I acknowledged not knowing much about Asperger's. And others don't know much about my community.
Yeah, I get thats what you're saying. It's just funny that you're arguing he doesn't know your community, when you're being critical of what he said, when he's basically saying because of how his brain is wired, that's how he see's it. Not in a "wrong vs right" aspect, but just a black and white thing. And it's not a "I'm a old codger, it's how it was when I was a kid" mind either.
I also think if people read up on ASD/Aspergers (and a variety of other disabilities/difference lifestyles), there'd be far less confusion/misinterpretation what people are saying.
His reaction has zero to do with getting to know a community better, whereas your response has something to do with not knowing his community that well.
example: I have people I work with every week, and they've known me for years now. And at times I interact with dozens of people on or near the ASD spectrum/umbrella. And there are times when I'm joking or using nuance in my language, or use certain words that are socially acceptable between friends and they don't necessarily interpret it the same way.
Even the ones who I have worked with and have known for years.
Why do the ones who have known me for years, in some cases almost 15 years, still struggle with reading my body language or tone?
Because of how their brain is wired. It's not a case where they need to "know me better" (that's part of it) as much as a reminder that I have to realize that I need to know their community better.
Their reactions (or lack of reactions) don't mean they're slighting me etc, but it doesn't mean there aren't people who are ASD/aspergers, who don't like me or don't find me pleasant to be around. I'm also not saying this is how it is with everyone on the ASD/aspergers spectrum.
In other words, sometimes we have to learn to not immediately get on the defensive. It took me a long time to learn that lesson with the population I work with.