Bachelor Parties: Lamest and Coolest

[Lanny]

Holy shit, you're past 40, bro? Better get them kids out quick or you're going to be an old geezer by the time your kids turn 10. I'm potentially in that position.

I'm long past that.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

I'm thinking of going ridiculous on Saturday night of my weekend.

Basically start of by renting the back room of a Tiki Bar. Bunch of appetizers and drinks for 2 hours or so. Have a party bus pick everyone up, drink on the bus and get amped up then hit up Fremont Street.

Go play wasted bingo at the Plaza hotel (they have a room with 280 seats) until they kick us out, then find the guy we can kick in the nuts for $10 and have us all take a kick on video. Then be a bunch of fucking goons (I'll bring a megaphone with me) up and down Fremont Street.



May rock this:



Then just take over bars or maybe have a bar crawl map. Maybe make a rule that no one can leave until someone in the group makes out with a chick. Or dude. Or whatever. LOVE IS LOVE, SON.

 

[Orion Bailey]

Coolest ones are the ones i attend.
The lamest ones? The ones i dont attend.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

 

[riverman]

Maybe make a rule that no one can leave until someone in the group makes out with a chick. Or dude.

You know this only can lead to all your drunk buddies french kissing you so they can go puke in their room?

 

[Orion Bailey]

You know this only can lead to all your drunk buddies french kissing you so they can go puke in their room?

So im moving from Co back to washington a long time ago. Shot down to central valley cali and then headed north. Ended up in san fran for halloween.
So im like” lets find aclub and party!!”

so after asking around for wheee the hip underground clubs are we get directions. In some industrial area walking down the street and found a club.
We entered and no more than 10 seconds in someone... comes up and sticks their tongue right in my mouth with a nice smacker. But they had a mask on. I was all fired up(drunk as hell) and never gave it a second thought. Until the next day when my bro says,

“ dude. You let a masked person kiss you in san fran?
you know it was a guy right?”

i almost puke up my morning cocktail right in his face. From then on ive been sure it was a guy.


Not that i have an issue with that. Its just very much not for me.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

Thinking of best way to keep the communication going for the weekend. Text groups could be a mess as people won't know who's who by phone number. Thinking about making either a Whatsapp or Telegram group chat.

 

[riverman]

Thinking of best way to keep the communication going for the weekend. Text groups could be a mess as people won't know who's who by phone number. Thinking about making either a Whatsapp or Telegram group chat.

post videos of your strippers and nobody around here will text....they'll be busy

 

[Orion Bailey]

Thinking of best way to keep the communication going for the weekend. Text groups could be a mess as people won't know who's who by phone number. Thinking about making either a Whatsapp or Telegram group chat.

i use discord with a few people.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

i use discord with a few people.

I'm guessing it'll be about 15-20 people. Most of them prob won't be tech savvy enough for discord, so maybe Whatsapp should be good enough.

 

[Orion Bailey]

I'm guessing it'll be about 15-20 people. Most of them prob won't be tech savvy enough for discord, so maybe Whatsapp should be good enough.

i heard it lacks flavor though. Id go with whatchamacallit if i were you.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

My game is so off that I’m starting to feel like you old geezers. I don’t normally wear my wedding band (for reasons), and I didn’t wear one in Vegas last weekend. I’m fairly sure that this stripper looking chick was hitting on me while I was playing blackjack. Chick was probably an escort girl looking for high rollers as I was in the high limit room.

@EL PRESIDENTE, make sure you get it completely out of your system before time’s up, bro.

I've already gotten everything out of my system. I'm chillin yo. We're not doing Strip Clubs, I've grown immune to the temptations and tricks of the stripper through my many years of experience in the champagne rooms.

It will be a successful bachelor party for me if all my single guy friends get laid and we have crazy stories to tell.

Anything else is just extra credit.

 

[Lanny]

Nobody does that to me and lives. Oh, I guess my wife has that power over me.

 

[Orion Bailey]

My game is so off that I’m starting to feel like you old geezers. I don’t normally wear my wedding band (for reasons), and I didn’t wear one in Vegas last weekend. I’m fairly sure that this stripper looking chick was hitting on me while I was playing blackjack. Chick was probably an escort girl looking for high rollers as I was in the high limit room.

@EL PRESIDENTE, make sure you get it completely out of your system before time’s up, bro.

be careful of that shit. I used to take mine off when washing my hands because it was loose. Then i left it in a bathroom one day.
Now i have one tight enough i can no longer get it off. One might say im now married to it.

 

[Orion Bailey]

I've already gotten everything out of my system. I'm chillin yo. We're not doing Strip Clubs, I've grown immune to the temptations and tricks of the stripper through my many years of experience in the champagne rooms.

It will be a successful bachelor party for me if all my single guy friends get laid and we have crazy stories to tell.

Anything else is just extra credit.

omg!! You are actually becoming old!
Damn old fart! Lol.

 

[Orion Bailey]

Yeah, I'm not losing that. Kind of a special wedding band. Wife's very easy going, but she'd kick my ass if I were to ever lose that.

i had my wife buy the new one and blamed the loss of the old one on her. She picked the original one out and didnt have me sized so it was always slipping off.
Lol.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

Yeah, I'm not losing that. Kind of a special wedding band. Wife's very easy going, but she'd kick my ass if I were to ever lose that.

