Forum Game Whose fault will it be: Owner edition

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Mediocre Man said:
I think it’s too personal. I like to be a bit private. I’ll give you a vague hint. No way you’ll get it, but I’m a private person. The hint is……Roll Tide. Good luck
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I respect that but the hint was a good one! It's one of the few states I've never visited
 
Portland's Chamber of Commerce or whatever they call themselves will be too enthusiastic to cash in on any potential real estate development and as a result will make the new arena project an absolute nightmare for the city. They will take no blame for this, but it will contribute to Tommy taking his new basketball and going home with it. We will retain the history and name, but that will be it for NBA basketball in Portland, all for the greed of people who'd rather have five-minute parking spots in front of swanky hotels than safe bike lanes for people who actually live in the city.
 
Tommy, for his part, will become too eager to Spend Money on Winning and Make His Mark on the league. He'll sell off the assets and players for piece parts of three different failed dynasties, and the entire thing will crumble as he relies too heavily on Damian Lillard, who will be all too eager to tell the new owner exactly who they should be going after. We will go from a team with great potential to a team with failed expectations in two years. Dame will leave again, soured by the fan backlash to his horrendous personnel suggestions, and the curse will finally solidify in the city. Some will be relieved when the Blazers leave Portland.
 
Everything Beagle said:
Portland's Chamber of Commerce or whatever they call themselves will be too enthusiastic to cash in on any potential real estate development and as a result will make the new arena project an absolute nightmare for the city. They will take no blame for this, but it will contribute to Tommy taking his new basketball and going home with it. We will retain the history and name, but that will be it for NBA basketball in Portland, all for the greed of people who'd rather have five-minute parking spots in front of swanky hotels than safe bike lanes for people who actually live in the city.
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Everything Beagle said:
Tommy, for his part, will become too eager to Spend Money on Winning and Make His Mark on the league. He'll sell off the assets and players for piece parts of three different failed dynasties, and the entire thing will crumble as he relies too heavily on Damian Lillard, who will be all too eager to tell the new owner exactly who they should be going after. We will go from a team with great potential to a team with failed expectations in two years. Dame will leave again, soured by the fan backlash to his horrendous personnel suggestions, and the curse will finally solidify in the city. Some will be relieved when the Blazers leave Portland.
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Shit, I read this and forgot which thread I was in and was worried for you. @Mediocre Man should give you points just for scaring me like that.
 
It's obviously the fault of the same demonic force that fucked up Walton's back, the same festering fuckery that put our second best team of all time together during Jordan's prime, the same evil entity that fucked up Roy's and Oden's knees, the same satanic soul that gave Mr. Allen cancer and therefore allowed Olshey to kick the can during Dame's entire initial stint with our team. I fault some barely imaginable curse that's been on our team since the basketball gods breathed life into it in 1970.
 
Everything Beagle said:
Tommy, for his part, will become too eager to Spend Money on Winning and Make His Mark on the league. He'll sell off the assets and players for piece parts of three different failed dynasties, and the entire thing will crumble as he relies too heavily on Damian Lillard, who will be all too eager to tell the new owner exactly who they should be going after. We will go from a team with great potential to a team with failed expectations in two years. Dame will leave again, soured by the fan backlash to his horrendous personnel suggestions, and the curse will finally solidify in the city. Some will be relieved when the Blazers leave Portland.
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Wow. Best @Strenuus imitation ever........
 
Let’s go with something base out of Raleigh, NC. I will go with Golden Corral.
 
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