Bill Simmons trolls Portland... again

[santeesioux]

Western Conference
1. San Antonio, 64-18
2. L.A. Lakers, 63-19
3. Utah, 51-31
4. New Orleans, 48-34
5. Dallas, 46-36
6. L.A. Clippers, 45-37
7. Houston, 44-38
8. Denver, 44-38
9. Phoenix, 43-39
10. Zombies, 42-40
11. Portland, 41-41
12. Golden State, 28-54
13. Memphis, 24-58
14. Minnesota, 22-60
15. Sacramento, 15-67

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/part2/091023&sportCat=nba

 

[RoyIsClutch07]

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/part2/091023&sportCat=nba

LOL

 

[PtldPlatypus]

Unbelievable--the "Zombies" with a better record than the Blazers? How does this guy have any credibility?

Oh, and then there's this:

2009 Nuggets: 54-28, lost in second round to eventual champs

Weren't the Nuggs in the WCF?

 

[noknobs]

I didn't think he was capable of surprising me with his bullshit anymore. I was wrong.

 

[blazerboy30]

Wow.

It really is strange how butt-hurt he is towards Portland.

 

[cdub503]

musta got the gift that keeps on giving when he was here on 82nd or something and is putting his hatred to 82nd to the blazers?

 

[LittleAlex]

LOL

His reasoning is that Portland's players are going to tune out Nate as well as the addition of Miller ruining Portland's chemistry.

Pretty much a worst case scenario. Not totally impossible but not very likely.

Update: His prediction for the Thunder is beyond retarded. They still don't have a front line to speak of and are paper thin. Unless Durant morphs into LeBron that team isn't going to get over 35 wins next season.

 

[RoyIsClutch07]

His reasoning is that Portland's players are going to tune out Nate as well as the addition of Miller ruining Portland's chemistry.

Pretty much a worst case scenario. Not totally impossible but not very likely.

I don't ever see Nate being tuned out UNLESS Brandon Roy tunes him out. If he does, then yes its all down hill. I just don't see that happening because Nate gives Roy everything he wants on a golden platter.

Now if he removes Blake out of the starting lineup....

 

[PtldPlatypus]

His reasoning is that Portland's players are going to tune out Nate as well as the addition of Miller ruining Portland's chemistry.

Pretty much a worst case scenario. Not totally impossible but not very likely.

Update: His prediction for the Thunder is beyond retarded. They still don't have a front line to speak of and are paper thin. Unless Durant morphs into LeBron that team isn't going to get over 35 wins next season.

He thinks Durant might put up a Jordan-level season. He loves Durant as much as he hates Portland.

 

[Idog1976]

Don't click on the link it just encourages him. If there is any justice in the world (no, I know there isn't any) then Simmons will have his neck broken by a high velocity block of Durant by Oden.

 

[PtldPlatypus]

Don't click on the link it just encourages him. If there is any justice in the world (no, I know there isn't any) then Simmons will have his neck broken by a high velocity block of Durant by Oden.

Neck broken might be overkill--nose flattened would be sufficient.

 

[Luther]

That just gave me a good laugh...He actually get's paid for this??

 

[oldmangrouch]

November 19th.

Circle that date on your calender. Simmons will be at the Beaverton Borders flogging his new book.

 

[¹²³]

He also wrote this in the first part of his article:

(Follow-up note: It continues to floor me that anyone would overpay someone who isn't a franchise player during these rocky economic times. Like Portland this week -- the Trail Blazers inked LaMarcus Aldridge to a five-year, $65 million extension, a deal that might have made sense in the 2006 market, but not right now. I like LaMarcus Aldridge. He's solid. In this climate, he should not make more than $8 million or $9 million a year. The cap might drop $6 million next season for all we know. Also, inking anyone to an extension that early means you can't trade him for two solid years. You're basically marrying the guy. Which means Portland married a power forward who doesn't play inside and grabs seven to eight rebounds a game. With nobody else bidding for him, no real urgency to do a deal for another year and no idea whether declining revenue will keep wrecking the cap. This makes sense … how? And you thought the NBA was getting smarter.)

Link

 

[RoyIsClutch07]

November 19th.

Circle that date on your calender. Simmons will be at the Beaverton Borders flogging his new book.

Play fair boys.

 

[oldmangrouch]

Play fair boys.

Meaning?

 

[Wheels]

November 19th.

Circle that date on your calender. Simmons will be at the Beaverton Borders flogging his new book.

thank you for that info

 

[RoyIsClutch07]

Meaning?

Don't get carried away.

 

[Wheels]

Don't get carried away.

As in dont kidnap him? I wouldnt think people would go that far lol. But booing him is ok me thinks

 

[santeesioux]

Grab the pitchforks!

 

[RoyIsClutch07]

As in dont kidnap him? I wouldnt think people would go that far lol. But booing him is ok me thinks

It was more of an additive. A joke if you will.

 

[¹²³]

He also wrote this in the first part of his article:



Link

And this:

21. Andre Miller
We knew Miller was a bad fit when the Blazers signed him. It just didn't feel right. He's a moody loner; they had great chemistry last season. He needs the ball in his hands; so does Brandon Roy. He likes freelancing; Nate McMillan is hands on. But Portland felt obligated to spend its extra cap money, and nobody else was pursuing Miller, so what transpired was the equivalent of two single wedding guests going through the motions on the dance floor.

I could use someone, and you could use someone. Unfortunately, I hate bald guys and I have a tiny butt; you're bald and you love bubble butts. We have no spark and are destined to fail. But crap, there's nobody better. Screw it, would you like to come back to my room?

