Bill Simmons on MVP (LVP)

[Reep]

Link

159. Greg Oden
A Human Foul Machine the likes of which we haven't seen in nearly two decades. He's averaging 21.6 minutes and 4.0 fouls, which prorates to 8.8 fouls per 48 minutes. (I'm almost positive nine fouls gets you disqualified from any NBA game.) I asked Jeff Bennett's ESPN research crew to find the last player who averaged 20-plus minutes and topped that 8.9 number. The answer? Stanley Roberts with 9.5 in 1992. Wait, it gets worse. Here are Oden's rookie comps compared to Roberts' rookie season in '92:

Oden: 21.3 mpg, 8.7 ppg, 6.9 rpg, 1.1 bpg, 56.3 FG percent, 63.3 FT percent

Roberts: 20.3 mpg, 10.4 ppg, 6.1 rpg, 1.5 bpg, 52.8 FG percent, 51.5 FT percent

(Chilling when you remember that Roberts' nickname was "Fat Stanley." How long do we have to keep pretending Portland didn't massively and totally screw up the 2007 draft? I feel like we're trapped in a bad marriage where we have to pretend everything's good for the sake of the kids. Again, STANLEY ROBERTS!!!!)

Flame On!

Somewhat redeeming though:

48. Rudy Fernandez
My single favorite bench player this season. I didn't realize it until Trevor Ariza decked him last month and I made the Neil McCauley "I've Had Enough, Let's Throw Waingro In The Trunk And Kill Him" Face. I am calling a moratorium on all cheap shots against Rudy. The league needs him. He's too much fun.

Classic Simmons (on KG):

The Celtics are doing the right thing and pretending that he just needs rest and everything's fine and he'll be back for the playoffs and don't worry and nothing to see here ... and if you believe that, I have some Billy Owens rookie cards I want to sell you.

7. Brandon Roy
Think of all the under-25 guys we watched over the past two decades get thrust into a "You're a little young for this, but you're our franchise player, so um, how 'bout you be our leader?" and flounder miserably. We are talking about DOZENS of guys, a few of whom had more talent than Roy, but only five rose to the challenge without veteran help: KG, Chris Paul, LeBron, Wade and Roy. That's the complete list. (Unless I forgot someone. Which I'm sure I did.) To Roy's credit, some believe Portland is THE playoff sleeper and it's mainly because he's turned into such a killer closer. Stay tuned.

 

[Boob-No-More]

OK, I used to think Simmons was a funny guy. Now I just think he's a dick.

He seems incapable of understanding the difference between someone who ate his way out of the league and someone recovering from microfracture knee surgery.

And, for the record, Oden has better overall numbers (PER = 18.1 vs. PER = 16.4) than Roberts had as a rookie AND Roberts actually had a pretty promising rookie year - he made 2nd team all-rookie. So, I guess we can count on Simmons to vote for Oden for 2nd team all-rookie, right? No, of course not, he loves to hate on Oden. In spite of winning the title last year, he's still bitter that his Celtics got hosed by the ping pong balls after they deliberately tanked in a desperate effort to get a chance at Oden or Durant.

BNM

 

[maxiep]

I look for Simmons to bring the funny, not the insight. I'll leave that to actual analysts.

 

[maxiep]

OK, I used to think Simmons was a funny guy. Now I just think he's a dick.

He seems incapable of understanding the difference between someone who ate his way out of the league and someone recovering from microfracture knee surgery.

And, for the record, Oden has better overall numbers (PER = 18.1 vs. PER = 16.4) than Roberts had as a rookie AND Roberts actually had a pretty promising rookie year - he made 2nd team all-rookie. So, I guess we can count on Simmons to vote for Oden for 2nd team all-rookie, right? No, of course not, he loves to hate on Oden. In spite of winning the title last year, he's still bitter that his Celtics got hosed by the ping pong balls after they deliberately tanked in a desperate effort to get a chance at Oden or Durant.

BNM

Make no mistake, if the Celts would have gotten the #1 pick, he would have been all over them to pick GO (the Bill Russell parallels would have been too much for him). And if Oden would have had these injuries and foul calls, he would appoint himself Chief Apologist (Robert Parish pun not intended).

 

[Wizard Mentor]

Simmons is ...

one part great humorist,
one part Kingspeed,
one part Stephen A. Smith

He's funny, sometimes ridiculously funny, but not to be taken seriously. Though it is hard to
not take people seriously when they make inflammatory statements and actually mean them.

This time next year I think the prognosticators will be singing a different tune when it comes
to Oden. But, like the Blazers, he will have to prove himself first.

 

[andalusian]

Read his Bosh entry.
Read his Durant entry.
Notice parallels.
Remember that Durant's Texas team was worse than LMA's Texas team.
Remember that Durant's Texas team was worse than DJ's Texas team.
Remember that in 60 games played Greg Oden has as many wins (or more) than Durant has in 2 years in the league... Someone should check it out to figure it for sure - But the Westbrooks are at 22 wins now and 5 of them were without Durant - so he was part of 17 wins this year... If you add the 20 they won last year and assume he was a member of the team that won them all - his is now at 37 wins. I bet Greg won more than 37 wins in the 60 he participated in...

