Well, I Screwed Up..

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ABM

ABM

Happily Married In Music City, USA!
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The flowers have been ordered.....and she'll be receiving them tomorrow.
 
BLAZER PROPHET said:
OK, you naughty boy, what did you do? You were begging for someone to ask, so I'll be your foil.
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Tried to cram too many activities (i.e. an afternoon family event here in Portland) into Christmas Eve....Oooops, I meant out FIRST Christmas Eve together.

Actually, it was that I didn't even mention it to her ahead of time
 
ABM said:
Tried to cram too many activities (i.e. an afternoon family event here in Portland) into Christmas Eve....Oooops, I meant out FIRST Christmas Eve together.

Actually, it was that I didn't even mention it to her ahead of time
Click to expand...


The good doctor recommends flowers, chocolate, a candle and a Cialis (in that order).
 
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In all honesty, it's been a long, long time since I've sent flowers to a woman. She's worth it, though. Really, really worth it. Ya know, I probably could have "justified" things.....but, in the end I would have been wrong....and in an impasse.

Yeppers, these are the times ya just nut-up and, well, take one in the nuts. Guys can trot out all they want about about losing man points and all of that, but, in my opinion, that would be relative chumpish behavior.

No thanks on that one.

Ultimately, she'll be a very happy camper......and so will I........so will I. :pimp:
 
Nothing unmanly about it. You made a mistake and now you're letting her know you feel low over it. Man card still intact.
 
Christmas eve is really just a state of mind (for most of us). Take a day off work, rent out a fancy room in downtown portland, put a little tree in there, put up some christmas decorations and have your own private Christmas Eve and Christmas day with her.

She will love it . . . and so will you . . . so will you :)
 
its your life, dont let her take your dreams out into the garage and take a shit on them
 
Treaty_of_Batum said:
Christmas eve is really just a state of mind (for most of us). Take a day off work, rent out a fancy room in downtown portland, put a little tree in there, put up some christmas decorations and have your own private Christmas Eve and Christmas day with her.

She will love it . . . and so will you . . . so will you :)
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Speak for yourself........ it's my wife's birthday. Her mom's is on the 22nd and her dad's is on XMAS and my brothers is on the 26th!
 
HCP said:
Speak for yourself........ it's my wife's birthday. Her mom's is on the 22nd and her dad's is on XMAS and my brothers is on the 26th!
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Those are B-days, FAMS! Ain't nothing to do with Christmas!!

Unless any of them are directly related to Christ, that is...
 
3RA1N1AC said:
its your life, dont let her take your dreams out into the garage and take a shit on them
Click to expand...

I could be wrong, but something tells me you're a bit too young to fully understand the dynamic taking place here. ;)
 
BLAZINGGIANTS said:
Those are B-days, FAMS! Ain't nothing to do with Christmas!!

Unless any of them are directly related to Christ, that is...
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It's just crazy! Her family really goes out of their way to separate the birthdays and Christmas. So we have never really celebrated Christmas eve. Sorry to detour your thread ABM!
 
ABM said:
I could be wrong, but something tells me you're a bit too young to fully understand the dynamic taking place here. ;)
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well, i am not privvy to the details of your argument, but i assume it went a little something like this...

abm: "hey i almost forgot, but i wanted to go down to pdx to my (sisters/cousins/nieces) on xmas eve, i know you need to go to your kids house that night, but if we wake up real early, we should be able to get it in, i will do all the driving, i just really would like to get down there, i have been feeling guilty lately because it has been awhile since i have seen them.

mrs. abm: "YOU KNOW HOW STRESSED OUT I AM ABOUT ALL THIS! WHY ARE YOU WAITING UNTIL THE LAST SECOND TO BRING THIS UP! YOU ALWAYS CHANGE PLANS LIKE THIS, ITS SO FRUSTRATING!!"

abm: "oh come on! we always go to your families house, i havent seen my (sisters/cousins/nieces) in 3 years! i said id do all the driving, all you need to do is sit in a car...is that something you can do? sit in a motherfucking car? or is that too much to ask..."

mrs abm: GO FUCK YOURSELF! HAVE FUN, I DONT CARE, GO TO STUPID PORTLAND BY YOURSELF! SINCE THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN I AM" (runs into the bedroom and slams the door, hysterical crying wafting through the air and into the hallway)

abm: "oh jeez hunni, im sorry....hey....im sorry hunni, i love you...i just feel bad because i havent been down there in awhile....hey...i love you...forget it hunni, im sorry, i love you... dont cry baby....forget i brought it up, we can try and go down there for new years or something...im sorry....dont cry, im sorry....
 