I get Portland's thinking: It wanted to turn that cap space into an asset. And I get Miller's thinking: He wanted to get paid and hoped things would work out. But now we're here. Incredibly, Portland plans on bringing Miller off the bench. He's already miserable. (And available, by the way. Make Kevin Pritchard an offer. Seriously, call him right now.) So what did we learn? Just because you have cap space doesn't mean you HAVE to use it.

The bigger issue …

20. Nate McMillan
OK, so here's the problem when you have a young/chemistry/good-guy team, a hands-on coach and guys willing to accept their roles: Eventually, those same guys get older and want to spread their wings a little. If the chemistry goes south, that makes it worse. I thought McMillan overcoached the Blazers out of Round 1 this past spring; playing too deliberately and going big against that Rockets team was death. He might have been the perfect coach for the 2007-08 Blazers, but not the 2009-10 version. The hands-on strategy works only for so long. Just a gut feeling: I think the Blazers will outgrow McMillan this season and stop responding to him. If it isn't happening already. (And I keep hearing that it is.) And by the way, every NBA season includes …

The "Nobody Thought They'd Be Ready This Soon" Team

(This year: the Clippers.)

The "Nobody Believed In Us!" Team

(This year: The Rockets.)

The "Last Season Everything Went Right; This Season Everything Went Wrong" Team

(Impossible to predict, but I'd guess the Nuggets here. Everything went right for them last year. That never happens twice.)

The "You Thought We'd Take Another Leap, But Instead We Went Backward Because Expectations Were Too High, We Tinkered With Our Chemistry And Our Young Guys Tuned Out Their Coach" Team

(Ladies and gentlemen, your 2009-10 Portland Trail Blazers!)

 

[hasoos]

His reasoning is that Portland's players are going to tune out Nate as well as the addition of Miller ruining Portland's chemistry.

Pretty much a worst case scenario. Not totally impossible but not very likely.

Update: His prediction for the Thunder is beyond retarded. They still don't have a front line to speak of and are paper thin. Unless Durant morphs into LeBron that team isn't going to get over 35 wins next season.

I hope the Blazers do really well just so Simmons head explodes much like in the movie "Scanners".

[video=youtube;HY-03vYYAjA]

 

[ebott]

He also wrote this in the first part of his article:

(Follow-up note: It continues to floor me that anyone would overpay someone who isn't a franchise player during these rocky economic times. Like Portland this week -- the Trail Blazers inked LaMarcus Aldridge to a five-year, $65 million extension, a deal that might have made sense in the 2006 market, but not right now. I like LaMarcus Aldridge. He's solid. In this climate, he should not make more than $8 million or $9 million a year. The cap might drop $6 million next season for all we know. Also, inking anyone to an extension that early means you can't trade him for two solid years. You're basically marrying the guy. Which means Portland married a power forward who doesn't play inside and grabs seven to eight rebounds a game. With nobody else bidding for him, no real urgency to do a deal for another year and no idea whether declining revenue will keep wrecking the cap. This makes sense … how? And you thought the NBA was getting smarter.)

I don't think he's wrong. This take is basically correct if viewed in a bubble. We over paid to continue riding the L-Train.

But that doesn't make him less of a ridiculously bitter biased jack face. This is just an example that nobody's always perfect. If you keep criticizing someone over and over and over again, eventually you're gonna be right.

God I can't wait for the season to start.

 

[Wheels]

It was more of an additive. A joke if you will.

gotcha.. sorry not trying to jump on you lol.. just dont know who to take serious anymore in this place lately.

 

[andalusian]

Update: His prediction for the Thunder is beyond retarded. They still don't have a front line to speak of and are paper thin. Unless Durant morphs into LeBron that team isn't going to get over 35 wins next season.

Yeah, nothing says world domination like having Omer Caspi being +13 in 28 minutes, with Durant -16 in 26 minutes.

That, right there, is the stuff legends are made from.

http://scores.espn.go.com/nba/boxscore?gameId=291022025

 

[RoyIsClutch07]

gotcha.. sorry not trying to jump on you lol.. just dont know who to take serious anymore in this place lately.

lol.

 

[BenDavis503]

November 19th.

Circle that date on your calender. Simmons will be at the Beaverton Borders flogging his new book.

We should all go an call him a fool.

 

[hasoos]

I don't think he's wrong. This take is basically correct if viewed in a bubble. We over paid to continue riding the L-Train.

But that doesn't make him less of a ridiculously bitter biased jack face. This is just an example that nobody's always perfect. If you keep criticizing someone over and over and over again, eventually you're gonna be right.

God I can't wait for the season to start.

Sort of. A lot of people talk about Rashard Lewis contract being a bad contract as well. But I didn't see them bitching about that when Orlando was in the finals last year. My point being, as long as you compete for the highest honors in the NBA, the contract is probably worth every last friggin cent.

 

[Schilly]

More from Simmons

Nate McMillanOK, so here's the problem when you have a young/chemistry/good-guy team, a hands-on coach and guys willing to accept their roles: Eventually, those same guys get older and want to spread their wings a little. If the chemistry goes south, that makes it worse. I thought McMillan overcoached the Blazers out of Round 1 this past spring; playing too deliberately and going big against that Rockets team was death. He might have been the perfect coach for the 2007-08 Blazers, but not the 2009-10 version. The hands-on strategy works only for so long. Just a gut feeling: I think the Blazers will outgrow McMillan this season and stop responding to him. If it isn't happening already. (And I keep hearing that it is.) And by the way, every NBA season includes …

The "You Thought We'd Take Another Leap, But Instead We Went Backward Because Expectations Were Too High, We Tinkered With Our Chemistry And Our Young Guys Tuned Out Their Coach" Team

(Ladies and gentlemen, your 2009-10 Portland Trail Blazers!)