they have.

It's not her place to monitor the door.
If she was concerned a random people was going to enter the building, tell the manager. Or better yet, don't sit at the door with it open.
At the end of the day, this lady only did it because Mr. Toles was black. No other reason.

If someone was crazy they could go look at all my posts - which condemn all things trump/racist/etc. I am having trouble on this one. Could she be racist? Absolutely. Could she not want people roaming her condo building? Absolutely. I just asked myself, "would you ask to see his key/fob" - the answer is probably not. But when I lived in a building like this, I know for a fact people asked others they didn't recognize - and I was appreciative of that.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

If someone was crazy they could go look at all my posts - which condemn all things trump/racist/etc. I am having trouble on this one. Could she be racist? Absolutely. Could she not want people roaming her condo building? Absolutely. I just asked myself, "would you ask to see his key/fob" - the answer is probably not. But when I lived in a building like this, I know for a fact people asked others they didn't recognize - and I was appreciative of that.

I'm a rebel. Before my development was finished they programmed the gate to be open from 6am to 6pm.

When we set the clocks ahead during spring the poor workers had to sit in their trucks and wait for someone to come in for the first few days.

They are almost all hispanic guys and I saw them sitting there when I left for work and hit my garage remote which was programmed to open the main gate as well.

 

[barfo]

I'm a rebel. Before my development was finished they programmed the gate to be open from 6am to 6pm.

When we set the clocks ahead during spring the poor workers had to sit in their trucks and wait for someone to come in for the first few days.

They are almost all hispanic guys and I saw them sitting there when I left for work and hit my garage remote which was programmed to open the main gate as well.

Better not ever run for office with that kind of lawlessness in your back pages.

barfo

 

[dviss1]

4th Floor Becky exposed by her ex:

 

[dviss1]

@dviss1

I agree with you 100%. When something happens it must not be tolerated. It must be called out. confronted by those witnessing such events.

The unfortunate thing is i agree with H.C. As well. Until someone acts out with such bigotry, it can be impossible to know this is how they are. We cant judge based off of assumptions of anothers mindset. We can only wait until that mindset has been brought out into some verbal or physical action and then respond.

However there is another thing we can do. We can educate our young better. I dont have children, but i have heard from my sister things haven't changed much. You have a very well mannered son and knowing you, im betting you have had a conversation about these things with him.
What are they teaching him? Do the textbooks still portray pilgrims as Americas saviors aNd founders? Does it still feel as though they are glossing over things to make it look like the native indians traded everything away knowingly in business transactions?

I think that until we be 100% honest about the history of all races and the events that impacted them, we will not be able to thwart racial mindsets. We need to get the world to understand the appauling suppression that happened to sooo many (and continues to happen in some countries across the globe) for soo long that every human in the world has that in the back of their mind day in and day out, to keep them in check when interacting with others.

When you've been treated with racism all your life then you know. Those who don't experience it daily are the only ones coming up with the whole:

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

4th Floor Becky exposed by her ex:

This???

I watched half of your video and didn't get to hear what he actually said.

Exposed what?

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

When you've been treated with racism all your life then you know. Those who don't experience it daily are the only ones coming up with the whole:

I called a guy at Sam's Club out on it a couple of years ago. I'd been in and out of that store a million times and he'd never dug through my cart checking every item to my receipt.

I watched him do just that to a black woman in front of me (partly it pissed me off because it took more of my time) but mostly I thought it was fucked up.

Asked him why he'd never done that to my cart and he had some lame "security said she looked like she was stealing" bullshit excuse.

Maybe it was true...I don't know.

We don't go there anymore because of that....and a few other things.

 

[H.C.]

I'm a rebel. Before my development was finished they programmed the gate to be open from 6am to 6pm.

When we set the clocks ahead during spring the poor workers had to sit in their trucks and wait for someone to come in for the first few days.

They are almost all hispanic guys and I saw them sitting there when I left for work and hit my garage remote which was programmed to open the main gate as well.

You didn't check to make sure they were legal?

 

[Orion Bailey]

When you've been treated with racism all your life then you know. Those who don't experience it daily are the only ones coming up with the whole:

We may not, but should we then subjugate security and safety merely because we fear the other person may think we are racially biased by asking if he has a key to a secure building? I mean, where does the line get drawn where we need to simply move forward and security is security for all. Not just white or blacks or anyone. And when anyone white, black, etc, doesn't abide by the security measure in place, we are just to let it go because we will be considered racist if we force these security measure?

I mean don't get me wrong D, I think she handled it wrong. The moment he said I don't need to show you a key, all she needed to say is this is a secure building for all its residents and if you live here then you should appreciate me looking out for your safety and security. Now do you live here? If so, please show me your key.

If he still denied, then a call to management would have been in order, but the stalking part, following him to his door is not good at all.

But are you saying because of the racial history in this country whites shouldn't be allowed t ask minorities if they are authorized to be in a secure building when they walk in without using a security measure like an fob?

