Funny 2016 edition of the House of Random

[JfizzleBlazer]

So.... How was it?

Asking for a friend bruh?

It was amazing. Got to roll over and go to sleep directly after without all that mushy cuddling afterwards

 

[BLAZINGGIANTS]

Asking for a friend bruh?

It was amazing. Got to roll over and go to sleep directly after without all that mushy cuddling afterwards

But you still cuddled her anyway, didn't you?

 

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[SlyPokerDog]

The guy on the motorcycle lived.

 

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[oldfisherman]

 

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[JfizzleBlazer]

Probably already posted at some point.

Nsfw

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Quirky, Stylish and Smooth. New trend in the making? | barbershapp hair cut 2016

 

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[SlyPokerDog]

Gun that looks like a smartphone, that's not going to make the cops paranoid...

 

[oldfisherman]

Gun that looks like a smartphone, that's not going to make the cops paranoid...

The anti gun crowd and law makers are way ahead of the criminals on this gun/cell phone camera issue.

The new states laws that forbid cell phone use while driving is designed to reduce drive by shootings.

Plus if you try to use this gun to takes pictures of a reporter that is naked, or a celebrity that is having sex with someone else's spouse, you will be sued for a bazillion dollars.

 

[riverman]

Gun that looks like a smartphone, that's not going to make the cops paranoid...

looks more like a printer ink cartridge to me

 

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[PDXFonz]

 

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[UncleCliffy'sDaddy]

Jeez, if this isn't the rock solid truth. At this stage of my life I'm having to explain to my granddaughters why, in photos taken 40+ years ago I looked eerily just like Fonz's avatar....but then, being so into ourselves at that age, we don't stop to think about how silly we might look to future grandchildren. Let this be a lesson to all you younger folks. What might be the norm today seldom ages well......

 

[MARIS61]

Probably already posted at some point.

Nsfw

Ewe.

 

[MARIS61]

Warning, this is a murder.

But if you watch, you gotta watch the ending.

 

[santeesioux]

 

[JfizzleBlazer]

I think I saw this person on the max when the Bernie gathering waited for public transit last week after his event at the moda center

 

[SlyPokerDog]

 

[SlyPokerDog]

A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class.

The man sneezes, pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman can't believe what she just saw and decides she is hallucinating.

A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again. He pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman is about to go nuts. She can't believe that such a rude person exists. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes yet again. He takes his wang out and wipes the tip off. The woman has finally had enough.

She turns to the man and says, "Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've removed your penis from your pants to wipe it off! What the hell kind of degenerate are you?"

The man replies, "I am sorry to have disturbed you, ma'am. I have a very rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."

The woman then says, "Oh, how strange. What are you taking for it?"

The man looks at her and says, "Pepper."

 

[UncleCliffy'sDaddy]

First the Apple

A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car.

Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of

them was hurt.



After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said; "Wow,

just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we

are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should

meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest

of our days."



The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be

a sign from God!"



The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle.

My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of 75 year old

scotch didn't break. Surely God meant for us to drink this vintage

delicacy and celebrate our good fortune."



Then she handed the bottle to the man.



The man nods his head in agreement, opened it, drank half the

bottle and then handed it back to the woman. The woman took

the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it back

to the man.



The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"



She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."



Adam ate the apple, too!

Men will never learn!

 

[santeesioux]

 

[santeesioux]

 

[SlyPokerDog]