 

[Kaydow]

Simmons seems to have a massive HO for Oden. How many times is he going to slam the guy? It's getting old.

At least he had some nice things to say about Rudy (his "favorite bench player")

But we get it Bill . . . you think Oden sucks and was a massive mistake.

 

[maxiep]

Read his Bosh entry.
Read his Durant entry.
Notice parallels.
Remember that Durant's Texas team was worse than LMA's Texas team.
Remember that Durant's Texas team was worse than DJ's Texas team.
Remember that in 60 games played Greg Oden has as many wins (or more) than Durant has in 2 years in the league... Someone should check it out to figure it for sure - But the Westbrooks are at 22 wins now and 5 of them were without Durant - so he was part of 17 wins this year... If you add the 20 they won last year and assume he was a member of the team that won them all - his is now at 37 wins. I bet Greg won more than 37 wins in the 60 he participated in...

Greg also took his team to the NCAA Finals while Durant's team didn't even make it to the Sweet 16.

Kevin will win all the personal awards, Greg will win all the jewelry.

 

[maxiep]

Simmons seems to have a massive HO for Oden. How many times is he going to slam the guy? It's getting old.

At least he had some nice things to say about Rudy (his "favorite bench player")

But we get it Bill . . . you think Oden sucks and was a massive mistake.

Bill thinks Oden should be a Celtic. That's why he's so bitter.

 

[BIG Q]

Oden has played in 39 victories to date.

 

[Kaydow]

Bill thinks Oden should be a Celtic. That's why he's so bitter.

Well, than his Celtics wouldn't have won a ring last year. It was a (temporary) blessing for Boston. Losing the Oden/Durrant sweepstakes propelled other moves that netted Ray Allen and KG.

 

[Erroneous Subterfuge]

OK, I used to think Simmons was a funny guy. Now I just think he's a dick.

He seems incapable of understanding the difference between someone who ate his way out of the league and someone recovering from microfracture knee surgery.

And, for the record, Oden has better overall numbers (PER = 18.1 vs. PER = 16.4) than Roberts had as a rookie AND Roberts actually had a pretty promising rookie year - he made 2nd team all-rookie. So, I guess we can count on Simmons to vote for Oden for 2nd team all-rookie, right? No, of course not, he loves to hate on Oden. In spite of winning the title last year, he's still bitter that his Celtics got hosed by the ping pong balls after they deliberately tanked in a desperate effort to get a chance at Oden or Durant.

BNM

He's still entertaining. I'd be a little bent as well if my favorite team tanked for the Oden sweepstakes only to have Oden head all the way across country to the Pacific Northwest. Time heals all wounds they say, but some just cut too deep.

I don't have any problem with him pointing out the obvious, that Oden has had foul trouble. The Blazers have had a great year and they have two good centers. Oden outplayed Durant in their last meeting, so that's at least a start. And he's only going to get better, while the Celtics get older.

 

[PapaG]

Barring injury, this is the worst version of Greg Oden that the NBA will see for years, and he still changes the game when he's in it and into it right now.

 

[Pinwheel1]

I have never found him funny or entertaining on any subject. Too me he always reminds of that guy who throws in the occasional "Thats what she said" and then similes thinking he is clever. He is just a big bag of wind to me.

 

[BIG Q]

I have never seen a writer that let his blind lust for his team be so incredibly mean to a player that has had so many unfortunate injuries. And that is what he is, just mean. Blind to the contributions Oden is making just because his heart was broken after his team went to all of the trouble to tank a season to get Oden and to only come up with the fifth pick. Truly pathetic.

 

[PapaG]

Back in reality, Oden is the 3rd best rookie overall in terms of PER, plus he's the 12th best center in the entire league in PER. He's also 7th for centers in rebound rate (Przy is #1!), first in offensive rebound rate in the entire NBA for all positions (by 0.8), and 9th for Cs in true shooting %.

Simmons is an idiot, by any objective standard.

 

[LittleAlex]

I could care less what Simmons thinks of Oden. He probably hasn't seen Oden play one time this season. His article was still pretty funny, his mailbags are quite good and he is correct fairly frequently. He is just very wrong in this case. He has been blinded by Durant's stats and not the overall situation.

Simmons is not the only guy on the planet that feels this way about Oden. There are actual Portland fans who agree with him. Until Oden can quiet his detractors we will get to read articles just like this one.

I am hoping Oden has a huge game at least once in the playoffs.

 

[PapaG]

I could care less what Simmons thinks of Oden. He probably hasn't seen Oden play one time this season. His article was still pretty funny, his mailbags are quite good and he is correct fairly frequently. He is just very wrong in this case. He has been blinded by Durant's stats and not the overall situation.

Simmons is not the only guy on the planet that feels this way about Oden. There are actual Portland fans who agree with him. Until Oden can quiet his detractors we will get to read articles just like this one.
I am hoping Oden has a huge game at least once in the playoffs.

There will always be articles like this, because there will always be something to criticize in Oden's game. But his reasons for calling out Oden were simply ridiculous and had to be addressed.