That sure doesn't seem right to me.

 

[Lanny]

I called a guy at Sam's Club out on it a couple of years ago. I'd been in and out of that store a million times and he'd never dug through my cart checking every item to my receipt.

I watched him do just that to a black woman in front of me (partly it pissed me off because it took more of my time) but mostly I thought it was fucked up.

Asked him why he'd never done that to my cart and he had some lame "security said she looked like she was stealing" bullshit excuse.

Maybe it was true...I don't know.

We don't go there anymore because of that....and a few other things.

If they do that then they also probably do other objectionable things.
You're a good man so I'm not surprised by your reaction.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

If they do that then they also probably do other objectionable things.
You're a good man so I'm not surprised by your reaction.

I didn't KNOW if he was lying. I might have assumed he was a racist by the way he looked and sounded to me. Kinda rednecky I'd say.

50 year old southerner type.

I would be more inclined to believe him if she hadn't just went through the checkout line 2 spots over.

Like she ran back and stole 5 other things in under a minute.....doubtful.

Costco is a million times better either way.

 

[dviss1]

We may not, but should we then subjugate security and safety merely because we fear the other person may think we are racially biased by asking if he has a key to a secure building? I mean, where does the line get drawn where we need to simply move forward and security is security for all. Not just white or blacks or anyone. And when anyone white, black, etc, doesn't abide by the security measure in place, we are just to let it go because we will be considered racist if we force these security measure?

I mean don't get me wrong D, I think she handled it wrong. The moment he said I don't need to show you a key, all she needed to say is this is a secure building for all its residents and if you live here then you should appreciate me looking out for your safety and security. Now do you live here? If so, please show me your key.

If he still denied, then a call to management would have been in order, but the stalking part, following him to his door is not good at all.

But are you saying because of the racial history in this country whites shouldn't be allowed t ask minorities if they are authorized to be in a secure building when they walk in without using a security measure like an fob?

That sure doesn't seem right to me.

I'm not saying anything that you're inferring. I'm saying she NEVER would've questioned him if he was white.

Stop acting like she wanted the building to be secure.

 

[Boob-No-More]

Sounds like Ms. Butinski could have used some of this:



BNM

 

[Orion Bailey]

I'm not saying anything that you're inferring. I'm saying she NEVER would've questioned him if he was white.

Stop acting like she wanted the building to be secure.

How do you know this though?
How can you say for a fact she wouldnt have ask the same of a white person?
And how are we supposed to know who is genuinely concerned about security vs using race a an excuse?

How do we know for a fact?
Seems like assumptions to me and that is a real dicey thing to judge on assumptions

 

[dviss1]

How do you know this though?
How can you say for a fact she wouldnt have ask the same of a white person?
And how are we supposed to know who is genuinely concerned about security vs using race a an excuse?

How do we know for a fact?
Seems like assumptions to me and that is a real dicey thing to judge on assumptions

Sorry OB, But only white people ask this question.

When you're treated with it on a daily, you know.

There doesn't need to be some verification process.

We also tend to define racism differently. The N word isn't the barometer.

Edit: You JUST experienced it when those noisy racists called the police on the brown folk working on your house. The didn't call them racial slurs did they?

Sometimes it's just apparent.

 

[Orion Bailey]

Sorry OB, But only white people ask this question.

When you're treated with it on a daily, you know.

There doesn't need to be some verification process.

We also tend to define racism differently. The N word isn't the barometer.

Edit: You JUST experienced it when those noisy racists called the police on the brown folk working on your house. The didn't call them racial slurs did they?

Sometimes it's just apparent.

Actually I posted in here that this is factually incorrect.
Read my post about the manager and tenant of my musical studio. I was in 100% agreement with you up until my manager called me and notified me.

A black man INDEED asked the manager why I didn't ask him for his key and make sure he was allowed in.
My experience has factually disproved this and thus leads me to ask, when is it okay then to ask? I've been told by a black person in my secure building I was wrong NOT to ask him.
Now you are saying black people don't ask when its okay. Only white people do. Well we do. because we are confused. Or I am at least.

Where is the point we can all just move forward and ask openly about allowability without having the race issue come up?

There is a conflict here.

 

[MarAzul]

50 year old southerner type.

I'm saying she NEVER would've questioned him if he was white.

Stop acting like she wanted the building to be secure.

Last Friday on my way to the boat, I stopped in at Walmart to get a bale of socks and shorts. Don't seem to have another store that sells socks and shorts by the bale. Needed a few groceries too so I did the list at Walmart.

Sorry I did the self checkout, but there I was, everything scanned but the socks and shorts. So I called for help. She comes and does a bunch of stuff on the keyboard then hand scans the two I could not. I thought, well that is fucked up, but oh well! Shit then she starts re-scanning the stuff in my sack!