One of my brother's friends misplaced his wedding ring when he was on my brother's bachelor party and was freaking out. Luckily he found it back at the Air BnB. I guess he just got it on Amazon, so it was easily replaceable but still was freaking out and killed his vibe one night.

 

[Orion Bailey]

Isn't it hard to play the guitar with that on?

actually no. Its so far up on the finger it doesnt get in the way. If it sat between the middle bends of the finger i would have remained single!

shhh dont tell the wife!

 

[riverman]

We put our rings away when covid measures came into play....Fauci a year ago said the virus could hide under rings when washing hands so to be safe...no rings...when my wife get vaccinated we can put them back on again.

 

[tlongII]

What the hell?! How did he take those shots?

 

[tlongII]

My game is so off that I’m starting to feel like you old geezers. I don’t normally wear my wedding band (for reasons), and I didn’t wear one in Vegas last weekend. I’m fairly sure that this stripper looking chick was hitting on me while I was playing blackjack. Chick was probably an escort girl looking for high rollers as I was in the high limit room.

@EL PRESIDENTE, make sure you get it completely out of your system before time’s up, bro.

Was that Planet Hollywood? That place is filled with hookers.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

His balls never dropped. And, he most definitely taped his junk up and has some sort of protection. Also, jumped to lessen the blow.

Not a single one with a proper kick except for the little kid.

I will learn Dim Mak

 

[Hoopguru]

Now if you could get some of the old geezers here laid too, you'd be a God walking amongst us peasants.

20 years ago my doctor who's a friend too, told said that married men that have sex at least 4 times a week will live 20 years longer! Thats one Rx I never minded filling!

 

[Lanny]

No, Bellagio. I don't think she was the cheap hooker type. Wore brand name clothes, nice jewelry, and a Rolex. Fishing for high rollers is my guess.

Stayed at Planet Hollywood a couple of times. That place is rowdy! Lots of the college kids go there, so a little annoying. Their dealers are the best looking. Also, best place to gamble on The Strip if you want free drinks.

When gambling, you're damned right, I want free drinks and keep 'em coming. I hate waiting an hour between drinks.

 

[Lanny]

Well, then, I know I'll have at least another 20 more years.

I wonder if it's 8 times/week, would you then increase your life expectancy to 40 years? If so, I'm cranking it up!

What you really mean is you're catching up, youngster

 

[bigbailes]

No, Bellagio. I don't think she was the cheap hooker type. Wore brand name clothes, nice jewelry, and a Rolex. Fishing for high rollers is my guess.

Stayed at Planet Hollywood a couple of times. That place is rowdy! Lots of the college kids go there, so a little annoying. Their dealers are the best looking. Also, best place to gamble on The Strip if you want free drinks.

Was in Vegas quite awhile back, the weekend the NBA ASG was there I was with my dad and uncles for Sunday night. It was pretty late and we were at a bar at the MGM, my dad and uncle enjoying a drink or two and I was at the bar playing video poker. A couple 'ladies of the night' sat down with my dad and uncle and started chatting them up, all of us very aware of what was going on. I was listening to the convo while playing poker and the one talking to my dad it turns out was from the PDX area. Finally the ladies went for the kill but my dad was like "no I'm happily married and besides that's my son over there" ... without skipping a beat the chick goes "I can give you a father/son special if you'd like" ... it's about as close as I've ever been to doing a spit take with my drink. Fast forward about 6 months and me, dad and mom are walking into a Fred Meyer and my dad gets as white as a ghost and starts nudging me. We break off from mom for a second and he tells me the one that wanted the father/son combo had just walked right past us.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

Was in Vegas quite awhile back, the weekend the NBA ASG was there I was with my dad and uncles for Sunday night. It was pretty late and we were at a bar at the MGM, my dad and uncle enjoying a drink or two and I was at the bar playing video poker. A couple 'ladies of the night' sat down with my dad and uncle and started chatting them up, all of us very aware of what was going on. I was listening to the convo while playing poker and the one talking to my dad it turns out was from the PDX area. Finally the ladies went for the kill but my dad was like "no I'm happily married and besides that's my son over there" ... without skipping a beat the chick goes "I can give you a father/son special if you'd like" ... it's about as close as I've ever been to doing a spit take with my drink. Fast forward about 6 months and me, dad and mom are walking into a Fred Meyer and my dad gets as white as a ghost and starts nudging me. We break off from mom for a second and he tells me the one that wanted the father/son combo had just walked right past us.

How was it?

 

[SlyPokerDog]

How was it?

I'm guessing a lifetime ban from ever using the dressing rooms in a Fred Meyers.

 

[bigbailes]

How was it?

hahaha ... that's one we both politely passed on but I remember her being pretty cute. I'm sure it was a GREAT weekend for that business but not something I'm going to pay for.

 

[EL PRESIDENTE]

hahaha ... that's one we both politely passed on but I remember her being pretty cute. I'm sure it was a GREAT weekend for that business but not something I'm going to pay for.

I remember once we hired some strippers to the room for a bachelor party in Vegas, one was actually from Portland and she froze up when she knew I was from there and knew people.