 

[mook]

I've had to write humor for a living, believe it or not. So I appreciate how hard it can be. Simmons is a lot better at it than most people give him credit. This one really busted me up:

45. Vince Carter
My buddy Sal and I took our kids to a Clips-Nets game last month. Vince was on fire from the get-go and finished with 42. Sal remarked at one point without a hint of irony, "Wow, Vince is trying tonight." And I thought to myself, "That one moment just summed up Vince's entire career." Wow, Vince is trying tonight.

 

[PapaG]

I've had to write humor for a living, believe it or not. So I appreciate how hard it can be. Simmons is a lot better at it than most people give him credit. This one really busted me up:

I find much of his writing comical, but his infatuation with criticizing Greg Oden has gone from somewhat humorous, to a bit pathetic, to now borderline obsessive as this season has progressed.

 

[mook]

I find much of his writing comical, but his infatuation with criticizing Greg Oden has gone from somewhat humorous, to a bit pathetic, to now borderline obsessive as this season has progressed.

I just view it as part of his schtick. He's a diehard Celtics fan who feels a weird sense of outrage over losing that lottery still (even though his team got a championship as a result).

I remember people saying what a loser Sheed was and how he'd never amount to anything after we traded him. How he'd destroy the Pistons' chemistry. I didn't begrudge people their right to vent. But I did take some quiet satisfaction in seeing him raise the championship trophy that same year. I just knew he could do it.

When Oden pulls together a long string of dominating performances, whether in the playoffs this year, next year or the year after (I doubt it'll be that long), I'll get some quiet satisfaction out of reading Simmons fumble for words to explain how he didn't really mean it like people interpreted it. He'll be wrong, I'll be right.

I know it'll happen, so why get bothered by this stuff in the meantime?

 

[illmatic99]

Paul Pierce is above Roy.

 

[Boob-No-More]

Back in reality, Oden is the 3rd best rookie overall in terms of PER, plus he's the 12th best center in the entire league in PER. He's also 7th for centers in rebound rate (Przy is #1!), first in offensive rebound rate in the entire NBA for all positions (by 0.8), and 9th for Cs in true shooting %.

Simmons is an idiot, by any objective standard.

Yep. I was all for drafting Oden over Durant from the second we won the lottery. I am a firm believer that defense and rebounding wins champsionships. And, even with his injuries and foul problems, Greg gives us those things. He's one of only a couple centers that is playing at least 20 MPG and is in the top 10 in both TRB% (total rebound rate) and DRtg (defensive rating). Even if he scores zero PPG, Greg Oden is already making an impact in the two areas where this teams was weakest last season.

And, he has barely scratched the surface. He will get better - a LOT better.

BNM

 

[PapaG]

I just view it as part of his schtick. He's a diehard Celtics fan who feels a weird sense of outrage over losing that lottery still (even though his team got a championship as a result).

I remember people saying what a loser Sheed was and how he'd never amount to anything after we traded him. How he'd destroy the Pistons' chemistry. I didn't begrudge people their right to vent. But I did take some quiet satisfaction in seeing him raise the championship trophy that same year. I just knew he could do it.

When Oden pulls together a long string of dominating performances, whether in the playoffs this year, next year or the year after (I doubt it'll be that long), I'll get some quiet satisfaction out of reading Simmons fumble for words to explain how he didn't really mean it like people interpreted it. He'll be wrong, I'll be right.

I know it'll happen, so why get bothered by this stuff in the meantime?

Because it passes the time, and it's fun to point out just how effective Oden has been when you point out his positive statistics instead of just dwelling on fouls. Plus, it doesn't bother me, because Simmons is basically a blogger who was given a forum at ESPN.

 

[Uther TheGardener]

all i got to say is that i hope his celtics get the brunt of his poison filled karma!

 

[hasoos]

If I ever see Bill Simmons

I am going to kick him in the gnards as hard as I can.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/090415

Greg Oden = Stanley Roberts?

That fully calls for a kick in the gnards. You know it would be much better if Simmons just admitted he never watches the Blazers, so he has no input.

 

[Storyteller2]

Re: If I ever see Bill Simmons

Caring what Simmons says about basketball is like caring what Jerry Seinfeld says about nuclear physics.

 

[Minstrel]

Re: If I ever see Bill Simmons

Caring what Simmons says about basketball is like caring what Jerry Seinfeld says about nuclear physics.

 

[Boob-No-More]

Chilling when you remember that Roberts' nickname was "Fat Stanley."

Actually, Roberts' nickname was Manly Stanley.

But hey, I suppose it's funnier if you can just make shit up and pretend it's true.

BNM

 

[Natebishop3]

Well, it's pretty obvious that Simmons has only watched a handful of Blazers games. If he really did watch, he would know that at least half of the fouls called on Oden are ticky tacky bullshit fouls.

The playoffs are going to be Oden's coming out party. He's going to dominate. I have a feeling. The Greg we've seen in the last few games is going to continue to emerge, and by the time we tip off our first playoff game, the beast will be unleashed. Simmons will eat his words before the week is out.