Why you doing this? I already scanned that stuff!
No answer. She does the whole bag.
When she is done, all is well and she hands me the receipt. No word.

Now leaving the self check out, I am right at the exit way, about fifteen feet from the exit it checker. Sure enough, here he comes before I can even quicken my gait. Of course the receipt is sort of fucked up so he is slow checking it item by item.
My blood pressure 2high/200 and I need fresh air.

Damn I need to find a place that sells socks by the bale!

It did occur to me though, waiting for the last security check, I bet they don't treat old black guys this rudely.
Didn't Say it though!!!

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

Last Friday on my way to the boat, I stopped in at Walmart to get a bale of socks and shorts. Don't seem to have another store that sells socks and shorts by the bale. Needed a few groceries too so I did the list at Walmart.

Sorry I did the self checkout, but there I was, everything scanned but the socks and shorts. So I called for help. She comes and does a bunch of stuff on the keyboard then hand scans the two I could not. I thought, well that is fucked up, but oh well! Shit then she starts re-scanning the stuff in my sack!

Why you doing this? I already scanned that stuff!
No answer. She does the whole bag.
When she is done, all is well and she hands be the receipt. No word.

Now leaving the self check out, I am right at the exit way, about fifteen feet from the exit it checker. Sure enough, here he comes before I can even quicken my gait. Of course the receipt is sort of fucked up so he is slow checking it item by item.
My blood pressure 2high/200 and I need fresh air.

Damn I need to find a place that sells socks by the bale!

It did occur to me though, waiting for the last security check, I bet they don't treat old black guys this rudely.
Didn't Say it though!!!

Whenever anyone at the exit at Walmart asks if they can check my receipt I say NOPE and keep walking. They never do anything about it.

 

[CupWizier]

Last Friday on my way to the boat, I stopped in at Walmart to get a bale of socks and shorts. Don't seem to have another store that sells socks and shorts by the bale. Needed a few groceries too so I did the list at Walmart.

Sorry I did the self checkout, but there I was, everything scanned but the socks and shorts. So I called for help. She comes and does a bunch of stuff on the keyboard then hand scans the two I could not. I thought, well that is fucked up, but oh well! Shit then she starts re-scanning the stuff in my sack!

Why you doing this? I already scanned that stuff!
No answer. She does the whole bag.
When she is done, all is well and she hands be the receipt. No word.

Now leaving the self check out, I am right at the exit way, about fifteen feet from the exit it checker. Sure enough, here he comes before I can even quicken my gait. Of course the receipt is sort of fucked up so he is slow checking it item by item.
My blood pressure 2high/200 and I need fresh air.

Damn I need to find a place that sells socks by the bale!

It did occur to me though, waiting for the last security check, I bet they don't treat old black guys this rudely.
Didn't Say it though!!!

Oh please. I have been in a Walmart many times and them checking the receipt is hardly a big deal as they glance quickly and put a check mark on the receipt and you are on your way. Your last comment makes you sound like a racist.

 

[crandc]

A colleague of mine told me today she just took her teenage son to the dentist. Twice the dentist talked about"low income" youth. She is a well dressed well educated professional woman. Why would anyone just assume her family is low income? Because she's black?

 

[MarAzul]

A colleague of mine told me today she just took her teenage son to the dentist. Twice the dentist talked about"low income" youth. She is a well dressed well educated professional woman. Why would anyone just assume her family is low income? Because she's black?

That is the same thing my grandsons dentist did when I took him a couple years ago. She is pretty young, do you think it is the chitchat they learn in school?

 

[MARIS61]

A colleague of mine told me today she just took her teenage son to the dentist. Twice the dentist talked about"low income" youth. She is a well dressed well educated professional woman. Why would anyone just assume her family is low income? Because she's black?

Because her son, the one he referred to, probably knows some of them and the dentist would like to help them?

My dentist does all kinds of community volunteering of his services, and allows strapped patients to carry a balance for years if necessary.

Sad your weel-dressed, well-educated professional colleague jumped to such a hateful conclusion about a genuinely caring citizen. Guess it's true clothes don't make the man, or woman.

 

[bodyman5000 and 1]

A colleague of mine told me today she just took her teenage son to the dentist. Twice the dentist talked about"low income" youth. She is a well dressed well educated professional woman. Why would anyone just assume her family is low income? Because she's black?

I was at the venetian a couple of months ago in the pool. I stay in the shade because I burn and these white college girls were talking about low income POC students. I'm sorry but the way they were talking about them was offensive to me.

It was like they were talking about a pitbull that didn't bite you and how lucky they were. I could tell that they were trying to sound inclusive but it just came off as superiority masked as compassion.

Like when someone says a black guy is "so well spoken"

I wonder if it wasn't something similar. Trying to sound compassionate.

 

[Lanny]

The woman could politely ask if he was a tenant but should never block his path. Only the police or the apartment manager have the authority to block someone's path.