3RA1N1AC said:
well, i am not privvy to the details of your argument, but i assume it went a little something like this...

abm: "hey i almost forgot, but i wanted to go down to pdx to my (sisters/cousins/nieces) on xmas eve, i know you need to go to your kids house that night, but if we wake up real early, we should be able to get it in, i will do all the driving, i just really would like to get down there, i have been feeling guilty lately because it has been awhile since i have seen them.

mrs. abm: "YOU KNOW HOW STRESSED OUT I AM ABOUT ALL THIS! WHY ARE YOU WAITING UNTIL THE LAST SECOND TO BRING THIS UP! YOU ALWAYS CHANGE PLANS LIKE THIS, ITS SO FRUSTRATING!!"

abm: "oh come on! we always go to your families house, i havent seen my (sisters/cousins/nieces) in 3 years! i said id do all the driving, all you need to do is sit in a car...is that something you can do? sit in a motherfucking car? or is that too much to ask..."

mrs abm: GO FUCK YOURSELF! HAVE FUN, I DONT CARE, GO TO STUPID PORTLAND BY YOURSELF! SINCE THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN I AM" (runs into the bedroom and slams the door, hysterical crying wafting through the air and into the hallway)

abm: "oh jeez hunni, im sorry....hey....im sorry hunni, i love you...i just feel bad because i havent been down there in awhile....hey...i love you...forget it hunni, im sorry, i love you... dont cry baby....forget i brought it up, we can try and go down there for new years or something...im sorry....dont cry, im sorry....
Click to expand...
:lol:
 
I'm not sure what the problem is? It's only December 5th!
 
3RA1N1AC said:
well, i am not privvy to the details of your argument, but i assume it went a little something like this...

abm: "hey i almost forgot, but i wanted to go down to pdx to my (sisters/cousins/nieces) on xmas eve, i know you need to go to your kids house that night, but if we wake up real early, we should be able to get it in, i will do all the driving, i just really would like to get down there, i have been feeling guilty lately because it has been awhile since i have seen them.

mrs. abm: "YOU KNOW HOW STRESSED OUT I AM ABOUT ALL THIS! WHY ARE YOU WAITING UNTIL THE LAST SECOND TO BRING THIS UP! YOU ALWAYS CHANGE PLANS LIKE THIS, ITS SO FRUSTRATING!!"

abm: "oh come on! we always go to your families house, i havent seen my (sisters/cousins/nieces) in 3 years! i said id do all the driving, all you need to do is sit in a car...is that something you can do? sit in a motherfucking car? or is that too much to ask..."

mrs abm: GO FUCK YOURSELF! HAVE FUN, I DONT CARE, GO TO STUPID PORTLAND BY YOURSELF! SINCE THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN I AM" (runs into the bedroom and slams the door, hysterical crying wafting through the air and into the hallway)

abm: "oh jeez hunni, im sorry....hey....im sorry hunni, i love you...i just feel bad because i havent been down there in awhile....hey...i love you...forget it hunni, im sorry, i love you... dont cry baby....forget i brought it up, we can try and go down there for new years or something...im sorry....dont cry, im sorry....
Click to expand...

I'd say this is pretty darn close.
 
3RA1N1AC said:
well, i am not privvy to the details of your argument, but i assume it went a little something like this...
Click to expand...

Heh, nice try. Not even close, though. Sure, there are certain advantages to being young and single. You should enjoy those....as I'm sure you are. ;)

PS: Both of her parents are deceased.....and her two boys from Colorado won't be able to make it. Her other daughter will be out of town, as well. That leaves another daughter, who will be coming down from Seattle. Therein lies your clue.
 
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I'm guessing it's the usual "I'm-making-all-the-plans-cuz-if-I-like-them-you-will-too" thing.
 
BLAZER PROPHET said:
I'm guessing it's the usual "I'm-making-all-the-plans-cuz-if-I-like-them-you-will-too" thing.
Click to expand...

Still seems like plenty of time to discuss the plans. Maybe ABM's style of communication needed to be tweaked?
 
tlongII said:
Still seems like plenty of time to discuss the plans. Maybe ABM's style of communication needed to be tweaked?
Click to expand...

It's more of a case that I made an assumption that she would be working the normal time and then related plans to her that my family had recently set up for that afternoon and early evening...and that I wanted to go. (I told her that I would be able to drive up there following that.) As it turns out, she will be getting off early and she had in her mind that I would be able to spend the entire time (afternoon and evening) with her.

This will be the first Christmas in years that her boys won't be here. I think that was already weighing on her. THEN, when I sprung the "hey, this is what I'm planning on doing...whataya think?" kind of thing, well, it affected her even more.....as in she sensed that she was an afterthought in the entire matter. (From my perspective, it was simply a misunderstanding as I though she was going to be working, as I had already related. Fellas, there's no sense in fighting that one, though, right? ;) )

Anyway, the flowers will show up today. I have already mitigated the family thing in that I'll be getting together with them a bit earlier on Christmas Eve early afternoon, then scoot up north so that we can still have that late afternoon together.
 
Just make her make "that noise" a couple of times between now and then, so she knows what's up.
 
If you are marvelous in bed; then you can make up for anything. If you are weak sauce, then your relationship is good as dead!
 
magnifier661 said:
If you are marvelous in bed; then you can make up for anything. If you are weak sauce, then your relationship is good as dead!
Click to expand...

Word to the wise: Not everything in life can be simply reduced to the bedroom dynamic.
 
Relationship Rule #1: Don't make assumptions.

Talk FIRST, then plan. It will save a lot of stress, and problems down the road. Its' OK for the man to make all the plans, etc. But, just ask her first what she wants to do and when she wants to do it, and then you do the rest. She'll get what she wants, and ultimately, you'll get what you want. She will appreciate your consideration, and also the effort you put into planning things to accommodate her needs.

And, if you screw up (in her eyes), apologize and send flowers.

BNM
 
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